View Poll Results: If your SO revealed s/he had an STD, would you stay?
Yeah, sure...so many treatment options nowadays. 3 5.56%
No! You're kidding, right? 12 22.22%
I don't know...it would depend on so many things. 18 33.33%
Maybe...It would depend on which STD. 19 35.19%
Other 2 3.70%
Voters: 54. You may not vote on this poll

If your newish SO revealed s/he currently has an STD, would you stay? go?

Condoms don't protect you from herpes or from HPV, the latter being the cause of all cervical cancers.
Originally Posted by jeamaria
HPV is the cause of SOME cervical cancers, but far from all. And far from everyone with HPV gets cervical cancer--the way not everyone who smokes gets lung cncer.

Also, condoms go a long way against protecting from herpes, although not all strains and not all the time.

No offense intended to any posters, but we really, really need more sex education in schools. It really saddens and frightens me they type of information that many people put out there--especially the people who discourage condom use because they're "not really that useful".



Anyway, I have really close friends who have some serious STIs. It bothers me to think of them dating and falling in love with people who wouldn't be with them because of it. They are responsible, and would never put someone at any kind or risk without letting them know--and they also have taken on the burden of waiting until things are much, much more serious until they can have sexual relations. Knowing their stories, I wouldn't dismiss someone for an STI, even the serious ones.
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
It depends on a LOT of things for me. If it was a 'minor' STD (think HPV), I don't think it's necessarily a deal breaker. Something major like herpes or AIDS or the like (the 'incurables') would be harder. Still, if I really loved someone... I dunno. Maybe I could live with it. That being said, if it's a 'newish' relationship, that kind of love would be pretty rare...

ugh. definitely a 'i don't know' question. Someone with an STD doesn't deserve to be sad and lonely just because of a past mistake that damn near everyone else has probably made as well. *shrug* not necessarily, anyways.
Originally Posted by MimsTX
While I know what you mean...HPV isn't "curable" either, and it can become a major problem if the woman who gets it gets cancer.
Originally Posted by M2LRToo
Yes, but if a guy KNOWS he has HPV it's because he has the wart-causing variety. Those strains of HPV typically don't cause cervical dysplasia. So if a guy has the "dangerous" kind of HPV...he probably doesn't know he has it!
Originally Posted by newcurly
The thing is that most guys have the more dangerous kind, without any symptoms, warts/lesions.
Condoms don't protect you from herpes or from HPV, the latter being the cause of all cervical cancers.
Originally Posted by jeamaria
HPV is the cause of SOME cervical cancers, but far from all. And far from everyone with HPV gets cervical cancer--the way not everyone who smokes gets lung cncer.

Also, condoms go a long way against protecting from herpes, although not all strains and not all the time.

No offense intended to any posters, but we really, really need more sex education in schools. It really saddens and frightens me they type of information that many people put out there--especially the people who discourage condom use because they're "not really that useful".



Anyway, I have really close friends who have some serious STIs. It bothers me to think of them dating and falling in love with people who wouldn't be with them because of it. They are responsible, and would never put someone at any kind or risk without letting them know--and they also have taken on the burden of waiting until things are much, much more serious until they can have sexual relations. Knowing their stories, I wouldn't dismiss someone for an STI, even the serious ones.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
Who said the bold?
Currently is what I based my choice on, not had.

I'd drop them, no ifs and or buts. I'm out of there. Don't care, see ya. I really don't care if a couple of rounds of antibiotics will cure it up.

Parent's shouldn't wait for schools to teach their kids about STI's, that is a parent's job don't depend on schools to teach your child EVERYTHING about life. There are a ton of websites out there to show your son or daughter what gonorrhea of the throat or vagina look like. Kids need to know what to look for and what questions need to be asked. You don't wait until you've been in a relationship for several months to have the courage to ask about those odd bumps.

Condoms are better than nothing and a hell of a lot better than trust me, I've been tested.
Condoms don't protect you from herpes or from HPV, the latter being the cause of all cervical cancers.
Originally Posted by jeamaria
HPV is the cause of SOME cervical cancers, but far from all. And far from everyone with HPV gets cervical cancer--the way not everyone who smokes gets lung cncer.

Also, condoms go a long way against protecting from herpes, although not all strains and not all the time.

No offense intended to any posters, but we really, really need more sex education in schools. It really saddens and frightens me they type of information that many people put out there--especially the people who discourage condom use because they're "not really that useful".



Anyway, I have really close friends who have some serious STIs. It bothers me to think of them dating and falling in love with people who wouldn't be with them because of it. They are responsible, and would never put someone at any kind or risk without letting them know--and they also have taken on the burden of waiting until things are much, much more serious until they can have sexual relations. Knowing their stories, I wouldn't dismiss someone for an STI, even the serious ones.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
Although 95% of cervical cancer cases have HPV present.
No MAS.

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Condoms don't protect you from herpes or from HPV, the latter being the cause of all cervical cancers.
Originally Posted by jeamaria
HPV is the cause of SOME cervical cancers, but far from all. And far from everyone with HPV gets cervical cancer--the way not everyone who smokes gets lung cncer.

Also, condoms go a long way against protecting from herpes, although not all strains and not all the time.

No offense intended to any posters, but we really, really need more sex education in schools. It really saddens and frightens me they type of information that many people put out there--especially the people who discourage condom use because they're "not really that useful".



Anyway, I have really close friends who have some serious STIs. It bothers me to think of them dating and falling in love with people who wouldn't be with them because of it. They are responsible, and would never put someone at any kind or risk without letting them know--and they also have taken on the burden of waiting until things are much, much more serious until they can have sexual relations. Knowing their stories, I wouldn't dismiss someone for an STI, even the serious ones.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
Although 95% of cervical cancer cases have HPV present.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
That's because it's the most common virus in the world, more then the common cold. There are over a hundred of strains of HPV and most of them are harmless. Common warts that you'd treat with OTC stuff on your hands and feet are caused by HPV. Only 40 strains are responsible for sti's and only 13 of those are considered high risk. It is estimated that 75% of all sexually active people will have it at one point in their life. Most people fight off the virus without ever seeing a single symptom. There are other things that can cause cervical cancer, so just because it's present, doesn't mean it was the cause.
Herpes is treatable but it's forever.
Would you leave for cold sores?
"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

HPV is the cause of SOME cervical cancers, but far from all. And far from everyone with HPV gets cervical cancer--the way not everyone who smokes gets lung cncer.

Also, condoms go a long way against protecting from herpes, although not all strains and not all the time.

No offense intended to any posters, but we really, really need more sex education in schools. It really saddens and frightens me they type of information that many people put out there--especially the people who discourage condom use because they're "not really that useful".



Anyway, I have really close friends who have some serious STIs. It bothers me to think of them dating and falling in love with people who wouldn't be with them because of it. They are responsible, and would never put someone at any kind or risk without letting them know--and they also have taken on the burden of waiting until things are much, much more serious until they can have sexual relations. Knowing their stories, I wouldn't dismiss someone for an STI, even the serious ones.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
Although 95% of cervical cancer cases have HPV present.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
That's because it's the most common virus in the world, more then the common cold. There are over a hundred of strains of HPV and most of them are harmless. Common warts that you'd treat with OTC stuff on your hands and feet are caused by HPV. Only 40 strains are responsible for sti's and only 13 of those are considered high risk. It is estimated that 75% of all sexually active people will have it at one point in their life. Most people fight off the virus without ever seeing a single symptom. There are other things that can cause cervical cancer, so just because it's present, doesn't mean it was the cause.
Originally Posted by cympreni
No, not definitely. But as you alluded to there are some strains that are higher risk for leading to CC than others.
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
Condoms don't protect you from herpes or from HPV, the latter being the cause of all cervical cancers.
Originally Posted by jeamaria
HPV is the cause of SOME cervical cancers, but far from all. And far from everyone with HPV gets cervical cancer--the way not everyone who smokes gets lung cncer.

Also, condoms go a long way against protecting from herpes, although not all strains and not all the time.

No offense intended to any posters, but we really, really need more sex education in schools. It really saddens and frightens me they type of information that many people put out there--especially the people who discourage condom use because they're "not really that useful".



Anyway, I have really close friends who have some serious STIs. It bothers me to think of them dating and falling in love with people who wouldn't be with them because of it. They are responsible, and would never put someone at any kind or risk without letting them know--and they also have taken on the burden of waiting until things are much, much more serious until they can have sexual relations. Knowing their stories, I wouldn't dismiss someone for an STI, even the serious ones.
Originally Posted by Who Me?
Although 95% of cervical cancer cases have HPV present.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
Do you have a link to this percentage? I was googling for one, I can't seem to find it.
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Posts: 41,043
Currently is what I based my choice on, not had.

I'd drop them, no ifs and or buts. I'm out of there. Don't care, see ya. I really don't care if a couple of rounds of antibiotics will cure it up.

Parent's shouldn't wait for schools to teach their kids about STI's, that is a parent's job don't depend on schools to teach your child EVERYTHING about life. There are a ton of websites out there to show your son or daughter what gonorrhea of the throat or vagina look like. Kids need to know what to look for and what questions need to be asked. You don't wait until you've been in a relationship for several months to have the courage to ask about those odd bumps.

Condoms are better than nothing and a hell of a lot better than trust me, I've been tested.
Originally Posted by hayseedlady
Fark yeah......
Do you have a link to this percentage? I was googling for one, I can't seem to find it.
Originally Posted by M2LR
I'm linking to the abstract for the article that is most commonly cited. It gives 93% as the statistic.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7791229
"Well I love that dirty water. Oh, Boston, you're my home!"

Although 95% of cervical cancer cases have HPV present.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
That's because it's the most common virus in the world, more then the common cold. There are over a hundred of strains of HPV and most of them are harmless. Common warts that you'd treat with OTC stuff on your hands and feet are caused by HPV. Only 40 strains are responsible for sti's and only 13 of those are considered high risk. It is estimated that 75% of all sexually active people will have it at one point in their life. Most people fight off the virus without ever seeing a single symptom. There are other things that can cause cervical cancer, so just because it's present, doesn't mean it was the cause.
Originally Posted by cympreni
No, not definitely. But as you alluded to there are some strains that are higher risk for leading to CC than others.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
In 90% of both high and low risk strain cases, the infection is cleared up naturally on it's own with no complications.

CDC page on HPV

Myths and misconceptions about HPV

The only surefire way to prevent CC is lifelong abstinence, and regular paps with follow ups for abnormal results.
Speckla
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Posts: n/a
I don't know. It's too situational to give a blanket answer.
If my SO had sex with me without admitting that he had an STD, and knew about it, GOODBYE!
If my SO was with someone else at the same time as being with me and contracted an STD, GOODBYE!

Relationships are hard work; the best of them are great because of the hard work that goes into them. Without honesty and respect for each other, what's the point?
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Condoms don't protect you from herpes or from HPV, the latter being the cause of all cervical cancers.
Originally Posted by jeamaria
HPV is the cause of SOME cervical cancers, but far from all. And far from everyone with HPV gets cervical cancer--the way not everyone who smokes gets lung cancer.

Also, condoms go a long way against protecting from herpes, although not all strains and not all the time.

No offense intended to any posters, but we really, really need more sex education in schools. It really saddens and frightens me they type of information that many people put out there--especially the people who discourage condom use because they're "not really that useful".
Originally Posted by Who Me?
My bad. I should have posted "nearly all". Most of the recent literature I've looked at has put the rate at 93% and 99%. That is also the information I've received from my doctor. And I don't see anything in my post that should lead you to infer ANY discouragement of condom use, because that is the exact opposite of my personal stance.

However, the fact remains that condoms are not adequate protection against skin to skin viruses as they are designed to protect against those transmitted by semen/vaginal fluids.

They offer only limited protection where when the virus can be spread from mere skin contact, i.e., where the infected area or the site of potential exposure is protected. That is not a risk I personally would be willing to take.

I think it is dangerous to overemphasize condoms' protection against diseases spread in this manner when that protection is so limited. It can easily serve to lull people into a false sense of security.

I don't think it's discouraging of condom use to acknowledge its limitations. This actually enables people to make wiser choices about who they have sexual relations with and under what circumstances.
I agree that it's important not to overestimate what any kind of birth control can do. Okay, quick background: though I am a virgin, I'm knowledgable and I'm the one my friend came to to ask about condoms. (She was surprised it's not as easy as slip it on and go.) I've also had all three HPV vaccine shots, so she asked me about those, too. I had to tell her the truth about how much they hurt, and she's not good with pain. One of the first things she said after that was that she didn't know if she'd get them, because don't condoms protect against that? I said, well, it's a skin-to-skin one, like herpes, so while condoms are great, they're not to be depended on to catch it.

And I haven't responded to the poll yet, but that's because I read the responses first. My answer will be whatever best fits: I am indoctrinating myself with the idea that testing is NECESSARY and NON-NEGOTIABLE if I'm thinking of having sex with some guy. Even if this guy is the super-amazing, love-of-my-life man who I can't imagine ever causing me pain. I will get tested with him, vein-fearing virgin or not; it's about trust and security, and if he is offended, he is clearly all wrong for me, no matter how right he seemed. And if we'd been sleeping together for awhile and he revealed he had one, because of the first clause, this would automatically mean he'd cheated on me. I think we all know what would happen then...this would be his closest view of my house:
OMG, LOOK!!

...It's a siggie.
I agree that it's important not to overestimate what any kind of birth control can do. Okay, quick background: though I am a virgin, I'm knowledgable and I'm the one my friend came to to ask about condoms. (She was surprised it's not as easy as slip it on and go.) I've also had all three HPV vaccine shots, so she asked me about those, too. I had to tell her the truth about how much they hurt, and she's not good with pain. One of the first things she said after that was that she didn't know if she'd get them, because don't condoms protect against that? I said, well, it's a skin-to-skin one, like herpes, so while condoms are great, they're not to be depended on to catch it.

And I haven't responded to the poll yet, but that's because I read the responses first. My answer will be whatever best fits: I am indoctrinating myself with the idea that testing is NECESSARY and NON-NEGOTIABLE if I'm thinking of having sex with some guy. Even if this guy is the super-amazing, love-of-my-life man who I can't imagine ever causing me pain. I will get tested with him, vein-fearing virgin or not; it's about trust and security, and if he is offended, he is clearly all wrong for me, no matter how right he seemed. And if we'd been sleeping together for awhile and he revealed he had one, because of the first clause, this would automatically mean he'd cheated on me. I think we all know what would happen then...this would be his closest view of my house:
Originally Posted by wild_sasparilla

Exactly; you can't just rely on trust or even condoms alone. You need two lines of defense and testing is the ideal first line, as far as I'm concerned. If I found out someone I was seeing had a skin-to-skin virus there's no chance of me allowing myself any kind of physical intimacy with him. He could be the hottest, nicest, sweetest guy and it wouldn't make a difference. Sorry, but my body is not a charity.

Also, it's so cool that you are so clear on these things before you actually dipped your toe in the pool.
The title says "If your newish SO revealed she/he currently has an STD."

I'd be gone so fast......
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Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
Herpes is treatable but it's forever.
Would you leave for cold sores?
Originally Posted by Narnia

Very good point.

Same thing, different "area".
It depends on a LOT of things for me. If it was a 'minor' STD (think HPV), I don't think it's necessarily a deal breaker. Something major like herpes or AIDS or the like (the 'incurables') would be harder. Still, if I really loved someone... I dunno. Maybe I could live with it. That being said, if it's a 'newish' relationship, that kind of love would be pretty rare...

ugh. definitely a 'i don't know' question. Someone with an STD doesn't deserve to be sad and lonely just because of a past mistake that damn near everyone else has probably made as well. *shrug* not necessarily, anyways.
Originally Posted by MimsTX
While I know what you mean...HPV isn't "curable" either, and it can become a major problem if the woman who gets it gets cancer.
Originally Posted by M2LRToo
BELIEVE me, I know. I had an abnormal pap come back with an HPV high risk strain over a year ago, and it's some scary stuff reading about what COULD happen. Still, if you're vigilant and get checked regularly (I actually have a colpo scheduled for today, eek), you can catch things pretty early on and they're fairly easily treated.

All that being said, everything I've read says there's not really a way for a guy to be tested for the asymptomatic strains. So you could sleep with someone who's been tested for STDs, and think everything is fine (which is what happened to me) and still end up with it.

Does that mean I shouldn't sleep with anyone else, because I'm 'infected'? Maybe that would be the 'right' thing to do. But it's not feasible. I told my current SO straight up about it before anything began to happen, and he's cool with it, so maybe that's the difference... *shrug* I guess I just think it's a little harsh to dismiss EVERYTHING out of hand without having any kind of discussion or contingency plan on it. Then again, I'm coming from a different place than most people, so *shrug*
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