Am I the only one that get's crapped on?

osocristie
Guest
Posts: n/a
If you feel that you are always being crapped on by your friends, then maybe you need new friends, or maybe you need to analyze yourself. Just words of wisdom, no snark intended.
Originally Posted by g-stringranny
g-stringranny was on a roll yesterday, imparting wisdom all over. I suggest you pay attention.
Originally Posted by NetG
I have learned my lesson. Thank you all so very much! I am listening.
Why would the reception be more important than the wedding.

I want the whole event not just half of the events.
Originally Posted by osocristie
Oddly enough, this woman's wedding isn't about what you want. Clearly your relationship with the groom is horrid, so the fact that you would want to go to the wedding at all (which is NOT just a cool social event, it's ALSO a celebration of their relationship, which you don't seem to be a big fan of) is kind of a mystery to me.

Keep in mind that because of your horrid relationship with the groom, he probably didn't want you at the wedding at all, and your friend went to bat for you and compromised, inviting you to the ceremony but not the reception. (I do, also, wonder how you found out that you were only invited to one and not the other, and how the bride to be responded when you asked her about it, but since you've evaded those questions so far, I don't expect you to clarify.) If that's not good enough for you, then don't go. Accept that your good friend is in a partnership, and that means she has to consider someone else when she makes plans. Don't expect invitations to dinner parties as their house after they're married, either.
Originally Posted by MichelleBFT

2 of our mutual friends called me to tell me that they were invited to the reception. The bride told me I was only invited to the ceremony with her own mouth. When I asked her about it (Like I said above) she asked me why I thought the reception was more important than the wedding ceremony.
I believe if I am invited to one, I should be invited to all.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a tyrant that is going to stand up in the middle of the dance floor and scream how much I hat the groom. Never that! You all have painted me out to be a monster. Ewwww. He and I just have words from time ti time, but I do have anough sense not to entertain his mess at a wedding. Duhh!!!!
Originally Posted by osocristie
Red: She was clearly dodging the question, probably because the answer may hurt your feelings. Perhaps what we've suggested is true, that her husband doesn't want you there at all. She probably bargained him up to letting you come to the ceremony.

Blue: You say that, because honestly, who's going to say differently? And perhaps you're telling the truth. But perhaps she and he husband don't agree. Perhaps that IS their concern, one informed by your behavior in the past. I'm not saying it's so, I'm just saying based on what you've said here, it's possible THEY think you'd make a scene. I don't know you, but they do.

But I maintain that if it's so offensive to you that you were invited to the ceremony and not the reception, then don't go. Clearly, given your bad relationship with the groom, your relationship with her is going to change. Sometimes you just have to accept that.
"And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
Stolen.
Given oso's badmouthing the husband on this thread, I'm not the least bit surprised she's not invited to the reception.

Let me guess - in the whole group of friends, you're the one with the big problem with him, and you make him uncomfortable?

Sounds to me like having you at the reception would be crapping on him, so your friend compromised and got him to agree to having you at their ceremony. Then you crapped on your friend by saying you wouldn't honor their marriage if you didn't get free food and a party, where you didn't get along with one of the guests of honor.
Originally Posted by NetG

I am sorry for badmouthing her husband to be. Can you help me with a nicer way to say that he is verbally abusive to me as well as her from no reason? He does that to most of her friends, that is why of the 60 people invited to her shower only 20 showed. Hmmm

And she is totally known for rolling up at other people's receptions with let's seeee.....6 people in tow and one gift! I have seen her and her family do it mutiple times. So yes, as many times as she has slept over at my house, ate my food, and rode in my car, I think it deserves a thank you by allowing me to attend her reception. But many of you have differing opinions, so I guess we agree to disagree.
Originally Posted by osocristie
1) If he's as verbally abusive to say he is, then why do you want to be a part of the wedding at all? It's clear you don't want to celebrate your friend's relationship with this guy. Let it go.

2) You seem to be very invested in a tit-for-tat friendship. What's up with that?
"And politically correct is the worst term, not just because it’s dismissive, but because it narrows down the whole social justice spectrum to this idea that it’s about being polite instead of about dismantling the oppressive social structure of power.
Fun Fact: When you actively avoid being “PC,” you’re not being forward-thinking or unique. You’re buying into systems of oppression that have existed since before you were even born, and you’re keeping those systems in place."
Stolen.
The bride told me I was only invited to the ceremony with her own mouth. When I asked her about it (Like I said above) she asked me why I thought the reception was more important than the wedding ceremony.
I believe if I am invited to one, I should be invited to all.
How did the rest of the conversation go? I'm assuming it didn't just stop there. Did she give you a reason? Did you ask for one? When you told her you thought "if you're invited to one, you should be invited to all", what was her response?

I don't mean to keep harping on what was said, but if you are truly good friends, there's more to the conversation than what you're telling us. Knowing what was said may give some insight.
Guide18
Guest
Posts: n/a
I would guess that you weren't invited because you and the groom don't get along. Doesn't matter what the reason is for the bad feelings, they are there, that's all. I think it's pretty bad behavior to invite someone to a wedding but not the reception (this is just not done in my area). But you're not likely to be able to do anything to change that.

I would suggest staying away from the whole affair. And I am guessing that you are not likely to see much of this couple after the wedding, so i don't think you will have to worry about how to behave toward the bride or how to maintain the friendship -- it's pretty much over.
Maybe they don't want any drama at their wedding reception.
Originally Posted by RichardHead
Yep this is exactly why my cousins mom (divorced from uncle) wasn't invited to one of our family weddings. A lot of people thought it was wrong but there was sure to be drama between the new wife and ex wife and I don't blame them.
If you feel that you are always being crapped on by your friends, then maybe you need new friends, or maybe you need to analyze yourself. Just words of wisdom, no snark intended.
Originally Posted by g-stringranny
I agree.
I am sorry for badmouthing her husband to be. Can you help me with a nicer way to say that he is verbally abusive to me as well as her from no reason? He does that to most of her friends, that is why of the 60 people invited to her shower only 20 showed. Hmmm

And she is totally known for rolling up at other people's receptions with let's seeee.....6 people in tow and one gift! I have seen her and her family do it mutiple times. So yes, as many times as she has slept over at my house, ate my food, and rode in my car, I think it deserves a thank you by allowing me to attend her reception. But many of you have differing opinions, so I guess we agree to disagree.
Originally Posted by osocristie

I know you're angry and hurt right now. However, if the hostility you show toward them in your posts shows toward them in real life (even if you try to keep it to yourself) that's a good reason you may not be invited to the reception.

If he is abusive, guaranteed - he's going to try to keep her from anyone who would call him on it. And you have a choice to make now - try to show her you still want her in your life, knowing she has what you think is a bad relationship, do NOT badmouth him, but show her you care about and love her, and be there to support her when things fall apart - or just get away from the drama.

If he's not abusive, and you've just seen him at bad moments - it may be that your perception is off, and the friend is upset you won't give him another chance. And of course he hates that you don't like him.

I do think it's wrong to invite you to the wedding and not reception, but posters here have said that their churches announce weddings for anyone who wants to attend, so maybe in her world that's not as weird as it seems to me. Also, as I said earlier - it was most likely a compromise.


From your posts, I get the impression you're probably a "fixer." That's the term I use to describe myself, and a tendency I am trying to stop. In non-romantic relationships I often find myself drawn to those who are hurting inside, and a mess. Usually they don't realize this about themselves though, and usually it just gets ugly. You can't fix other people, you can only be there to support them when they choose themselves. Every year, I get closer to NOT letting myself be hurt and emotionally drawn in by people like that. It sounds like you may be at a point you need to take a stand and start caring for yourself emotionally, instead of others. Believe me, it feels GOOD to do!
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla

But at least the pews never attend yoga!
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 293
I thought this thread was about something else, but relating to the topic. No, bad things like that dont happen to me.
I thought this thread was about something else...
Originally Posted by boarderhopper
You really need to grow up.
< member since 2006. No idea where 1969 came from.
I thought this thread was about something else...
Originally Posted by boarderhopper
You really need to grow up.
Originally Posted by eche428
ITA
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 293
I thought this thread was about something else...
Originally Posted by boarderhopper
You really need to grow up.
Originally Posted by eche428
There is no way you joined this website in 1969. That was before the internet was invented.
Banned
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
You into that & golden showers as well, eh?
I thought this thread was about something else...
Originally Posted by boarderhopper
You really need to grow up.
Originally Posted by eche428
There is no way you joined this website in 1969. That was before the internet was invented.
Originally Posted by boarderhopper
Yeh, talk to the web programmer. It assigned that random date to me and some others on here. Why do you care? (BTW I wasn't invented until after 1969.)
< member since 2006. No idea where 1969 came from.

Last edited by eche428; 08-19-2008 at 07:54 PM.
I thought this thread was about something else...
Originally Posted by boarderhopper
You really need to grow up.
Originally Posted by eche428
There is no way you joined this website in 1969. That was before the internet was invented.
Originally Posted by boarderhopper
The internet has been around for a lot longer than you think...
Healing Women - Please help.
now that you know you are not wanted at the reception you aren't still bothering her about it are you ? one of two things can happen if you are 1) she will tell you to take a flying leap, bye bye friendship (if that is what it is ) 2) she will invite you just to get you off her back . Why would you want to be somewhere you are not wanted ?
I would not like any of those, would you ?

national anthem for self-pity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zawR7VYNdNg
If you feel that you are always being crapped on by your friends, then maybe you need new friends, or maybe you need to analyze yourself. Just words of wisdom, no snark intended.
Originally Posted by g-stringranny
g-stringranny was on a roll yesterday, imparting wisdom all over. I suggest you pay attention.
Originally Posted by NetG
Well, thank you. When are you coming to Phoenix, so we can get together? You're not that far away & I know your brother lives in Chandler. I'd love to meet you face to face.
AKA lotsawaves
AKA new2curls
Well, thank you. When are you coming to Phoenix, so we can get together? You're not that far away & I know your brother lives in Chandler. I'd love to meet you face to face.
Originally Posted by g-stringranny
Hopefully I'll be there September 19 for a concert. Maybe dinner beforehand. My friend Keaton has a free show!
The pews never miss a sermon but that doesn't get them one step closer to Heaven.
-Speckla

But at least the pews never attend yoga!
That would be great. Let's plan on getting together. I'll put it on my calendar. I'll pm you with my # so we can discuss this further.
AKA lotsawaves
AKA new2curls

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:43 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com