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Old 02-09-2009, 01:27 PM   #1
 
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so i need some advice. i have a friend that recently found out her boyfriend of seven years was cheating on her with the mothers of his kids, when she met him he told her that he only had 2 boys, well later on around 2005 she found out that he had a daughter while they were on a "break", then she found out that the mother of one of the son's she knew about really has 3 boys with him 2 of which would have been conceived while they were together, ok well then she finds about another daughter making this a total of 6 kids, well last week she found out about a 1 year old baby and to top all this mess off he is very abusive to her. So now we have a total of 7 kids and when she tried to discuss this with him he tried to choke her, well any her boyfriend has a college education and a 2 very good jobs and a criminal record his employers don't know about, so she faxed paperwork about his crimal record to both employers is she wrong for this? Or did he get what he deserved?
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Old 02-09-2009, 01:42 PM   #2
 
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Aside from the kids, or the cheating, or any of that, this woman seems to be in danger.
Should she have done what she did? No, not IMO. If he finds out about that you don't think he could potentially come after her. She needs to just get the F out and not look back.
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:08 PM   #3
 
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Oh, I'm sorry hun. But agreed with Narnia, don't provoke him...not that he'd know who dropped a dime on him, but he could probably guess. If she were turning him in for something he hadn't already been punished for or was still doing, that would be different.
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:27 PM   #4
 
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he knows she did it he finally let her go
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Old 02-09-2009, 03:46 PM   #5
 
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WOW - there is so much wrong here I don't know where to begin. This goes way beyond he's just not that into you.

Even though this guy is a jerk and a liar and a cheat, she knew it and took him back time and time again so she really can't complain about his behavior since she basically condoned it.

I don't think she had any right to inform his employer about his record, it's none of her business.

What did she want to come of this when she did it? Revenge, for him to break up with her? What did she expect to happen?

Is she upset that he broke up with her? She really should be happy - it's the best thing that ever could have happened to her.
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Old 02-09-2009, 03:57 PM   #6
 
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all she ever wanted to do was leave him in peace, but each time she did he'd threaten her and show up at her job, finally he is actually gonna leave her alone
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Old 02-09-2009, 05:35 PM   #7
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by april-epiphany View Post
all she ever wanted to do was leave him in peace, but each time she did he'd threaten her and show up at her job, finally he is actually gonna leave her alone
Well lets hope so.
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Old 02-09-2009, 06:38 PM   #8
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Damn! Wow!

Tell your friend to be careful. He's crazy and abusive. No telling what he'll do to her. They don't live together, do they?

No, she shouldn't have done that. Even if he's a lying, abusive cheater, he and his kids still have to eat. Plus, fighting dirty is just...well...dirty. And petty. I'll bet $10 that this isn't the last of him. He'll try to get back at her for this.
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Old 02-09-2009, 07:08 PM   #9
 
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Damn! Wow!

Tell your friend to be careful. He's crazy and abusive. No telling what he'll do to her. They don't live together, do they?

No, she shouldn't have done that. Even if he's a lying, abusive cheater, he and his kids still have to eat. Plus, fighting dirty is just...well...dirty. And petty. I'll bet $10 that this isn't the last of him. He'll try to get back at her for this.
well he got his number changed but know she's getting calls from a private number.
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:06 PM   #10
 
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Quote:
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he finally let her go
She got off easy. What a mess. (The situation, not your friend)
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:10 PM   #11
 
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maybe she should get hers changed too
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:43 AM   #12
 
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Quote:
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maybe she should get hers changed too
I wouldn't do anything to provoke him at this point. If she changes her number, he may come find her in person. She should try to handle him with kid gloves. Personally, I'd probably get some mace or a personal stun gun.
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Old 02-10-2009, 10:53 AM   #13
 
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changing ur number isn't provocative IMO. Mace or a stun gun would provoke him much more if she aims but misses.
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Old 02-10-2009, 01:58 PM   #14
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meryn View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by april-epiphany View Post
he finally let her go
She got off easy. What a mess. (The situation, not your friend)
no you are right i am a mess i just can't beleive i let him do this to me for 7 years, i know i sound like an idiot to ya'll but i am so hurt, i always thought that if i just loved him more he would change. i am such an idiot i thought the whole revenge thing would make me feel better but it doesn't i just want him to feel an ounce of what i feel is that asking too much?
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Old 02-10-2009, 02:28 PM   #15
 
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It's not worth it. Walk away, don't look back, and pray he doesn't come looking for you.

You deserve happiness. You will not find it there.
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Old 02-10-2009, 02:35 PM   #16
 
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I just want to say, stay safe!
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Old 02-10-2009, 02:39 PM   #17
 
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thanks ladies
its like i feel like i am missing out on something cause i love him but he's not worth it, no one is

Last edited by april-epiphany; 02-10-2009 at 02:43 PM. Reason: ?
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Old 02-10-2009, 02:57 PM   #18
 
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worth abuse? nope. no one.

I thought maybe you were the "friend," but I figured if you wanted to stay anonymous, cool.
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Old 02-10-2009, 03:27 PM   #19
 
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i just didn't want to be judged thats all
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Old 02-10-2009, 04:11 PM   #20
 
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I hear ya
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