How to deal with a REALLY painful break up?

any advice? i'm dying over here
3B~Fine, porus, and really long
HG's~Plopping and Homemade FSG!! Thank you BB
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"Your head is like a crown on you.
It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
I am captured by your flowing curls."
Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)
Honestly, there's now way to "deal." I've learned that you just have to keep going.
Sorry to hear about your breakout...

Did you break up with the older guy?
Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
Sorry to hear about your breakout...

Did you break up with the older guy?
Originally Posted by Windflower

yep
3B~Fine, porus, and really long
HG's~Plopping and Homemade FSG!! Thank you BB
Proud To Be Egyptian!
"Your head is like a crown on you.
It is as beautiful as Mount Carmel.
Your hair is as smooth as purple silk.
I am captured by your flowing curls."
Song of Solomon 7:5 (NIRV)
Sorry I WISH there was a potion to make the pain go away, but there isn't. The cliche is true, time heals all wounds.
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
Unfortunately, no matter all the ways your brain can rationalize a break-up, it never really helps your heart feel any better. And there's no specified amount of time either. I'm sorry.
Just do things that make you feel good. Cry if you want to, as much as you want to, but once you've done that, occupy your time with something you love. It's good to keep the mind from being idle when you're dealing with a break-up.

Last edited by Saria; 01-10-2009 at 03:39 PM.
any advice? i'm dying over here
Originally Posted by egyptiancurls89
So, so sorry you're hurting. That really sucks. I only had one bad, heartbreaking breakup. It hurt so bad for a long time but I felt much better after taking a vacation by myself. Is that a possiblity? Other than that, allow yourself to mourn the relationship and spend some quality time with your girlfriends. Keep busy. Read a lot. Take up running (the endorphins give you some relief from the trauma of the breakup). Keep busy. When you're feeling really bad, just tell yourself that it will get better, 'cause it will.
3a/medium texture/normal porosity
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,530
I Googled "break ups" and found some online advice which helped me when I went through it. And a lot of people on NC were very supportive.

And....I spent more time with one of my dogs, the one who most enjoys sleeping beside me.

I hope you're okay
We are here for you.
And most of us have been thru it. Some on both sides.
Hurts being broken up with and hurts ending it sometimes with someone.

Just remember you will always have friends and family and you won't ever be alone.
Keeping busy was key for me.
Sorry you're sad and hurting. My only advice is to appreciate the lessons you might have learned from this person/relationship but realize things happen for a reason, and better things await you.

Just don't rush things if you don't feel like it, surround yourself with loved ones and take each day at a time.
Don't let your heart be broken. Let it love.
My grandmother always said "the best way to get over a man is to get under another."

Not the best advice, however, I can see where she was coming from. You have to distract yourself. A good book, a massage, making over your bedroom (for your new, future lover, hehe), a movie... even if it makes you sob, it's less tears you have for DUDE.

Time and self-care, egyptiancurls. Unfortunately there's no magic pill to take. God I wish there was!!!
Discover the art of distraction and a fabulous bottle of wine.
2b/3a.
I am sorry that you're hurting. It's true, time heals all wounds and keep on keepin' on.

((hugs))
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
My grandmother always said "the best way to get over a man is to get under another."

Not the best advice, however, I can see where she was coming from. You have to distract yourself. A good book, a massage, making over your bedroom (for your new, future lover, hehe), a movie... even if it makes you sob, it's less tears you have for DUDE.

Time and self-care, egyptiancurls. Unfortunately there's no magic pill to take. God I wish there was!!!
Originally Posted by meryn

I think curlylew said it best...we are here for you! His loss...(((hugs)))
My grandmother always said "the best way to get over a man is to get under another."

Not the best advice, however, I can see where she was coming from. You have to distract yourself.
Originally Posted by meryn
to be honest, i don't think i was over Drew until last weekend with Cameron. and it will be YEARS before i am completely over Drew. if i'm really lucky, 6 more months of madly passionate sex with Cam will have me saying "drew who"...

My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
I find the best way is to cry it out then start to organize your life to keep busy. Clean/organize your living space. Set out some health, fitness and life goals. Find something to look forward too.

Get back into a routine that doesn't involve him. Change the ring tone on your cell phone so that when it rings it doesn't remind you of him. Hide reminders. Call friends/family and confess you are sad and need help getting through it.

Another thing that has helped me before is to make a list of what you don't want in a boyfriend. One that includes all the bad or negative stuff he did. Only start the sentences with " I really want a boyfriend who... "For examples
I really want a boyfriend who never calls on time
I really want a boyfriend who leaves my apartment messy.
I really want a boyfriend who breaks my heart.
Sounds silly but reading it when you miss him will remind you of all the things you won't miss about him and all the things that you really don't want in your next boyfriend.
Sorry you're hurting so...surround yourself with nurturing people and do things to nurture yourself--a bubble bath, facial, a massage can do wonders for a stressed out body and heart. Take care...
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to be honest, i don't think i was over Drew until last weekend with Cameron. and it will be YEARS before i am completely over Drew. if i'm really lucky, 6 more months of madly passionate sex with Cam will have me saying "drew who"...

Originally Posted by rouquinne


In my heart and thoughts, A.
I agree that it helps a lot to keep busy and do things you enjoy. This way you can think to yourself, "who needs men? Life is fun with OR without them."

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