The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread

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Wow. I just got a message from the girlfriend of a guy I was communicating with. It was the guy who seemed to be giving me the brushoff (but of course was the one I was most into). Apparently he was cheating on her with women from the site and she wanted to warn me about him.

I've gotten so jaded and suspicious. Not to sound corny, but are there really no good men out there? In this case it doesn't really matter, because it wasn't going anywhere. But I'd be really upset if I had gone out with him and started liking him and then this happened.

Have you ever gotten a message from a woman warning you about a man? I actually appreciated that she would take the time to do that, but I also know that it wasn't only out of the goodness of her heart. I'm sure part of it was driven by bitterness and wanting to blow up his spot, so to speak. She said he was a pathological liar. I could tell she was hurting badly just by the way she wrote about the situation.

In happier dating news, I'm still seeing the long-distance guy and I really like him. Just wish he lived closer! I also went on a first date with someone yesterday who seems really nice and is easy to talk to. He asked me out again, but I'm not sure what I want to do. He's OK looking but I'm not sure about the level of attraction.

Both of these guys seem really nice but, like I said, I'm so suspicious now!
In search of a lost signature...
So the bloke asked me to meet him at a pub near my job for drinks tonight too....plus he still wants to hang tomorrow
envgirl likes this.
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Woohoooo how did it go goddess???
25", hennahead, CO, goal: hip
Lol....guess! As I suspected...he got tired way before I got off..which is 12:30 am...so the evening never worked out.

We should still be on for tonight...lets see if that works
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Alas....it is 6:15....I'm still home. The bloke and I had plans at 7pm....haven't heard from him since like 10 this morning. Being stood up again....
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Have you heard from him???
25", hennahead, CO, goal: hip
Wow. I just got a message from the girlfriend of a guy I was communicating with. It was the guy who seemed to be giving me the brushoff (but of course was the one I was most into). Apparently he was cheating on her with women from the site and she wanted to warn me about him.

I've gotten so jaded and suspicious. Not to sound corny, but are there really no good men out there? In this case it doesn't really matter, because it wasn't going anywhere. But I'd be really upset if I had gone out with him and started liking him and then this happened.

Have you ever gotten a message from a woman warning you about a man? I actually appreciated that she would take the time to do that, but I also know that it wasn't only out of the goodness of her heart. I'm sure part of it was driven by bitterness and wanting to blow up his spot, so to speak. She said he was a pathological liar. I could tell she was hurting badly just by the way she wrote about the situation.

In happier dating news, I'm still seeing the long-distance guy and I really like him. Just wish he lived closer! I also went on a first date with someone yesterday who seems really nice and is easy to talk to. He asked me out again, but I'm not sure what I want to do. He's OK looking but I'm not sure about the level of attraction.

Both of these guys seem really nice but, like I said, I'm so suspicious now!
Originally Posted by ursula
How are things on the Ursula front?? In reference to the cheater, don't let him cloud your judgment of other guys. Unfortunately there's always a cheater somewhere, but I've recently learned that if I'm constantly on defense about a guy, I kind of ruin it for myself by going through the suspect mentality- what if______? or what if ______?? I'm learning to take things literally one day at a time and it's so much easier that way. We have a tendency to want to plan every move the guy will make because we've been let down so many times. I've slipped up twice already with the guy I'm talking to, making generalized statements and assuming he's just like the rest and both times he's proved me wrong. I'm rambling. but my point is, get rid of the suspect mentality or it'll keep getting in the way.
25", hennahead, CO, goal: hip
Have you heard from him???
Originally Posted by CoCoLoCks
Nope. another one bites the dust. It's obviously me. What else do these guys have in common...
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Wow that really makes me mad. Maybe it's just a freak occurrence and something is keeping him from calling. How did your conversation end with him yesterday?
25", hennahead, CO, goal: hip
I have a friend that's been cheated on a few times and she suspects every guy she dates
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Wow that really makes me mad. Maybe it's just a freak occurrence and something is keeping him from calling. How did your conversation end with him yesterday?
Originally Posted by CoCoLoCks
Well...he asked me out for a drink yesterday...but text he was falling asleep around 11 and said cam we just meet tomorrow. I said ok...we decided on 7. I text good morning sleepy head...around 10....and he said good morning....that was it
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
I'm sorry goddess... I know it sucks. I really don't understand the freaking blow off mentality... at least have the decency to let me know upfront if you've made the decision to pursue other options. I wanna know why he just straight up chose not to contact you at all.
texascurly likes this.
25", hennahead, CO, goal: hip
So what I've decided is that I am not supposed to be happy....in anything that I do....when I try...I inevitably get disappointed and feel worse than before. I need to just accept that...stop trying...I am pretty comfy on my couch with my kindle..remote..and cat...so that is where I'll stay
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
So I went to the bar with my girlfriend and listened to her decidedly better date. Even gave her advice. Ironic..huh?
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
I'm talking to this guy on OKCupid, and his name is Anthony, so I made a Billy Joel reference (because I sing "Movin' Out" to my nephew Anthony ALL the time...have been since he was two days old! "Anthony works at the grocery store...saving his pennies for some day...") and he shot back about how his friends would always tease him about working too hard and "saving his penny's for some day."

And, two more times, he mentioned "penny's."

LOVE LOVE LOVE a guy who can quote Billy Joel with me.

But penny's=pennies...no!

Ugh.

I feel like a snob. I really do. What if Anthony is The One?
Lol....I know what u mean...certain grammar and spelling issues drive me nuts. Maybe this is just one thing....maybe all his other grammar stuff will be fine. And no one is perfect
________________________
http://public.fotki.com/curlygirl1978/

Back on Cones,so now my routine is,wash with Deva No-Poo every other day or so. Occasionally use 365 sulfate free,maybe use low sulfate shampoo mixed with conditioner once every two weeks are longer. I condition with Aussie Moist or HEHH. I style with a little GF TN,and finish up with tons of GN Pure Clean Smoothing Cream. No frizz...slippy, happy hair.
Wow that really makes me mad. Maybe it's just a freak occurrence and something is keeping him from calling. How did your conversation end with him yesterday?
Originally Posted by CoCoLoCks
Well...he asked me out for a drink yesterday...but text he was falling asleep around 11 and said cam we just meet tomorrow. I said ok...we decided on 7. I text good morning sleepy head...around 10....and he said good morning....that was it
Originally Posted by GoddessCurls
Wow what a move! I'm sorry I don't understand the brush off at all. I was just talking to my guy friend about this and telling him "you'd be amazed at the positive response you'd get just by saying 'hey, I'm not that into this but it was great to meet you'". At least there's an element of respect involved with that.

NEXT
ursula and texascurly like this.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
So what I've decided is that I am not supposed to be happy....in anything that I do....when I try...I inevitably get disappointed and feel worse than before. I need to just accept that...stop trying...I am pretty comfy on my couch with my kindle..remote..and cat...so that is where I'll stay
Originally Posted by GoddessCurls
I really don't think your assumption is correct. I think because of how jacked up the world is, some of us have to kiss 11000000000093348902348 frogs to reach the prince (you and I being two of those people). I know exactly how you feel though. I've already found myself getting stressed out over Steve- we're at the few weeks mark when the guy either shows his true colors or just drops me for no reason, so I'm sitting here basically waiting for the other shoe to drop even though that's a crappy way to live. And honestly, if things don't work out with him, I'll probably have a nervous breakdown and just quit looking and expecting altogether. I honestly don't have enough heart left to start over with someone else...period.
25", hennahead, CO, goal: hip
So what I've decided is that I am not supposed to be happy....in anything that I do....when I try...I inevitably get disappointed and feel worse than before. I need to just accept that...stop trying...I am pretty comfy on my couch with my kindle..remote..and cat...so that is where I'll stay
Originally Posted by GoddessCurls
I really don't think your assumption is correct. I think because of how jacked up the world is, some of us have to kiss 11000000000093348902348 frogs to reach the prince (you and I being two of those people). I know exactly how you feel though. I've already found myself getting stressed out over Steve- we're at the few weeks mark when the guy either shows his true colors or just drops me for no reason, so I'm sitting here basically waiting for the other shoe to drop even though that's a crappy way to live. And honestly, if things don't work out with him, I'll probably have a nervous breakdown and just quit looking and expecting altogether. I honestly don't have enough heart left to start over with someone else...period.
Originally Posted by CoCoLoCks
Yeah, I don't know that the solution is. I agree with CoCo about the frog thing but I also agree that it can be so exhausting and upsetting.

Goddess: you are supposed to be happy! I do believe the right guy will come along for you but it sucks that there are always so many wrong ones in the way!

CoCo, I will be crossing my fingers for you and Steve. But it worries me that you have so much invested in him so soon. It might be too early to know if he's a frog or a prince, so I really hope you won't have a nervous breakdown if things don't work out. But I do hope it works out.
In search of a lost signature...
How are things on the Ursula front?? In reference to the cheater, don't let him cloud your judgment of other guys. Unfortunately there's always a cheater somewhere, but I've recently learned that if I'm constantly on defense about a guy, I kind of ruin it for myself by going through the suspect mentality- what if______? or what if ______?? I'm learning to take things literally one day at a time and it's so much easier that way. We have a tendency to want to plan every move the guy will make because we've been let down so many times. I've slipped up twice already with the guy I'm talking to, making generalized statements and assuming he's just like the rest and both times he's proved me wrong. I'm rambling. but my point is, get rid of the suspect mentality or it'll keep getting in the way.
Originally Posted by CoCoLoCks
Things are good on the Ursula front! I went on a date last night with a nice guy but it was really just one date. Even though it was a good date, I don't think we'll do it again, because 1) he was younger and I have a hard time taking younger men seriously, 2) he was really good looking but for some reason I wasn't really that attracted, 3) he was slightly awkward and nervous, etc.

I have to stop going out with these young men. There was another younger guy I went out with once, and it was fun, but I just kept feeling so old next to him. I don't know why. He was mature, I'm immature, I look young for my age--there was no obvious reason why I should have had such a hard time with the age difference, but I did. And he's been texting me a lot. I don't know what to say to him.

I still have the 2 very good prospects I mentioned above. One long distance one I like very much. We've been out 3 times and we're going out again next weekend. And then a local one I've been out with once but we also have plans to go out again. Like I said above, neither one is physically what I would normally consider really attractive, but the attraction is definitely there for the long distance one and maybe for the other. I probably won't know until I kiss him! But since the idea of kissing him isn't unappealing, I think that's a good sign!
In search of a lost signature...

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