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Old 10-20-2008, 04:41 PM   #1
 
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Thumbs down LiTTle girls SiTTing on a grown Man's lap...Is this acceptable to you?

Father, uncle, stepfather, Grandfather, family friend...

Do/would you allow your daughter to sit on a mans lap?

I think it is inappropriate when a girl reaches a certain age to sit on a man's lap. That's the way I was raised. Infant, toddler..Ok but as she is getting older I dont think it is right.
Just to add: My Ex husband is a wonderful dad. This is just a personal belief that I have grown up with Waaay before I even had children. This has absolutely nothing to do with him.
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Old 10-20-2008, 04:44 PM   #2
 
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I would like to think if I had a daughter I would be fine with her sitting in her dad's lap...I'd say I made a really poor choice in a husband if that wasn't ok. I remember sitting in my dad's lap watching movies or tv shows growing up.
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Old 10-20-2008, 04:54 PM   #3
 
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Dad's lap is OK. Anyone else is suspect.
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Old 10-20-2008, 04:56 PM   #4
 
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maybe it's inappropriate when they're 10-12 years old... but they should start taking an interest in sitting in the laps of boys their own age at that point anyway.
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Old 10-20-2008, 04:59 PM   #5
 
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I remember still wanting to sit in my grandpa's lap when i was about 8 or 9, but he'd usually kick me off b/c I got too heavy. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it though. I think it's kind of sad that we live in a society that makes us question any physical contact.
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Old 10-20-2008, 05:03 PM   #6
 
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In my family, Dad and Grandpa are fine. We aren't touchy feely people.
I have no problem with my 13 year old daughter sitting on her father's lap. There's nothing lecherous or disgusting about a father's appropriate love for his daughter, or a daughter's hero-worship love for her father.
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Old 10-20-2008, 05:05 PM   #7
 
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There is a point when a girl will decide that she doesn't feel comfortable doing this. Many girls, when they hit puberty and begin to develop, are even uncomfortable hugging adults male or female. I would assume that this same awkwardness goes with lap-sitting. Point is, the stopping age should be up to the child. For an adult male OR female to say, "Sitting on my lap is no longer appropriate" makes me wonder what he/she is thinking...
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Last edited by LikeAustralia; 10-20-2008 at 05:06 PM. Reason: correction
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Old 10-20-2008, 05:15 PM   #8
 
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I agree with bailey and SydneyCurl. I think it is sad (and unfair) that some people assume all men are pedophiles, especially if they seem to have an interest in children that are not their own, like nieces and nephews, etc.

Some men, just like some women, do not like children - period, but some do. I think it is best to trust your gut, obviously, and if someone gives you a creepy vibe, then by all means keep your children (male and female!!!) away from that person. But just to make a blanket statement about men - I think that's sad.

PS: I don't mean this toward you, Zaria. I understand where you are coming from and that was the way you were raised. I'm just addressing the question at hand and the overall issues and not your personal beliefs so much.
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Old 10-20-2008, 05:19 PM   #9
 
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My mom trusted no one.

I trust my husband. No one else.

So I guess I agree with RCW.
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:23 PM   #10
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynaminbear View Post
..... There's nothing lecherous or disgusting about a father's appropriate love for his daughter, or a daughter's hero-worship love for her father.


I agree. Dad or grandpa are fine.
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:32 PM   #11
 
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I guess my assumption would be that a little girl would be taught "right touch" vs. "wrong touch" as soon as she's old enough to understand. Kids aren't stupid. If a stranger or someone she barely knows suggests she sit in their lap, she should adamantly refuse. I'm not saying parents should just trust that their little kid will automatically know the difference, but it shouldn't be "NEVER SIT ON A MAN'S LAP." That sets up all sorts of weird issues, I think.
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:35 PM   #12
 
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Dad and maybe grandpa would be fine; anyone else would not--uncle, stepdad, etc. I say maybe grandpa because I think that growing up with 5 sisters, I would know if there was something weird about my dad. I couldn't be sure about a paternal grandpa.
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:36 PM   #13
 
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I don't have some standing rule in my house about sitting on laps, but if someone was requesting that my child sit on their lap, I would definitely be suspicious.
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:45 PM   #14
 
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I see nothing wrong with a child sitting in their father or grandfather's lap, that's fine. But uncles or anything beyond that is just a little weird.

I mean, I'm almost 17, so I obviously don't still sit in my dad's lap, I mean I do occasionally sit in the same chair as him when I refuse to move out of it. I'd probably hurt him if I did actually sit on his lap though, being over 120 pounds...
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:47 PM   #15
 
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Dad, grandpa are fine. My uncles all had their own kids, so they probably would have been fine too. I had a few cousins who were significantly older than me, and I think I used to pretty much use them as human jungle gyms.

I'll raise my children to discern good touch and bad touch, and keep an eye on them to make sure that everything is ok, but I don't really think my own father is a pedophile.

Ironically enough, I was sad last week and I happened to be at home. I walked upstairs and climbed into my mom's lap!!!
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Old 10-20-2008, 06:55 PM   #16
 
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What's with all the mistrust of uncles? Is there something dirty about your brothers, or brothers-in-law, holding your children?
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Old 10-20-2008, 07:18 PM   #17
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tantrum View Post
What's with all the mistrust of uncles? Is there something dirty about your brothers, or brothers-in-law, holding your children?
That's what I was thinking. Do you not trust your own brother?
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Old 10-20-2008, 07:29 PM   #18
 
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I come from an old school southern family and lap sitting is considered inappropriate if the man is not your father. That includes uncles, play uncles, friends, step fathers amoung others
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Old 10-20-2008, 07:29 PM   #19
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tantrum View Post
What's with all the mistrust of uncles? Is there something dirty about your brothers, or brothers-in-law, holding your children?
that's what i was wondering. i've sat on my uncles' laps before and there was nothing wrong or disgusting about it.
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Old 10-20-2008, 07:32 PM   #20
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gekko422 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by tantrum View Post
What's with all the mistrust of uncles? Is there something dirty about your brothers, or brothers-in-law, holding your children?
That's what I was thinking. Do you not trust your own brother?
or Santa? Do you not trust Mall-Santa??

Very few men are perverts. Laps are built for kids and fun stories. I hate that things like this are suspect. Kids know when they're too old to do that, it's up to us to listen and respect that, and not force things they're not comfortable with. Whether it's sitting in Uncle Olaf's lap, or kissing Aunt Betty on the lips.
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