My friend has become indoctrinated!

She had a difficult experience recently that led to her becoming religious. She lives in California, so we don't get to talk often. Yesterday we talked about a few different things, and I was taken aback because when I first learned of her new-found religious beliefs I didn't think she'd be one of those people who insist that if your life sucks it's due to lack of faith. I'm not an atheist, I believe in God, but I don't believe in religion.

Basically I told my friend how beaten down I am these days because aside from the heartbreak, my unemployment claim is still pending, so I'm stressing out about that. Plus she knows about my life before all of this as well. And she told me how I need to pray and find God and basically that'll help me find happiness without worrying about external factors. I tried to tell her that there are perfectly happy people in the world who don't believe in God at all. I wasn't trying to argue with her or make her think she's wrong for feeling the way she does, I just wanted her to understand that not everybody can view life that way. She actually said that those people who don't believe aren't truly happy. They're pretending! Basically, I'm miserable because I don't have peace within myself and that is acquired through faith in God.

Aside from that, we were talking about men and I asked her if she had done the deed in all this time we hadn't talked. She told me she's waiting until she's married. I mentioned that she'd been involved in sexual activity and she basically said it's not too late to regret those things done in the past! Again, I stepped lightly and said that if she should fall madly in love with someone, it might seem a lot harder to go through with that. I did not get into why I think it's best to have sex with someone before you marry them because I didn't want to offend her in any way.

Mostly I just can't believe how much my friend has changed and that she now believes religion is the best medicine for everyone. It can get dicey sometimes to talk to her because I love her dearly and I don't want to offend her, but I also don't really like being told that the solution to my problems is believing in God more and praying.
Interesting...
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
Sometimes when people first turn to religion, they become all gung ho....many mellow out after awhile. She found something new...it's exciting to her, and she wants to share how it's the end all, cure for everything.
Hopefully, she'll mellow out after awhile.
I have a few religious fanatics in my family but I refuse to hang out with someone who is too much of one. I am not against a person having a religion, going to church, praying, yadda yadda yadda...but if they're preachy or act like religious activities/faith is the only answer, then that annoys the heck out of me.
That's right, I said it! I wear scrunchies!!

I am a sulfate washing, cone slabbing, curly lovin' s.o.b. The CG police haven't caught me yet.


3a/3b
Does she seem happy? If she's happy then good for her!
I wouldn't argue with her. Don't bite your tongue, but if she truly believes all this then what's the point, yk? She's sharing with you because if turning to religion has been positive for her, she thinks you can benefit from it too. If she brings it up again, tell her to pray for you and change the subject.
3c/4a
That's why it's kind of hard to talk to her, because I honestly am not trying to argue with her. I get that she's happy and she's coming from a good place. It's just that she feels I'm way too stuck in my way of thinking and don't want to take advice, but I simply don't think religion is the answer to my problems. She made some points which are probably true about me, but I can do without the sermon.
And it makes me cringe to hear that atheists aren't truly happy, and that it's an act. When she first told me about her sudden beliefs, I did not sense that she would get to such a point.
How long has she been religious? She'll slow down after awhile. Unless she's joined a cult or something...
3c/4a
I have a friend who has recently 'found God'. Suddenly she is a Christian, and goes to Bible readings. She's 20. I think its a little odd, but she seems happy, and she doesn't push it down your throat so much. The only downside is that she is so busy with her Christian friends she hardly has any time for the rest of us anymore.
How long has she been religious? She'll slow down after awhile. Unless she's joined a cult or something...
Originally Posted by Po

All religons are cults.
A lot of religous folks seem to use religion as a cop out for offering real friendship, empathy, and advice. It's so much easier to say "pray about it, ask jesus for help" than to be a real friend.

When my nephew died, my SIL was so put off by most condolence comments being religous based. She felt like people just said their stock religious lines and felt like they had done their part in comforting her. It was all so trite and unhelpful.

I tend to unload ultra-religous types from my life. They get so boring.
How long has she been religious? She'll slow down after awhile. Unless she's joined a cult or something...
Originally Posted by Po

All religons are cults.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Blah, Blah, Blah, it's always the same with you. Can't you find something else to mock besides religion? Or do you enjoy offending people based on their beliefs? You're obviously not going to be able to "set them straight," so just keep your mouth shut. I'm not even overly religious, but even I've grown tired of you spiel.
I'd say about two years. I don't know if that slows down though. My parents have friends who are very religious. When we visited them we went to church for their sake. When they came to visit us, my parents went to church with them.
I remember being extremely annoyed hearing them say how I was an atheist (though I believe in God) in the most condescending, stray lamb tone possible because I was not interested in going.
How long has she been religious? She'll slow down after awhile. Unless she's joined a cult or something...
Originally Posted by Po

All religons are cults.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Blah, Blah, Blah, it's always the same with you. Can't you find something else to mock besides religion? Or do you enjoy offending people based on their beliefs? You're obviously not going to be able to "set them straight," so just keep your mouth shut. I'm not even overly religious, but even I've grown tired of you spiel.
Originally Posted by cyndi

Put me on ignore. I really won't care...or even notice...


Main Entry: cult Pronunciation: \ˈkəlt\ Function: noun Usage: often attributive Etymology: French & Latin; French culte, from Latin cultus care, adoration, from colere to cultivate more at wheel Date: 1617 1: formal religious veneration : worship
2: a system of religious beliefs and ritual ; also : its body of adherents
3: a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious ; also : its body of adherents
4: a system for the cure of disease based on dogma set forth by its promulgator <health cults>
5 a: great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book) ; especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad b: the object of such devotion c: a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion
How long has she been religious? She'll slow down after awhile. Unless she's joined a cult or something...
Originally Posted by Po
Not necessarily true.
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242


All religons are cults.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Blah, Blah, Blah, it's always the same with you. Can't you find something else to mock besides religion? Or do you enjoy offending people based on their beliefs? You're obviously not going to be able to "set them straight," so just keep your mouth shut. I'm not even overly religious, but even I've grown tired of you spiel.
Originally Posted by cyndi

Put me on ignore. I really won't care...or even notice...


Main Entry: cult Pronunciation: \ˈkəlt\ Function: noun Usage: often attributive Etymology: French & Latin; French culte, from Latin cultus care, adoration, from colere to cultivate more at wheel Date: 1617 1: formal religious veneration : worship
2: a system of religious beliefs and ritual ; also : its body of adherents
3: a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious ; also : its body of adherents
4: a system for the cure of disease based on dogma set forth by its promulgator <health cults>
5 a: great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book) ; especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad b: the object of such devotion c: a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves

Blah, Blah, Blah, it's always the same with you. Can't you find something else to mock besides religion? Or do you enjoy offending people based on their beliefs? You're obviously not going to be able to "set them straight," so just keep your mouth shut. I'm not even overly religious, but even I've grown tired of you spiel.
Originally Posted by cyndi

Put me on ignore. I really won't care...or even notice...


Main Entry: cult Pronunciation: \ˈkəlt\ Function: noun Usage: often attributive Etymology: French & Latin; French culte, from Latin cultus care, adoration, from colere to cultivate more at wheel Date: 1617 1: formal religious veneration : worship
2: a system of religious beliefs and ritual ; also : its body of adherents
3: a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious ; also : its body of adherents
4: a system for the cure of disease based on dogma set forth by its promulgator <health cults>
5 a: great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book) ; especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad b: the object of such devotion c: a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Originally Posted by cyndi
IME, most religious people become less black and white over time. I'm not saying she's going to stop talking about religion or she'll change her beliefs, but she'll probably get the point. Either she'll stop talking to Sairis because she's not on her "level" of religiosity or she'll realize that Sairis needs more than a trite "pray more" and meet Sairis where she is. Or Sairis will distance herself because it's annoying.

And I've noticed that A LOT of people suck at offering condolences. Most of the sucky comments I've heard have nothing to do with religion. Atheists/non-theists (or non-religious people or people who are mad at God for whatever reason) just notice the religious ones because they're coming from two different worldviews. If I didn't believe in God and someone said something to me about Jesus, I probably wouldn't find it too comforting.
3c/4a

Last edited by Po; 02-13-2009 at 12:16 PM.


Put me on ignore. I really won't care...or even notice...
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Nah. It wouldn't be as much fun as watching what comes out of your keyboard.


Main Entry: cult Pronunciation: \ˈkəlt\ Function: noun Usage: often attributive Etymology: French & Latin; French culte, from Latin cultus care, adoration, from colere to cultivate more at wheel Date: 1617 1: formal religious veneration : worship
2: a system of religious beliefs and ritual ; also : its body of adherents
3: a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious ; also : its body of adherents
4: a system for the cure of disease based on dogma set forth by its promulgator <health cults>
5 a: great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book) ; especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad b: the object of such devotion c: a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion
Stereotype - a fixed or conventional notion of a person or group, allowing for no individuality.

An exaggerated belief about a person or group.

Biased generalizations about a group based on hearsay, opinions, and distorted, preconceived ideas.
Converts are always the most zealous. I suppose when it's a conscious decision and not something you just "did" from early childhood, it's natural to be excited. Nonetheless, if you don't feel the same way, it can sure be annoying.
Loose botticelli curls and waves
No silicones/no sulfates since March 2008
I'm sorry about our experience with your friend. It must have been a bit off-putting to tell her your stuff and hope to get back some sympathy and understanding and instead get told how you couldn't possibly be happy.
Try to respect her new beliefs. And hope that in time she will find the compassionate side of her religion and be able to be a friend to you deswpite your different beliefs.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.

Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.
I would feel a little disappointed and hurt if a friend acted that way towards me. Part of friendship is trying to be helpful and caring when your friend is facing problems. It seems like a brush-off if her response is a one-size-fits-all suggestion to pray or find Jesus. JMO.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com