I have these thoughts since the odds of my having biological children are in low to negative numbers at this point based on my age, pickiness/being perpetually single, being extremely ambivalent about bearing/birthing and raising children, etc..My husband is VERY reluctant to have kids. I think he would be perfectly content never having them. But I don't know if I will be. Granted, I like the way my life is now - being able to travel, go to concerts, sleep in whenever I want, but I still feel like there is something missing.
DH thinks kids absolutely wreck people's lives and most parents are miserable. I definitely don't think that's true for ALL parents. BUT most of my friends that have kids are always telling me how lucky I am to be able to go places, etc. But they are incredulous when I say I don't know if or when we will have kids...like it should be a given that everyone must reproduce. Uh okay. I think it's fine if people choose not to have kids.
I'm just worried about the loneliness factor...sometimes I daydream about being a grandmother with all the little kids running around. What do people do when they get old and everyone they know is gone? I'm not the most social person so I think I would probably be lonely without family. But, yeah, I know MANY people have kids that never visit them, so that would be sad too...sorry my post is getting depressing. I'll stop now.
For you, it might make sense to consider adoption which would continue family if not bloodline.
As for me and others like me, I am very engaged with my friend's kids and hope to be an aunt someday. I also plan to a do a lot of international travel in my older years and to try and maintain an active career as long as possible, and after that volunteering and docent work. I hope to be a mentor to young people as I get older and already am to some degree. In other words, I hope to stay in touch and relevant to young people as I get older and older. We'll see how that goes but I don't envision it as lonely. There are too many schools, communities, families and friends in need of people with attention, interest and affection to share, not to mention an intellectual connection. Hopefully I'll be ok.
Hope you come to peace with your situation.
I hear you and good luck. Makes sense to just enjoy it and see where it leads..
"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people."
"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision."
- Eleanor Roosevelt (both quotes)
(taking a break from posting starting late august 2009)