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Old 02-24-2009, 07:51 PM   #21
 
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is he threatening you or has he threatened your life in the past? even if it was implied? have you tried to break it off with him in the past and was manipulated into not doing it?
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:52 PM   #22
 
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Originally Posted by littlemisscurly View Post
I'm so scared
What are you afraid of? That he will hurt himself, of that he will hurt you?
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:53 PM   #23
 
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It's taking every last bit of self controlI have not to drive to him right now
why? hes okay and your are okay for the moment. leave it at that for now. its your safety you need to worry about, not his feelings.
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:54 PM   #24
 
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That he'll hurt himself or I'll hurt myself
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:55 PM   #25
 
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It's taking every last bit of self controlI have not to drive to him right now
Listen: he put his hands around your throat. He tried to hurt you! You absolutely must protect yourself right now. If he is prone to violence you cannot go to him.

Lock your doors, now. Sit down and calm down. The other posters are right; if he's abusive, he needs professional help, and going to see him right now will not help anything. You need to call the police and file a report so that he will realize the magnitude of his actions and be forced to get help. This is abuse.
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:56 PM   #26
 
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okay, yall both need to talk to someone. sounds like you are toxic for each other and some distance may not be a bad thing. If you are feeling like you may hurt yourself you need to get on the phone and ring them until somebody in your family answers. im.not.kidding............
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:57 PM   #27
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemisscurly View Post
I'm so scared
What are you afraid of? That he will hurt himself, of that he will hurt you?
Or maybe you are afraid he won't come back? Can you explain more?
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Old 02-24-2009, 07:58 PM   #28
 
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Please call someone. ANYONE. This is NOT your fault.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:00 PM   #29
 
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or I'll hurt myself

what? Are you in the united states? 1-800-784-2433.

Breath deep.
Know that we all care.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:02 PM   #30
 
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Call the police file a report. Call a domestic abuse line too if you have no one else to help support you.

There is NOTHING you can do to deserve that kind of response. Stop worrying about messing up his life. He already did that for himself. He is already his abusive father the day he raised his hand to you. Now you need to take care of yourself.

it is not your responsibility to take care of him. Your only responsibility is yourself. You don't owe him anything. Calling the police is the best thing you can do for yourself AND HIM. He needs professional help and to know the consequences of his actions.

And no those aren't just a few bruises. HE TRIED TO KILL YOU! Please, just call the police and cut off all contact with him.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:08 PM   #31
 
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemisscurly View Post
or I'll hurt myself

what? Are you in the united states? 1-800-784-2433.

Breath deep.
Know that we all care.
Adding the number for domestic abuse hotline

1-800-799-7233
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:32 PM   #32
 
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Originally Posted by littlemisscurly View Post
or I'll hurt myself


You need medical care. NOW. Please get it.
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Old 02-24-2009, 08:35 PM   #33
 
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I just thought of something that helped me.

If someone came to you and told you a similar story would you think they provoked him?

Think about the women you seen today, or even think of us, would you want any of them to go through that, to feel the way you do right now? The way HE made you feel?

Please take care of yourself. Check in on us and let us know your ok when you get the chance please. We're all worried about you.
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:09 PM   #34
 
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I don't think you should stay where you are tonight. I worry that he might come back and try to hurt you again or who knows what. Please leave and go stay with a friend or family member. If they truly care about you (which I'm sure they do) it won't matter what time it is.

Please call the police and file a report against him. He needs to learn that this is not acceptable and there are consequences. He should not be able to get away with hurting you or anyone like that.

Also, please end your relationship with this person.
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:41 AM   #35
 
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Thank you all so much for your support. After your words of encouragement I phoned a friend of mine and he came right over and was disappointed I'd waited so long. We sat on the sofa and watched a movie while before going for a very early morning walk up the local hill to watch the sunrise then he made me eat a huge breakfast.

I still haven't heard from R (the boyfriend) and I know I should just count myself lucky but I'm scared, and worried about him and my flat already feels empty. Not to mention a *****y e-mail i've had from his best friend.

I can't thank you all enough for your support, you'll never know how much you've helped. now I just need to be strong enough to get through the next bit.
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Old 02-25-2009, 04:37 AM   #36
 
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littlemisscurly.........Get out of this relationship and don't look back.
He put his hands on you, end of story.
Plenty of people have problems depression etc., they don't grab people by the throat during an argument.(provoked or not)
Don't worry about him texting , calling. forget him.
Please take care of yourself.
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Old 02-25-2009, 06:00 AM   #37
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YOU DID NOT PROVOKE HIM.

Abusers try to make their victims think that. But there's nothing you could do that would excuse him trying to choke you.

Trying to continue the relationship could end up with you in hospital or dead.
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Old 02-25-2009, 06:33 AM   #38
 
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Originally Posted by littlemisscurly View Post
Thank you all so much for your support. After your words of encouragement I phoned a friend of mine and he came right over and was disappointed I'd waited so long. We sat on the sofa and watched a movie while before going for a very early morning walk up the local hill to watch the sunrise then he made me eat a huge breakfast.

I still haven't heard from R (the boyfriend) and I know I should just count myself lucky but I'm scared, and worried about him and my flat already feels empty. Not to mention a *****y e-mail i've had from his best friend.

I can't thank you all enough for your support, you'll never know how much you've helped. now I just need to be strong enough to get through the next bit.
FYI - a friend of mine's boyfriend did this to her. First time he put his hands around her throat. She left him after that, but they were still in school at the same college. Second time he put his hands around her throat and squeezed. Third time he did this again. A week later she had a stroke that has left her paralyzed for life on the right side. The doctors said that it was likely caused by the repeated strangling. They can't be 100% certain, but there are very few resons an otherwise healthy 20 year-old has a stroke.
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Old 02-25-2009, 07:13 AM   #39
 
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Please listen to what everyone has said on here. Its a different time frame for me, but Im guessing you are on the day after this happened? It sounds like you rang a friend who came over- good. But please now report him, this is incredibly serious, he attacked and tried to kill you. You are a smart woman, so please please do the smart thing. He needs help, and you covering for him, isn't going to get him that help. Nothing you said or did is any excuse to do this, he is manipulating you into thinking that. Abusers always blame the victims. Be strong, stay safe and go straight to the police. I would also take the email to the police. And do not, for any reason initiate contact with him from now on. You deserve so much more than this. Do you honestly want to live the rest of your life in fear, and constant worry that it could happen again? That next time it could be your children (if you go on to have a family together)?
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Old 02-25-2009, 07:27 AM   #40
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuZenGuide View Post
YOU DID NOT PROVOKE HIM.

Abusers try to make their victims think that. But there's nothing you could do that would excuse him trying to choke you.

Trying to continue the relationship could end up with you in hospital or dead.
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