i don't want to be a size 6

frau · 02-06-2009, 04:38 PM

so of course i couldn't hold my tongue forever. so as my daughter is approaching size 16 (oh lawrd) i mentioned that she should go to the gym with me.

she explained that she knows she's gained weight but that she's happy as she is. that in high school no matter how thin she was she always thought she should be thinner. that yes, she knows she was 120lbs in her freshman year of college but that she doesn't like being that size. she likes her curves and she doesn't feel like she looks bad at all. she says she doesn't want to be a size 6.

i'm kind of speechless about the whole thing.

RedCatWaves · 02-06-2009, 04:40 PM

Leave her alone, Frau. It's her life and her body, and you need to butt out.

MimsTX · 02-06-2009, 04:40 PM

It's her life *shrug* if she's happy at her weight, leave her be about it. So long as she's living a healthy lifestyle and it's not causing her any issues, I don't see what the problem is.

Eilonwy · 02-06-2009, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedCatWaves

Leave her alone, Frau. It's her life and her body, and you need to butt out.

At this point, Frau, you're making it impossible for her to lose weight, even if she'd like to. Maintaining her weight, or gaining, is probably something that she feels she needs to do in order to assert her self-respect and her independence from you. And I don't blame her. If what you've posted on this subject is accurate, you're not exactly being constructive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by newcurly

A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

Hey everyone this was posted later on in the thread. Everyone keeps misinterpreting it and then getting really angry at newcurly. She's talking about weight, not size. More specifically, she is talking about a woman who is 5 feet tall and weighs 230 pounds, which is very obese. Just wanted to clear that up so we can get through the thread without repeatedly flaming a new member for no good reason.

WileE-Dead · 02-06-2009, 04:47 PM

Code:

this won't go well...

sew and sew · 02-06-2009, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MimsTX

It's her life *shrug* if she's happy at her weight, leave her be about it. So long as she's living a healthy lifestyle and it's not causing her any issues, I don't see what the problem is.

Agreed.

Nappy_curly_crown · 02-06-2009, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WileECoyote - The Nudist Poster

Code:

this won't go well...

Agreed. I can feel the trouble brewing.....

newcurly · 02-06-2009, 05:02 PM

Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

M2LRToo · 02-06-2009, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newcurly

Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

Clearly you've missed frau's other ramblings on her daughter's weight gain.

As to the bolded...well, nevermind.

Frau, leave your daughter alone. ITA that you're pretty much sabotaging this issue with her.

02-06-2009, 05:07 PM

Frau,
You need a size mind-your-own-business and stop advertising every few months what size your daughter wears.

Yeah, you can post what you want and yes, we don't have to respond but enough is enough. Her life, her body.

Eilonwy · 02-06-2009, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newcurly

When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

Yeah, it's definitely not healthy to have excessively high body fat.

However, Frau's behavior toward her daughter, as documented on this board, is not healthy either.

1Joy · 02-06-2009, 05:11 PM

Ok maybe I am about to get flamed but oh well. Am I hearing this correctly? A mom wants to make sure her daughter is healthy and people are telling her to "butt out". Are you kidding me? Unless I missed something, continue to encourage your daughter to be concerned about being fit and healthy. Studies show that by 2015, 75% of Americans will be overweight/obese! But nobody wants to discuss it openly and be honest with one another!? You did not encourage her to become a size 6. You are encouraging her to live a healthy lifestyle and know that whether she listens right now or not that you are planting seeds....they may blossom later and become full blooms of better choices.

Boomygrrl · 02-06-2009, 05:11 PM

I have missed Frau's other posts...so I guess that's why I don't understand the harsh responses. My first reaction after reading the OP is, well if your daughter is healthy (and yes someone can be healthy at a bigger size), then don't worry about it. Let her be.
But it seems like this has been an on-going issue. Likely a bigger issue than what is on the surface here, so there's not going to be an easy answer.

Oregano (formerly babywavy) · 02-06-2009, 05:11 PM

She was 120lbs her freshman year in college and now she's a size 16?

Has anyone gone over theory that she's at this weight to spite you? I mean, if she's college age, mid twenties, she could very well be at that stage in her life. And if you focused on this as much when she was in high school as you do now, she may feel free and independent enough to through it back into your face.

sarah42 · 02-06-2009, 05:11 PM

This is not the first time Frau has posted about her daughter's weight.

I say this with as much kindness as possible, but Frau, it should be none of your business what your daughter's weight or size is. Even if she's becoming overweight and you're concerned about her health, you can't make the decision for her to lose weight. It's her life and her body, and she is an adult who is responsible for herself.

Mise · 02-06-2009, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newcurly

Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

I'm assuming you mean she was a size 8....size 8 is overweight now???

Sorry, but unless you're a very short woman, I would never consider this is fat!

Eilonwy · 02-06-2009, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1Joy

Unless I missed something, continue to encourage your daughter to be concerned about being fit and healthy.

Believe me, you missed a hell of a lot. We get posts like this from Frau a few times a year, and they indicate some pretty cruel behavior on her part.

I, for one, really hate it when people downplay the health risks of obesity, opting instead of a feel-good message. However, Frau is very concerned with her daughter's appearance. Self-hatred, and feeling justifiably angry toward your mom, do not promote healthy eating habits!

M2LRToo · 02-06-2009, 05:15 PM

This was the only thread I could find, but clearly it's something that frau has brought up before:
http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/showthread.php?t=22649&highlight=weight%2C+size%2C +daughter

M2LRToo · 02-06-2009, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eilonwy

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1Joy

Unless I missed something, continue to encourage your daughter to be concerned about being fit and healthy.

Believe me, you missed a hell of a lot. We get posts like this from Frau a few times a year, and they indicate some pretty cruel behavior on her part.

I, for one, really hate it when people downplay the health risks of obesity, opting instead of a feel-good message. However, Frau is very concerned with her daughter's appearance.

And I completely agree with this statement. The threads that frau starts about her daughters weight barely (if ever) touch on the health aspects of it and more focus on "being seen with her" and the like...how frau is so small and her daughter isn't and so on.

I don't think that anyone here is downplaying obesity at all...I think that we are merely considering the source and the past threads on this very topic.

newcurly · 02-06-2009, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mise

Quote:

Originally Posted by newcurly

Wow, you guys are being a bit harsh on frau here. I can see a size 8-10 woman arguing that she "likes her curves." When you hit size 16, you have issues. Your blood pressure is going up, your glucose tolerance is coming down - putting you at risk for diabetes and at high risk of diabetic complications.

A girl my height who was twice my (size 4 - not too skinny, not fat) weight once told me that "she liked her body and loved her curves." I was tempted to say, "Honey, those aren't curves, THEY'RE ROLLS." I didn't, though.

I'm assuming you mean she was a size 8....size 8 is overweight now???

Sorry, but unless you're a very short woman, I would never consider this is fat!

No, I said she was twice my WEIGHT, not twice my size. I'm 5'0" and weighed about 115 lbs (which is not THAT skinny). She was 5'0" and weighed 230.