Dating & different schedules

Have any of you ever dated a guy that had a completely different work schedule than you? How did it work and can it be done? I'm seeing this guy who works Wed - Saturday and usually doesn't get off until anywhere from 1-3 a.m. His days off are Sunday and Monday, and sometimes he works Tuesdays and sometimes not. I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever done this?

ETA: I work M-F pretty much 8-5, staying at the latest til 7pm.

Last edited by Amandacurls; 02-26-2009 at 03:00 PM.
I hear you :/

Mine works Sat-Tues, 11pm-9am and I work 730am - about 6pm Mon-Fri.

They're not STRICTLY opposite, but it definitely limits the time we get to spend together. We talk (usually online, because one or both of us are at work) whenever we can, and usually see one another on Friday nights and Saturday morning/afternoons. SOMETIMES we'll get together for dinner during a weekday (after my work, before his) but that's hard. Neither of us want to go when it's time lol

It can be done, but it's not an ideal situation, that's for sure. Still, if it's worth it, it's worth it

At least you both have Sunday off. We don't even have 1 solid day where we're both off unless one of us intentionally takes a vacation/personal day from work
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Last edited by MimsTX; 02-26-2009 at 03:50 PM.
DH were like this for most our first year. He worked basically a 1st shift job, me 2nd.

We could hang out or talk for about an hour or so after I got home and before he had to go to bed. I was working at a semi-flexible schedule type job, so I tried to get the same day off as him each week whenever I could. He would call me during his breaks during the day before I had to work, and come eat with me during my dinner break at work sometimes.
I not only dated a guy like that, I married him. Didn't work out. The divorce wasn't completely the fault of the totally-different schedules, but it certainly didn't help. He was off during the day, which gave him plenty of time to pull his shenanigans while I was at work. I'm sure a guy who isn't as shenanigans-prone wouldn't do that, but for those that are...it just gives them more opportunity.
Is this about the Democrat? I've been meaning to ask if you're still seeing him
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Yup - my current boyfriend. He works nights, I work days. We make it work out - it takes cooperation and patience on both our parts, but we do. We see each other at least three times a week. Thursdays we have dinner together - I stay a little later in the city and he comes in a little earlier. Saturdays - he sleeps most of the day since he works Friday nights, but then I go out to his house in the evenings. Sunday we spend the whole day together. I mean, it's not an ideal schedule, but we figured out a way to make it work.
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I wouldn't want to date someone under those circumstances, but if I really liked him, I don't think it would matter. I've never done it though and always dated professionals with a schedule similar to mine.
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My boyfriend works Sunday-Friday 10pm-7am. I go to class Monday-Thursday 8am-3pm and work Friday-Sunday anywhere from 6am or 7am until 1pm or 2pm.

By time I am out of class and done homework, my boyfriend is sleeping before going into work. I basically see him maybe friday night and saturday night. It has been hard on us but so far we are making it work.
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When we were dating, I worked M-F, 8-5; DH worked Sat-Wed midnight to 8:30am. We had a short courtship & engagement, but obviously we made it work.

For the first ten months of our marriage, his hours changed to M-F (and some Saturdays) 2pm - 10:30, and then morphing to 4:30pm - 1am. Many times we felt like 2 ships passing in the night, but we made the most of our time together, albeit short. For the last 1.5 years, his schedule has been pretty normal.

But it can be done - if you want an extreme example, my dad worked 3rd shift for 18 years, and then on 2nd shift for another 4 years after that. Somehow they made it work - when it comes to true love, you make the time up.
We are having quite the problems with scheduling but yes, it can be done. He has to compromise staying up late once a week (I get off at 10) and I have to compromise by getting up early and hitting the gym with him before work ( I go to the gym at 11) Then we spend all weekend together. I only have 2 more weeks until Im free of the whole job thing but I work the next 12 days in a row, 12 hour shifts so we wont be seeing each other much

It can be done, but you both have to make an effort, not just one of you.
"Someday love will find you...break those chains that bind you!!"







Yes, my husband.

He worked nights for half of the week (I was trying to figure out the days, I think it was Sat - Tues from 6pm to 6am, I can't remember it was 10 years ago). He also lived an hour away. I worked Sun - Thurs from 7 to 5 or something like that. Oh, and he switched from nights to days every 5 months.

We saw each other once a week, maybe twice. We did this for a year, then moved in together. Still did it after getting married, and my scheduled changed to 3 days a week as well (12 hour days). So, when he worked nights and I worked days, it was rough, but when we were both on days it was easier.

Had a baby. I got laid off, found a new job, 5 days a week, baby in child care twice a week. I went back to the 3 days a week job, then got transferred to nights. So, we worked opposite days of the week again, both worked nights and had a kid. IT SUCKED. BAD. REAL BAD. We never saw each other. He'd come home Wed. AM and sleep all day, I would be home alone with kid trying to keep it quiet for him, etc. Then, I'd go to work Thursday night, and he'd stay home with kid.

He got a regular M-F job during the day. I got a M-F job during the day. We paid for full time child care, which SUCKS, but we saw each other all the time and got to eat dinner together as a family.

Had another kid (finally). Still working full time days, etc.

SO, in short (too late), it can work if you both really want it to.
My husband and I don't have opposite shifts, but our hours are different enough that I have a lot of free time without him. We do have Sundays together, so that's nice.
I have also dated guys in the past...well, one to be exact...that had pretty much an opposite shift from mine. We just made the best of the time we had together.

Now, with my husband, I enjoy having my "me" time, so I'm okay with coming home alone for several hours and having my Saturdays free. We have our later evenings together, we'll go out on Saturday nights (starting our outting rather late, actually), and we spend all day Sunday together. I've always been kind of a loner, so I'm actually okay with this arrangement. It just makes me value the time we do have together.
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I work 2-10 or 2-11 Tues through Sat. Anyone dating me just has to deal with that. I don't like going out on Friday nights because Saturday is my busiest work day. Things often have to be crammed in on Sundays. I can request a slow day (Tues/Wed/Thurs) off once in a while if I have a couple of weeks notice.

I much prefer dating other non tradtional hour workers.
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I'm a nurse and have always done shift work, nights for the last 17 years. My SO has always worked more or less 9-5, M-F. We've just worked round it, it's never been much of a problem, just a bit inconvenient at times. Definitely do-able.

And like vegas_curls, my parents made it work. My dad worked a 3 week rota of first shift, back shift and nights, whilst my mum had an office job with regular hours.
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I not only dated a guy like that, I married him. Didn't work out. The divorce wasn't completely the fault of the totally-different schedules, but it certainly didn't help. He was off during the day, which gave him plenty of time to pull his shenanigans while I was at work. I'm sure a guy who isn't as shenanigans-prone wouldn't do that, but for those that are...it just gives them more opportunity.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Yep. My last ex cheated on me when I worked 2nd shift and he worked 1st. Of course, the guy has to be an a**hole to do that, so hopefully OP isn't dating someone like that.

When I switched my schedule to 3rd shift it actually made it easier for me to date because I can get up and go to dinner or hang out before work during the week and then I have Fridays & Saturdays off so I still have a weekend.
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Last edited by JillH410; 02-26-2009 at 10:59 PM.
SO and I are long distance AND on totally different schedules. He goes to class Monday through Friday during the day, and I work Tuesday through Saturday from 4 p.m. to midnight. When we do see each other, things get tricky.

If I'm going to him, I leave Saturday after work and get there about 3 a.m. We try to get up early Sunday, and we have that day together. Then I sit in his place while he's at class Monday. I leave Tuesday during a break in one of his classes. When he comes here, it's Friday. We see each other for a few hours before work. I come home, we spend some time together and go to bed. He hangs out here while I'm at work Saturday, and then we have most of Sunday together before he leaves, since he has class early Monday.

I also like to sleep way late because I get home and go to bed so late, but there's compromise on that when we have limited time. But it hasn't put any stress on our relationship. We're building lives/careers, so we're understanding and supportive. It's definitely doable.
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I was dating a guy for a couple of months and then out of nowhere he dropped off the face of the earth and stopped talking to me for over a month. Well, tonight he tried to get me to come over and blamed being busy with work and school for not calling me. I told him it was not going to happen because he hurt me too much...Part of me wants to forgive him because I really liked him and I think I still do... I just feel like crap right now.
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I was dating a guy for a couple of months and then out of nowhere he dropped off the face of the earth and stopped talking to me for over a month. Well, tonight he tried to get me to come over and blamed being busy with work and school for not calling me. I told him it was not going to happen because he hurt me too much...Part of me wants to forgive him because I really liked him and I think I still do... I just feel like crap right now.
Originally Posted by FloatyTheFish
This might sound harsh, and it absolutely isn't meant that way. It's just something I could never get into my own hard head until something someone said finally clicked. BELIEVE ME, i've been where you are and i let it go on for YEARS before i finally realized I deserved better than to have someone playing "Watch me disappear" every few months.

If he was into you.... if he was truly interested in the way that you deserve to have someone interested in you, he would have found a way to call or see you. There's not really any other way around it. If he wanted to bad enough (and let's face it, you're worth someone REALLY wanting to get in touch with you), he would have done it. I'll even go so far as to say that even if there was some kind of ridiculous emergency, he STILL would have found a way to get in touch.

A couple of months is plenty of time to get to know someone, and no matter what was going on in his life, if he was as into you as he was making you think, he would have wanted you to be a part of it.

So don't fall for that crap. He was either too lazy or too undecided to care about your feelings before. Don't make the mistake of thinking that's changed now. Go find tyourself someone who thinks the sun shines out of your a$$ and wants you to know about it all the time. You don't deserve anything less
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Is this about the Democrat? I've been meaning to ask if you're still seeing him
Originally Posted by PixieCurl
No........it isn't him. The democrat started calling me only late at night and asking me to come over and I was like. I never gave him the impression I was up for that. Like I think we had kissed a total of 5 times and no like making out. He also kind of thought he was God's gift to women and was bragging a lot about having to go pick up his mom's Mercedes from the shop and how much money he had. The last straw was he was supposed to come to my bday dinner and decided to go visit friends and party in Dallas for the weekend, so I just quit taking his calls.

I met this guy recently and things have been going really well. He's very mature, he's 29, doesn't live with his parents, has a good job, and is pretty much one of the nicest guys I've met. I'm not rushing into anything, my mom was freaking out about our different schedules, so I was seeing how other people have made it work. Only thing that scared me was he has the same name as my evil exboyfriend, but they are nothing alike so the comparison ends there.
I worked M-Th from 8-6 or so and Fri 8-12, and my husband worked Fri 1-11pm and Sat, Sun 8am-11pm.

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