Go Back   CurlTalk > Life > Non-hair discussion

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-31-2009, 10:04 PM   #1
 
iara's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,199
Default Is this weird?

In a previous post I mentioned this great guy I am dating. Update, he learned to kiss me better. He was just nervous the first time.

A weird thing happened. Things started to get heated and in the throes of passion he called me his daughter's name.

He immediately said my name and I shrugged it off so not to embarrass him.

Yeah, I have called a current beau by an ex's name once but calling someone the name of a member of the family? He does not seem creepy but I found this odd especially since we were doing some serious petting at the time.

Opinions?
iara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 10:10 PM   #2
 
wild~hair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,942
Default

That would totally freak me out.

That he shrugged it off, too, would freak me out. Just because, I don't know, at best it seems dishonest to downplay something like that. At worst, if he really doesn't think it's a big deal, dunno, that's just creepy to me.
wild~hair is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 10:14 PM   #3
 
iara's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,199
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by wild~hair View Post
That would totally freak me out.

That he shrugged it off, too, would freak me out. Just because, I don't know, at best it seems dishonest to downplay something like that. At worst, if he really doesn't think it's a big deal, dunno, that's just creepy to me.
I think I will go with my gut on this one...
iara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 10:19 PM   #4
 
SarcasmIsBeauty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,588
Default

I'd be completely freaked out too. I would hope he had dated someone with his daughters name but even then its still too close for comfort... very high on the creepy board for me
__________________
Turtles: omg please don't put that in your moo moo

Nej: too late... moo moo has been infiltrated.
SarcasmIsBeauty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 10:24 PM   #5
 
iara's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,199
Default

So the question is, when I break it off, should I be honest and tell him being called by his daughter's name creeped me out or should I be generic and say this is not working out for me?

I plan to do this in a public place.

Sarcasm: both of our names are latino, start with the same letter and are uncommon in the US. BUT they sound different so I cannot see why he would call me that. The only time I call people by another name is when I am thinking about that person. It grosses me out to think he was thinking about her when he was with me. That negates all of the fun times we had.

Last edited by iara; 01-31-2009 at 10:28 PM.
iara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 10:35 PM   #6
 
RedCatWaves's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 31,609
Default

Meh...wouldn't bother me. I mix up my family's names all the time. Hubby is lucky that I don't yell out the dog's name in a heat of passion.
RedCatWaves is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 10:46 PM   #7
 
gekko422's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 9,276
Default

When we were growing up, my sister's name and my name were interchangeable. They are nothing alike. I dated a guy and I was CONSTANTLY calling him by his roommate's name. I have no idea why. My Mom used to call my brother by the dog's name all.the.time. She also used to call the dog by his name.

I wouldn't rush to dump him just for that. If there is something else going on to give you pause, that's one thing, but over this? Eh. I am with RCW.
__________________
Democracy is not a spectator sport.

You know why pandas are endangered? Cause pandas ain't got no game.

Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite.
gekko422 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 10:55 PM   #8
 
wild_sasparilla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,007
Default

Maybe he was forgetting something he had to do for his daughter, and his subconscious was like, "DUDE! Stop sucking face and buy her the freaking construction paper!"

However, if your gut is really telling you that something about his tone or whatever made it very, very wrong for him to make this mix-up, then your gut may know something we don't.
__________________
OMG, LOOK!!

...It's a siggie.
wild_sasparilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 11:08 PM   #9
 
iara's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,199
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gekko422 View Post
My Mom used to call my brother by the dog's name all.the.time. She also used to call the dog by his name.

I wouldn't rush to dump him just for that. If there is something else going on to give you pause, that's one thing, but over this? Eh. I am with RCW.
LOL. My dad calls me by his sisters' names and his sisters by my name. It is rare when he gets it right.

My mother was molested by a family member when she was a kid so perhaps I am extra sensitive to this.



Not sure if I will stop seeing him or not...I will see how I feel the next time I see him.
iara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 11:35 PM   #10
 
wild~hair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 10,942
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
Meh...wouldn't bother me. I mix up my family's names all the time. Hubby is lucky that I don't yell out the dog's name in a heat of passion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gekko422 View Post
When we were growing up, my sister's name and my name were interchangeable. They are nothing alike. I dated a guy and I was CONSTANTLY calling him by his roommate's name. I have no idea why. My Mom used to call my brother by the dog's name all.the.time. She also used to call the dog by his name.

I wouldn't rush to dump him just for that. If there is something else going on to give you pause, that's one thing, but over this? Eh. I am with RCW.

My sister does this all the time. You can tell she's majorly distracted. She's always distracted, she has 3 kids, a husband, 2 dogs, and a cat.

I get that. But it would still bother me. It's creepy in this context. They haven't been married forever, this is different.

I don't know, I would at least hope that he would say something about it, to put iara's mind at ease.
wild~hair is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2009, 11:50 PM   #11
 
KurlyKae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,971
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
Meh...wouldn't bother me. I mix up my family's names all the time. Hubby is lucky that I don't yell out the dog's name in a heat of passion.
Me too. I call my hubby my brother's name (esp. if I've recently seen/talked to DB) and the other way around. I often get the DDs' names twisted, and even intentionally gave then names beginning with different letters (my DB and I have the same initials, parents were always tripping over our names.) Well, I mix them up anyway, and now add the dog into that mix. I've called DH by the dog's name, too. It's was probably just a slip, especially if he was a bit nervous yet.

Last edited by KurlyKae; 01-31-2009 at 11:54 PM.
KurlyKae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 01:58 AM   #12
 
Lotsawaves's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 9,162
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
Meh...wouldn't bother me. I mix up my family's names all the time. Hubby is lucky that I don't yell out the dog's name in a heat of passion.
This totally cracked me up!
__________________
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
Lotsawaves is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 03:36 AM   #13
 
Eilonwy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 12,124
Default

If it creeps you out, then that's a good enough reason to break it off. However, there's no reason to assume that it was indicative of incest. Maybe you could talk to him about it?
Eilonwy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 06:52 AM   #14
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 41,043
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
Meh...wouldn't bother me. I mix up my family's names all the time. Hubby is lucky that I don't yell out the dog's name in a heat of passion.
This totally cracked me up!
WileE-Dead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 07:31 AM   #15
 
The New Black's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 13,681
Default

At first blush it sounds creepy. But again I wouldn't jump to conclusions too soon. As you mentioned, you only call out someone's name when you're thinking about them.

So he was thinking about his kid? And...? The question is why was he thinking abouther?

It could be for totally innocuous reasons: there's something he forgot to do for her; she's his kid, he loves her, so he thinks about her a lot; he's wondering what she'd think of you and how embarassing it'd be if she saw you two kissing, and on and on.

If your gut hasn't failed you before, sure, go with it. But I'd feel him out a bit more before judging. [Feel out not up! ]

Someone asked me this before: it sounds almost like you want to get rid of him. No offense or anything. But do you like him or not?
__________________
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
The New Black is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 08:02 AM   #16
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,309
Default

My grandmother had 7 kids. When she was upset and trying to get someone's name she would start from the oldest and name them all until she got to the correct child's name.

My other grandmother used to call my mom by my aunt's name and then my cousin's name before getting it right.

If your name starts similarly to hers, I'm guessing it was an honest mixup. He started to say YOUR name, but it started with a sound that he uses all the time before his daughter's name - so you got his daughter's name.
__________________
"Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"
newcurly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 08:42 AM   #17
 
iara's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,199
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
Someone asked me this before: it sounds almost like you want to get rid of him. No offense or anything. But do you like him or not?
I am not offended but it is a strange question to me because I do not continue to date someone if I do not like him and do not have chemistry with him. That is neither fair nor healthy. There are so many other things I would rather do than spend my time with someone I do not like/does not like me and there are other people both of us could be dating (and I currently do).
iara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 08:58 AM   #18
 
The New Black's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 13,681
Default

OK...b/c (and this is the same thing that was said to me)...it sounds like you're just looking for reasons ro kick him to the curb. I'm really not trying to minimize what you feel is important to you. But the two threads I read about this fella seem based on very small things. Good guys are too hard to find. Don't sweat the small stuff... And best of luck with your guy.
__________________
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242

Last edited by Phoenix; 02-01-2009 at 09:02 AM.
The New Black is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 09:45 AM   #19
 
iara's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,199
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
Good guys are too hard to find.
I do not believe this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
And best of luck with your guy.
Thanks
iara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2009, 09:48 AM   #20
 
Suburbanbushbabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 16,020
Default

It could be creepy only if it's substantiated by other actions. Or it could be totally innocent and subconscious. What fantasies go on in our minds to bring us to sexual fulfillment is totally okay....as long as it's in our minds.
__________________
My blog - http://suburbanbushbabe.wordpress.com/
My FOTKI - http://whatsnew.fotki.com/suburbanbushbabe/


Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
Suburbanbushbabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Trending Topics[-]hide

Thread Tools
Display Modes



Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:24 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com