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Old 02-06-2009, 06:31 PM   #41
 
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I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.
really???

prove it!!!!

i'm a size 16 and i have NO PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER with my blood pressure, cholesterol or blood sugar!!!

and i'm 5 foot 2.

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Old 02-06-2009, 06:35 PM   #42
 
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redcatwaves: yeah, i know. she sure hasn't listened to me so far.

well, thanks for your support. trust me, turning to you all is much better than some of my family members who would not sympathize with her as you all do.

i really feel bad as some of you have begged me not to go on about her weight. really, i heard you.

i'm going to try try try to let this go a-gain.
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Old 02-06-2009, 06:37 PM   #43
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Eh, as long as she's not pg, right?
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Old 02-06-2009, 06:37 PM   #44
 
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Rather than talking to her about it anymore, as that doesn't seem to help...just live by example. Keep exercising, eat healthy, have healthy snacks around.
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Old 02-06-2009, 06:38 PM   #45
 
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Can you get her to agree to go see her family doctor for a physical - if she has a clean bill of health you let it go and if she is starting to develop weight related health problems then she agrees try to start losing the weight?
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Old 02-06-2009, 06:41 PM   #46
 
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She's a grown woman now. I think she would be resistant to that request, wouldn't she, Frau? I know if my mother said that to me, I would be.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:04 PM   #47
 
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Can you get her to agree to go see her family doctor for a physical
i'm going to drop it.

it's a cycle; i hold in my criticisms until i can't anymore then i make a comment. she responds and i come here to vent. i would like to get to the point where it doesn't matter. i'm not there yet.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:14 PM   #48
 
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thats the craziest thing ive read today. size 16 doesnt mean you have issues. thats like saying size 2 people have issues. theyre anorexic and malnutritioned. you can be a healthy 16. you dont even know how tall her daughter is. what if she were 5'11"??? and if someone loves their rolls, whats the problem with that (granted 200 lbs at 5'0" is a bit much, but a roll or two wont kill you)? being in the double digits in clothing isnt a death sentence.

but anywho, frau leave that girl alone. the damage youre doing to her self esteem isnt worth it.
I agree. I just looked at her daughter Frau's Fotki and she just doesn't look obese to me.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:17 PM   #49
 
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Next time just vent here before you make a comment to her. I understand what some posters are saying about gently talking to her about her weight to avoid more weight gain, but she's an adult, you have no control over what she eats, it won't work no matter what you say and even under the best circumstances she'll resent the hell out of you for making an issue of it. And considering your history with this issue, the circumstances will never even be decent.This is what happened with one of my sisters and it took me forever to convince my mother that her motherly concern was irrelevant and she needed to stfu about it...all her concern just made my sister feel like crap.

She's an adult. She has a mirror. She knows she's gained weight. She doesn't need you to mention it. Drop it.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:22 PM   #50
 
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I agree. I just looked at her daughter Frau's Fotki and she just doesn't look obese to me.

OK, I just looked too. Frau, she's gained a little weight over the past couple of years, but she's also reached adulthood in that time too, and the skinny teen years don't go on forever for most of us. In the Nov 2008 Thanksgiving pic (the most recent I could see), she looks great...beautiful. I wouldn't call her obese in the least.

Leave her be.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:38 PM   #51
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Can you get her to agree to go see her family doctor for a physical
i'm going to drop it.

it's a cycle; i hold in my criticisms until i can't anymore then i make a comment. she responds and i come here to vent. i would like to get to the point where it doesn't matter. i'm not there yet.
Post your opinions on the I dare you to say it thread. Anything goes on that one.
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Old 02-06-2009, 07:39 PM   #52
 
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I know this wasn't the first post like this of Frau's - I was just offering another way of looking at it, based on my experience.

I was always thin growing up, and my mom was always heavy. Through my high school years her and I clashed and I rebelled out of high school by dating a guy whom she absolutely hated, and gained a bunch of weight.

Now, I'm pretty sure the boyfriend was the rebellion, and the weight gain was from being in a long term live in relationship with someone I hated, but the bottom line here is, neither one lasted forever.

At some point I came out of my teenage fog (which actually lasts into your 20's) and I got rid of the guy and lost the 50lbs.

The point is, you may be making a huge deal out of nothing. This may not be a lifelong problem, provided to do not continue to make it such.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:25 PM   #53
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I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.
really???

prove it!!!!

i'm a size 16 and i have NO PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER with my blood pressure, cholesterol or blood sugar!!!

and i'm 5 foot 2.

Yeah-the comments about a size 16 being unhealthy made me laugh.
Gimmie a break!
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:32 PM   #54
 
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I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.
really???

prove it!!!!

i'm a size 16 and i have NO PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER with my blood pressure, cholesterol or blood sugar!!!

and i'm 5 foot 2.

Yeah-the comments about a size 16 being unhealthy made me laugh.
Gimmie a break!

I know. Me, and my fat-size-16-ass, should be dead by now according to some here. Truthfully, I'm healthier than a lot of people half my age. I swim 80 laps 5 days a week, and my curves are not rolls.

There was a study done a year or two ago, saying that older women who have an "obese" BMI actually live longer than those with a "normal" BMI.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:42 PM   #55
 
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I know. Me, and my fat-size-16-ass, should be dead by now according to some here. Truthfully, I'm healthier than a lot of people half my age. I swim 80 laps 5 days a week, and my curves are not rolls.

There was a study done a year or two ago, saying that older women who have an "obese" BMI actually live longer than those with a "normal" BMI.
Exactly. I'm a size 10, and I'm probably far less healthy than you are, simply because I don't work out nearly as much as I should. There's far too much emphasis put on the actual dress size and not whether there's a healthy person inside of that dress.

I'm trying to tread very lightly here, since I'm new on these forums, and I don't know the background of this situation. So I'm trying to be as diplomatic as possible. At any rate, I looked at the pictures of Frau's daughter, and she's a beautiful girl - she's not even remotely what I'd consider "fat" or "obese". Do you know that she is or isn't eating healthy? Do you know if she is or isn't getting exercise? Perhaps there's someone in your family who you don't even know about who passed along a heavier gene to her. If she's healthy, then her size shouldn't matter. What IS unhealthy is if she's made to feel bad about it.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:44 PM   #56
 
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Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.
Girl, please. I wear a size 16 jacket and size 12 jeans. My cholesterol is 135, with an HDL in the 60s. My BP is on the low end of normal, I can do 40 push ups, and I'm running a 10 minute mile right now, which is better than plenty of skinny 20 somethings that I know.

Good grief, you'd think double digits were a death sentence.

Really, this bull$**** about "health" from people (GY) is a pack of lies. People just don't like the aesthetics of a double digit woman. There are just as many out of shape and unhealthy skinny people as there are fat people who are actually fairly healthy.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:50 PM   #57
 
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Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.
Girl, please. I wear a size 16 jacket and size 12 jeans. My cholesterol is 135, with an HDL in the 60s. My BP is on the low end of normal, I can do 40 push ups, and I'm running a 10 minute mile right now, which is better than plenty of skinny 20 somethings that I know.

Good grief, you'd think double digits were a death sentence.

Really, this bull$**** about "health" from people (GY) is a pack of lies. People just don't like the aesthetics of a double digit woman. There are just as many out of shape and unhealthy skinny people as there are fat people who are actually fairly healthy.
Ain't that the truth. I'm a 5'4, 200lb girl. I'm not as healthy as I SHOULD be, but i'm not as UNHEALTHY as people expect me to be. And I'm working on it.

But then you have my younger sister. 5'5, 110 pounds MAYBE... and the last time she was at the doc's she was told she needs to work out more, because her heart rate isn't what it should be. She's FAR more out of shape than I am.

It really depends on the person. It's too broad to make those generalizations.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:50 PM   #58
 
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People just don't like the aesthetics of a double digit woman.

Some do.
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Old 02-06-2009, 08:52 PM   #59
 
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People just don't like the aesthetics of a double digit woman.

Some do.
Well, true. Honestly, I think more men do, and women freak out and break out the fat song. Sheesh.
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Old 02-06-2009, 10:15 PM   #60
 
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Not that it matters at this point, but I do want to retract my statement about a size 16 being rather unhealthy, as I realized I did a horribly miscalculated size to weight conversion (thinking off the top of my head that a size 16 would be 270 lbs).
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