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Old 02-09-2009, 09:04 PM   #1
 
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Default Curlies, my BFF is going through helll... need to vent

January 4, her world exploded.

January 8, she had pulled over on the freeway in LA, sobbing, saying "I thought about killing myself, decided I need to come see you instead. I HAVE to come see you. NOW."

January 12, she arrives in hawaii with her 5 year old daughter, informs me that her husband of 12 years is having an affair, and a newly acquired cocaine problem.

We spend the next two weeks together, lots of beach time, WAY too many pina coladas, she talked when she needed to, was quiet when she needed to be, cried when she needed to. But she was gathering strength, I could see it.

Then hubby shows up with their 12 year old daughter, he was reserved, but it looked like he was coming to retrieve her, make his apologies, and move on. He even said to me "it was a phase". But it was after a verbal b*tch slap on my part. I was angry.

He leaves a week later, BFF is still stressed, but not sharing. So I try to maintain as much normalcy as possible given the circumstances. She leaves back to california because her business is falling apart from neglect, being as she's been in hell for a month.

She texts tonight, husband moved out, and she's BEGGING me to come to orange county. I simply cannot. I have my own business and have an enormous workload right now, besides I'm looking for a house.

AAARRRRGGG!!!!

not looking for answers, just need to get it out. I feel helpless.
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:12 PM   #2
 
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wow...so sorry about this
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:29 PM   #3
 
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I'm sorry. I can see how incredibly frustrating this must be for you. I hope things get better.
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:29 PM   #4
 
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So sorry you are going through this, hope you both pull out strong
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Old 02-09-2009, 09:48 PM   #5
 
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Your friend needs to find out just how strong she is. It's nice to run away to the islands for a month and cry on a shoulder, or have the shoulder come to her, but that doesn't fix the problem, that doesn't build the new life she needs. The problems just follow. She needs to pull up her bootstraps. She has the strength inside her.

It's distressing to me that she has 2 children and is thinking of killing herself...so very selfish. I'd want to slap her personally.
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Old 02-09-2009, 10:26 PM   #6
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
It's distressing to me that she has 2 children and is thinking of killing herself...so very selfish. I'd want to slap her personally.
I know, I about crapped my pants. It was said in a moment of extreme pain, but she's OK, the initial trauma is over. Her kids are her life, her love.
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Old 02-10-2009, 07:10 AM   #7
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meryn View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
It's distressing to me that she has 2 children and is thinking of killing herself...so very selfish. I'd want to slap her personally.
I know, I about crapped my pants. It was said in a moment of extreme pain, but she's OK, the initial trauma is over. Her kids are her life, her love.
you cant save someone personally from suicide.
let her know the next time she threatens, that you will call the police. you shouldn't have to feel like you need to save her life.

she needs to get her ass in therapy asap.

rcw, she might not be strong enough at the moment - but she needs to learn how to become stronger without draining her friends/children of life.
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Old 02-10-2009, 08:59 PM   #8
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meryn View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
It's distressing to me that she has 2 children and is thinking of killing herself...so very selfish. I'd want to slap her personally.
I know, I about crapped my pants. It was said in a moment of extreme pain, but she's OK, the initial trauma is over. Her kids are her life, her love.
You can support her by phone. She needs to stand on her own for her kids. And if she's having serious suicidal thoughts, you should let her know you will have to inform emergency services. Does she have family she can lean on?
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:14 PM   #9
 
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Ahhh,

Google "emotional freedom technique" or "EFT".

Or better yet, do a search under youtube as there are plenty of how-to videos on it. And while she is practicing with youtube, have a DVD and/or book on it sent her way. it will TRULY work wonders for her and in a short time.
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