RedCatWaves

My oldest son moved out a couple years ago, and he didn't plan well for it, and, of course, he boomaranged back within a few months. He was, of course, worse off than when he started, and we had to pick him up and brush him off and set him upright again. It was a classic case of "failure to launch". Since then, he's gotten a better job, upgraded his car, and settled down a lot. Getting diabetes, I must say, has done wonders in calming him down and getting him to be more serious about life. A horrible disease can have a silver lining I guess.

ANYWAY...he's moving out again. YEE HA! He's got a nice apartment, nearby, close to work and close to the little university town where he likes to hang out. I'm hopeful he'll now find a nice woman. He hasn't been dating (that I know of), probably because it's hard to impress women in their 20's when you live in your parents' basement.

I'm so excited to get a little more elbow room in the house, and to stop parenting a child. I'm ready to change our relationship to more of an adult-to-adult one. I think he is too.

WileE-Dead

And I thought that was just zman...

RedCatWaves

SNORT! Yeah, I have sort of a motherly feeling towards zman...because he seems like another launching project.

DEL2C

It scares me so much to think of my little girl growing up and moving on. But seeing this definitely shows the other side of it. Of course, when you have more than one you probably even look forward to it sooner

inheritedcurls

Yeah for RCW's son!!!

Maybe the next 3 launches won't be so bad. I think the younger kids learn from the mistakes of the older ones. I know I did. Both my sisters ended up moving back in with my parents. I didn't move out until I knew I could afford it...I refused to fail. I may have lived in a neighborhood my parents hated but I was able to stay moved out even when my roommate gave up and went back home.

Mar

That is exciting!
Mine have yet to leave the nest....

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Boomygrrl

Yeah I had a brother like that. My other brother and I couldn't leave fast enough.

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3a/3b

Josephine

Man I wish my parents were like you. I have been living in their empty house for the last 2 years after they moved. It was good for me in a way because no rent/mortgage (just bills) but bad because I haven't had my own place. I also did it as a favor so that I'm staying there, maintaining it and paying bills there since their intent was to move back as soon as possible.

Well they moved back a few weeks ago and I am ready to move out but I can tell they don't want me to. They are spoiling me by making me lunch, breakfast to go before work, my mom cleans my room (which I find annoying because no privacy - im sure she saw my vibrator and she moved the boxers i got my bf for vday). Of course they dont bug me about anything except occasinally but are careful not to because they dont' want me to move out. Besides the fact that I'm old and need my own place, I have no privacy! And I don't know why they dont understand that someone as old as me woudl want her own place. They are thinking I should love it, free rent, homecooked meals, they don't bug me, but seriously! I'm nervous telling them that I'm going to start looking to move out.

Okay, sorry I totally guanoed on your thread. That's good your son is relaunching and that you want him to.

RedCatWaves

I thought that way when he was younger, but he's almost 23 now...time for him to go be a man.

Of course, I'll probably be singing a different tune when it's time for my little girl to move out. I feel extra protective of her because she's a girl.

mad scientist

Congratulations to RCW Jr. I'm sure this time will be a successful relaunch into the world.

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CurlyinColorado

Great news, good luck to him and happy days for you!

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2b/3a.

WileE-Dead

yep, definitely something about having a girl, that's fer sure...rcw is she your youngest?

RedCatWaves

My daughter is 11, and my 3rd child. I have 1 more boy younger than her. I'm most protective of my daughter though, partly because she's a girl, and partly because she's a shy soul.

Kaia

OK, that totally cracked me up! I was fully expecting you to say you were sad about it, and the YEEHAW was just the complete opposite of what I expected. Having only a toddler, I can't imagine wanting him to EVER leave... but then I haven't been through the teenage years yet.

Congrats to your son (and you for getting him here)! And you are completely correct... in college and beyond, there's no way I would have dated a guy that still lived with mommy.

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RedCatWaves

Oh, you'll find out.

That empty-nest-depression thing is a myth. I think most parents are clicking their heels when they get their kids launched.

wild_sasparilla

Man, I'm turning 20 in under a month and I can't imagine having to leave home forever in just a couple of years, though I know it has to happen. (Now I'm home for summers and breaks, and I cherish them for letting me be with my family.) For all of my imaginings of what my first place will be like, actually thinking of moving out, losing that closeness with my parents and brother, leaving my room - it makes me want to cry. I've already seen that my brother and I are less in-tune now that I'm off a college all the time.

*sigh* This doesn't make me a boomerang, though, just reluctant to launch at this point - which is good, because right now there's no way I could move out to anything other than a cardboard box, and besides, my mom makes the Sad Face thinking about it. I'm still growing up. RCW, I'm glad your son is in the home stretch! And now that he's experienced the failure to launch and has self-treatment to deal with, he'll likely be a lot more responsible and ready to face things than someone who hasn't been challenged, IMO. Good luck to both of you!

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Lotsawaves

You still have 2 more at home, so it's not really an empty nest yet.

My daughter's are a year apart, so they left one right after the other for college. I was also recently divorced. I miss the kids being here, but I do like my privacy.

RedCatWaves

I have three more...but who's counting...

You're right...I can be cavalier about it, because my youngest is only 8, so I still have a whole lifetime of parenting left to do. It's just really nice to loosen up the space in the house a bit by launching this one.

Lotsawaves

It's definitely time for him to move out on his own & I can understand you feeling the way you do. I think when children stay at home once they are in their 20's it's hard on everyone. They don't think they have to have curfews, etc, anymore. Yet many times they don't really help out in the house. It turns into more of a crash pad for them. Some parents will still stay up all night making sure they get home safe.

At one point, after I was divorced, my youngest daughter moved in with me for awhile. I stayed out all night at a boyfriend's house. When I got home she was sitting up waiting for me. She was furious! Our roles had been reversed. We sat down some ground rules & it worked out really well.

RedCatWaves

He hasn't had a curfew since he was about 16. The problem isn't that he's gone too much, but, rather, that he's HERE too much. He's underfoot all.the.time, butting in, almost trying to parent his younger siblings, which the 16 year old in particular, doesn't like, so that causes friction. He helps around the house with chores, so that wasn't the problem either. He just needs to be on his own. I liked him a lot more when he would visit, rather than living with him fulltime.