The New Black

Is it a matter of taste (i.e., opinion)? Is the standard universal? How do you know if you're good or bad? How can you improve?

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Amandacurls

I think the less slobbery the better. And if they actually know what they are doing with their tongue instead of just sticking it in your mouth. Also some people seem to have like fish lips and they just are kind of dead. Let me just say you know when you're kissing someone who kisses well, and you definitely know when they don't. Blech!

RedCatWaves

I'm sure it varies greatly by person as to their preferences. There are many different ways to kiss, and part of being a "good kisser" is knowing when to use which technique appropriately. A big panting sucking kiss might be appropriate during lovemaking, but not so much as a kiss goodbye in a public place.

M2LRToo

ITA

eche428

I think it's so subjective. What I might like you might hate. I will say that for me a BAD kiss is the one I got from one guy I dated then quickly dumped. He licked my face! Actually licked it like a dog would! All over licking, totally GROSS!!!

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pinksugar

I hate that. I've had a guy do something similar before. I went on one date with him and he felt it was okay to stick his sloppy tongue in my ear. YUCK!!!!! I never saw him again.

As others have said, I think it varies by person. I think I used to be a better kisser before I had braces. Now I'm not as into kissing as I was before. I can't wait to get these things off my teeth (my husband feels the same way about the braces).

violets

An ex boyfriend was a horrible kisser. His lips were hard. Or he would harden then to kiss me. Who knows...Awful!

kurls

I have had 2 horrible kisses in my life - both guys were real loose lips, a LOT of slobber, and made this SUCKING noise...it was so gross!!!

Current guy is not the best at kissing, but to me it doesnt matter because he is so sweet (and he tries) - so I excuse that.

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cympreni

I've only had 1 bad kisser. And boy was he BAD. First he pressed his face into mine, then stuck as much as his tongue as he could in my mouth. I don't know what he was doing with it after that, feeling my mouth up with his tongue, checking for cavities? After far too long, he finally withdrew his tongue for a moment, but didn't back off his face off for even a second so I could breathe!

RedCatWaves

I don't think I've encountered anyone who wasn't at least teachable. I was always picky about kissing back in my dating days though. I didn't just go kissing anyone. I had a certain criteria that had to be met...the man had to seem "kissable" to me before I would kiss him. I had many first dates where I avoided the goodnight kiss because I just couldn't bring myself to do so.

My hubby is an excellent kisser. Our first kiss was so electric that it was the best of my life. He did it just right. Just a tiny amount of tongue to suit the first-date occasion. It rocked my world. Unfortunately, we've never been able to recapture that first kiss, and we have tried hard.

Lotsawaves

My ex-husband was awful, because he would try to get creative with his tongue. He didn't try to stick it down my throat, which is bad, but he would dart it in and out of my mouth like a spear.

I think a bad kiss is when someone tries too hard to be creative. I love soft lips & a gentle tongue.

I'm feeling the need to be kissed right now.

TK*

You know you're a good kisser when 1.) after initially kissing someone, that person continues to want to kiss you 2.) you kiss your partner the way they WANT to be kissed, either by asking and doing it, or intuitively figuring out what they like yourself.

You know you're getting a good kiss when you feel it in your toes and fingertips, and leaves you hungry for more.

The WORST kisser I ever had was my first serious boyfriend in high school. He was such a dork. He always wanted to kiss me while I was laughing, once resulting in a visit to the dentist over a chipped tooth *rolls eyes*

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rainshower

lip-kissing with a little bit of tip-of-tongue titilation. i don't like stroking someone's entire tongue. that is disgusting and can make me gag. i don't want to be aware of the other person's saliva. that is also disgusting and can make me gag, which is why i prefer lip-kissing. that little bit of tip-of-tongue touching offers the right amount of arousal and erotisism. and it goes without saying: lips must be soft and supple. i prefer not to kiss with lip balm on my lips. and certainly not gloss or lipstick. just naked, soft lips. lips. lips. lips. lips.


LIPS!

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tc

I also don't like saliva!

I like kissing to be soft and subtle and indirect ... my favorite ever is when lips aren't even moving but just barely touching, on the corner of the mouth maybe, or to the side, while our minds are elsewhere.

OBB

with my extensive knowledge and experience with kissing i can say that a good kisser can literally make my legs buckle. ive only met two that had that affect on me. but i think its very subective.

Speckla

It's love and respect for me. I've kissed a few people in my day and none effected me like the first kiss from my husband (then boyfriend). He's the first person I actually enjoyed kissing and couldn't wait to kiss again. Just the right amount of pressure, right tilt, eyes full of love, and being conscious of how you're holding/pressing against the other person. The first kiss felt like coming home and being fully loved/accepted and at ease. Comfort/total ease/safe/security are the words that comes into mind when I think of him.

kat180

oh lord- reading threads like this makes me nervous. How do u know if you are a good kisser? From someone who, as yet, hasnt been kissed- this thread, while very interesting, is also making me worry!

So for you experienced ladies- tips/advice and first kiss stories pls! (Im gonna assume no one hear thinks they are a bad kisser like the guys they are describing lol!)

TK*

For your first kiss, don't worry about it. Just go for it, lol. People always want tips and tricks. I say, honesty is the best tool you have. Simply explore what you like and don't like, tell your partner what you like and don't like, then you'll always have a happy kissing experience. If both of you are open to experiment, it can be a mutual learning activity that's fun to do AND intimate at the same time!

I experiment with my bf all the time, sometimes I do a totally ridiculous kiss just for the hell of it, then pull away and ask, "Do you like that?" If no, I try something else. If yes, that's just one more kiss under my belt I can use, haha! It's a learning experience. Don't make it too big a deal, kissing is supposed to be fun!

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RedCatWaves

Oh, just do it. And have fun learning.

wild~hair

Yeah, you don't want to overthink kissing. It's not something to think about. The motivation needs to come from, uh, elsewhere.