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Old 02-25-2009, 10:15 AM   #61
 
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Quote:
Abuse Signs
You may be becoming or already are a victim of abuse if you:
  • Feel like you have to "walk on eggshells" to keep him from getting angry and are frightened by his temper.
  • Feel you can't live without him.
  • Stop seeing other friends or family, or give up activities you enjoy because he doesn't like them.
  • Are afraid to tell him your worries and feelings about the relationship.
  • Are often compliant because you are afraid to hurt his feelings; and have the urge to "rescue" him when he is troubled.
  • Feel that you are the only one who can help him and that you should try to "reform" him.
  • Find yourself apologizing to yourself or others for your partner's behaviour when you are treated badly.
  • Stop expressing opinions if he doesn't agree with them.
  • Stay because you feel he will kill himself if you leave.
  • Believe that his jealousy is a sign of love.
  • Have been kicked, hit, shoved, or had things thrown at you by him when he was jealous or angry.
  • Believe the critical things he says to make you feel bad about yourself.
  • Believe that there is something wrong with you if you don't enjoy the sexual things he makes you do.
  • Believe in the traditional ideas of what a man and a woman should be and do -- that the man makes the decisions and the woman pleases him. (I didn't believe it, but he sure did!)
  • (some people) Have been abused as a child or seen your mother abused.
If you are abused:
  • You are not alone and you are not to blame. You cannot control his violence. There are ways you can make yourself safer:
  • Call the police if you have been assaulted. Charging abusive males is a necessary step in reducing physical violence.
  • Tell someone and keep a record of all incidents for evidence.
  • Write down the details for yourself as soon as possible after the assault. Keep it in a safe place where he won't find it.
  • Develop a safety plan. Memorize emergency numbers. Keep spare house and car keys handy. Know where you can stay in an emergency.
  • Consider ending the relationship as soon as possible. Without intervention, his violence will increase in frequency and severity as time passes.
  • Recognize that no one has the right to control you and that it is everyone's human right to live without fear.
Look out for men who:
  • Do not listen to you, ignore you or talk over you.
  • Sit or stand too close to you, making you uncomfortable and seem to enjoy it.
  • Do only what they want or push you to get what they want.
  • Express anger and violence towards women either through words or physically.
  • Have a bad attitude toward women.
  • Are overly possessive or jealous.
  • Drink or use drugs heavily.
  • Have a reputation for "scoring".
All the bolded was my ex. And these are very good points! Thanks for posting them. Girl, get the heck out of there and don't look back.
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Old 02-25-2009, 02:55 PM   #62
 
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*sending hugs*

OP, run, don't walk. This guy will only put you in danger. The advice in all the above posts is excellent.

You are not pathetic at all. Your feelings are perfectly understandable and you obviously care about this guy, but physical abuse goes beyond crossing the line on his part and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Real men don't hit women. Period.
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Old 02-25-2009, 09:08 PM   #63
 
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I was there & it lasted for 5 years. PM me. Worst relationship & regret I ever had.
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From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:38 AM   #64
 
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Hi LittleMissCurly, Just checking on you. I hope that everything is going good for you. <<HUGS>>
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Old 02-27-2009, 09:39 AM   #65
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maria_i View Post
Hi LittleMissCurly, Just checking on you. I hope that everything is going good for you. <<HUGS>>
Yeah, Still thinking about you.
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Old 02-27-2009, 10:18 AM   #66
 
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did you know 'crazy' (whether depressed, bipolar, whatever) are actually NOT more violent?

don't let his depression be an excuse. depression doesn't make other people cause harm.

he needs professional help - of some kind. if you really want to help him, call the police.

*hugs*
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