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Old 11-09-2008, 03:11 PM   #21
 
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How old is this child she speaks of??


My stepmother made a snide remark that ticked everyone off for a few months to her brother and SIL. Her SIL announced (happily) that she was preggo again. She just had a baby 6 months ago. My stepmom said....."Ohhh. Was this planned?" Very rude.
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Old 11-09-2008, 03:55 PM   #22
 
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Every child is a blessing, no matter the circumstances.
I wonder if your mom was speaking out of the hopelessness she must be feeling over your brother's situation.
Even when my parents and grandparents weren't happy with each pregnancy, when each child came they were besides themselves with happiness. My parents have 7 grandkids now and they keep their hearts so full of joy.
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Old 11-09-2008, 05:48 PM   #23
 
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that's so wrong. so sorry. BIG BIG hugs. i know it hurts.

is your gp the bro that you mention going through the divorce with the kids?

it's so hard when parents give the ones trying a hard time and let the ones that aren't living up to their full potential get away with murder....ah.

well you're little girl is so sweet...live your life!! you've got a beautiful daughter and a wonderful hubby so focus on that and try to ignore your mom's mean comments.

you always help everyone else here i wish there was more i could say. one thing that works for me when the conversation is going south is to just end the conversation. i look at it like this...i'm going to feel kind of crappy either way so i can either (a) stay on the phone and listen to things that make me feel bad or (b) get off the phone and put distance and be made to feel bad about that. i can deal with option b more easily
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Old 11-09-2008, 05:52 PM   #24
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grrr...growl....grump....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...tha t makes me very angry for you WileE.

*hugs*

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Old 11-09-2008, 06:09 PM   #25
 
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You know, when I was pregnant with E, my mom said that she hoped that I wasn't pregnant with a girl...just because of all of the teen/hormonal crap that they deal with, she told me to my face that she didn't think that I could handle it. Told me on more than one occassion, too.
Before we found out that E was a girl, I told her that she really needed to stop saying that stuff about me and my having a girl; she needed to have faith that I was going to do my best no matter what. She actually apologized and then stopped saying stuff.

Oh, how BADLY I wanted to say, "Yeah, with how ****ed up *I* am, you think YOU did a good job with me?!" But I didn't. Sometimes, you just gotta turn the other cheek.

((HUGS)) Wile.
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Old 11-09-2008, 08:16 PM   #26
 
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blaaah. sorry to hear she's being a pain.
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Old 11-09-2008, 09:59 PM   #27
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagocurly78 View Post
How old is this child she speaks of??


My stepmother made a snide remark that ticked everyone off for a few months to her brother and SIL. Her SIL announced (happily) that she was preggo again. She just had a baby 6 months ago. My stepmom said....."Ohhh. Was this planned?" Very rude.
When I told my mother I was going to have another baby, (our 3rd), the very first thing she said was, "You need to get yout tubes tied." And she walked away from me. And she wonders why she is always the last to know anything about me.

WileE, I am sorry. Not exactly sure what is going on, (I am pretty new still, not sure if you talked about it in the past) but that is awful.
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Old 11-09-2008, 10:06 PM   #28
 
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0

Last edited by curlinicator; 02-02-2013 at 10:50 AM.
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Old 11-09-2008, 10:23 PM   #29
 
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Wile, sometimes you have to cut the ties, even when they are family. I know it's hard, but life is too short to go thru the hurt & stress. I don't know you in IRL, but knowing you here I feel you are a good person. I'm sure you are also a good Mom. Your Mom has the problem & she is projecting it on you. You have a good husband & child. Don't let her take away the enjoyment of your life.

My relationship with my Mom is also a struggle. Thankfully, she lives far away from me. She called me yesterday & we actually had a civil conversation. She didn't bring up the election or religion. If she ever critizied me as a Mother, I think we would be done. It would be hard, because she is my Mother, but if it was unwarranted then I would feel she didn't have my best interests at heart.

I remember when I was going thru my divorce. I called her to let her know I was ending a 20 year marriage & I needed her emotional support. She said nothing surprised her after my sister ended her 18 year marriage. It was all about her. She went on & on about how that affected her. She wasn't there for me at all. I've realized that she isn't the ideal Mother. I put my efforts & thoughts into my children. Yes, it hurts that my Mom isn't who I need, but I have found I have to let it go & get on with my life.
I have to do what is best for me & my family. I will never let her take that away from me.
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Old 11-10-2008, 06:32 AM   #30
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Thanks everyone for your experiences & insight...keep 'em comin'! It has helped me to get some validation to all that's been going on. Much of what you all said is definitely spot on & makes a lot of sense. Thankfully I can hold my own when I need to. I most definitely have to do it for my own family...
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Old 11-10-2008, 07:06 AM   #31
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Old 11-10-2008, 10:13 AM   #32
 
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I cannot believe she said that. I'm sorry, WileE.
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Old 11-10-2008, 10:54 AM   #33
 
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<<HUGS>>
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Old 11-10-2008, 11:53 AM   #34
 
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More hugs...
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Old 11-10-2008, 01:42 PM   #35
 
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I'm sorry that your folks said that.

As hard as it is to do, don't take it personally becasue the words are 100% about them and have little or nothing to actually do with you.

My folks are in their 70s too and sometimes they are very hard to take and say ythings that they shouldn't. I just get off the phone and call back later hoping for a better mood.
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