If someone classified you average looking

hipchick · 01-22-2009, 06:01 PM

would you be offended? I think my youth made me more attractive and now as time has passed I have become more average looking. Is it okay to you to be considered average looking? What exactly is average looking? I think average is kind of flexible as if you put in the mix nice clothes, good grooming and confidence and it can bump you up to a higher level. It still seems even in the modern age there is much pressure on women to be attractive and a woman's value and status is still linked to the amount of beauty she possesses. That is not the case with all people but I do think our world has become more shallow.

Aphro-Deeziac · 01-22-2009, 06:19 PM

most people are average looking. very few people are truly ugly or truly beautiful in my opinion.

so being called average looking wouldnt offend me

RedCatWaves · 01-22-2009, 06:27 PM

Average is a big bell curve. Very few on the ugly and beautiful ends. Even those on the beautiful end of the spectrum don't get to stay there forever. We all end up ugly in the end.

That said, I do think there are a lot of things one can do through grooming to get more towards the beautiful end.

Fuschia Dreams · 01-22-2009, 06:35 PM

It's all subjective, right? (or at least I hope)

Lotsawaves · 01-22-2009, 06:40 PM

This reminds me of 2 sisters I met when I was 16. They were cousins of one of my friends & they were a year apart. One was drop dead gorgeous & the other one was average. The gorgeous one didn't feel she had to work for anything, so her attitude & personality actually made her less attractive. The more average looking sister had a great sense of humour & everyone wanted to be around her. They were visiting for the Summer & the average one had more boys asking her out.

I have met men that at 1st I wasn't attracted to, but once we talked & his personality came out I was very attracted. I think that's why I can't do the online dating. Pictures are not the true self of the real person.

Hey, I love Richard Dreyfus. Most people would say he is average, but his personality (in his movies) makes him hot to me.

Did someone say you were just average?

hipchick · 01-22-2009, 06:53 PM

Well they didn't exacty say I was average. I was having a downer looks day and they said most people are average and I perceived that to mean I was average. But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and average is okay I suppose. We really need to have a steady, strong, positive sense of self as our looks do keep changing.

CurlyEyes · 01-22-2009, 06:55 PM

If someone classified me as average-looking, I'd punch them in the face.

Not because I don't agree (most people are average, that's why it's called average) but because that's really rude.

I think that average-looking's a really broad range; one person's idea of average is gorgeous to someone else.

chicagocurly78 · 01-22-2009, 07:00 PM

Depends on how it was said. I remember feeling crappy after a guy I really liked told me I was the average girl- next-door. He said that to me right after he described his best friend's girlfriend - she was Scarlett Johannessen's (sp) long lost twin.

MimsTX · 01-22-2009, 07:07 PM

Not everyone can be 'gorgeous'. It's the average people that sets them apart

I'd say I'm quite average looking, and I'm perfectly fine with it, but I can see how going from above average to average would come as a bit of a shock to someone.

The person's comment didn't sound like they were calling you average to me though. I wouldn't worry about it too much. To the right person, even the most average woman is beautiful anyways

Lotsawaves · 01-22-2009, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicagocurly78

Depends on how it was said. I remember feeling crappy after a guy I really liked told me I was the average girl- next-door. He said that to me right after he described his best friend's girlfriend - she was Scarlett Johannessen's (sp) long lost twin.

Men are so into the looks & sex appeal at 1st, but these relationships usually don't last, because these women have no substance. I wouldn't worry about what these losers are attracted to.

Above average looks don't usually keep a relationship together. It has more to do with who you & he are in the inside.

Lotsawaves · 01-22-2009, 07:14 PM

I had used my computer to hook up one of my friends for a date from AOL personals. com. She wanted me to go with her. The guy decided he would bring his cousin along so I wouldn't be the 3rd wheel. He emailed me a pic of him & I wasn't interested at all. When we met & talked I was really interested in him. We were together for 3 years. Looks are 50% & personality is 50%.

CGNYC · 01-22-2009, 07:22 PM

I don't think I'd really value the opinion of someone who just up and decided to "classify" my looks (or anything else) in any way. It's one thing for someone to pay you a compliment but quite another to just offer up the info, "Oh, btw, you're average, hth!" Who does that.

However, it sounds like you were fishing for compliments and no one took the bait. Maybe they didn't know what you needed to hear or maybe "hey, most people are average" sounded reassuring in their head. Or maybe they are like me and they just don't react well to fishing. If you're honestly having a bad day and you need to hear something good about yourself, ask a GOOD friend and TELL them...hey, I need to hear somthing good! Even my cold, dead heart could come up with the right thing to say!

Sleigh · 01-22-2009, 07:23 PM

i was actually looking at images today for a marketing campain and was talking about average looking people.

nothing wrong with looking average - some people consider average to mean a 'commercial' look vs. exotic high fashion. average tends to be more approachable - and if someone in marketing says to you that they highed you for your looks because you were average - it's because you look approachable.

*takes a breath.*

to me there's a difference between average and ugly.

Lotsawaves · 01-22-2009, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CGNYC

I don't think I'd really value the opinion of someone who just up and decided to "classify" my looks (or anything else) in any way. It's one thing for someone to pay you a compliment but quite another to just offer up the info, "Oh, btw, you're average, hth!" Who does that.

However, it sounds like you were fishing for compliments and no one took the bait. Maybe they didn't know what you needed to hear or maybe "hey, most people are average" sounded reassuring in their head. Or maybe they are like me and they just don't react well to fishing. If you're honestly having a bad day and you need to hear something good about yourself, ask a GOOD friend and TELL them...hey, I need to hear somthing good! Even my cold, dead heart could come up with the right thing to say!

You know, I really hate to say this

, but ITA with you.

On another note, if you are insecure with your looks or maybe feel the need to be encouraged that you are above average, then your friends will probably not see you as above average.

CGNYC · 01-22-2009, 07:44 PM

Quote:

You know, I really hate to say this

, but ITA with you.

I know, I know. It's uncomfortable at first but they all come to the dark side sooner or later.

M2LRToo · 01-22-2009, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CGNYC

Quote:

You know, I really hate to say this

, but ITA with you.

I know, I know. It's uncomfortable at first but they all come to the dark side sooner or later.

Resistance is futile. I eventually caved.

Lotsawaves · 01-22-2009, 08:08 PM

I'm going to burn in hell.

sarah42 · 01-22-2009, 08:58 PM

Everyone wants to be thought of as better-than-average in looks. I would be a little hurt if someone said I was average-looking. Although if I'm honest with myself, I probably am. I like to think that I'm on the high end of average, and I try to put an effort into looking decent.

I love Lotsa's story about the two sisters. Even if someone is not movie-star gorgeous, they can surely make the most of what they have and cultivate their personal qualities to be very attractive to others.

rouquinne · 01-22-2009, 09:15 PM

if someone called me average, i'd be happy - but i think i'm grossly ugly, so there you go.

hipchick · 01-22-2009, 09:54 PM

I think the big issue around average being a negative is that it might mean that you are not "special" but simply ordinary. Of course we can be special in many other ways but I still think for women in our society beauty, femininity,value, power and status are all intertwined. The media unfortunately reinforces these connecting elements.