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Old 03-01-2009, 11:40 AM   #21
 
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Wow. I know I can't make decisions for Rihanna, but, is she frigging crazy?

What the hell?

You go back to the person who leaves you bite marks, a split lip and contusions? You go back to Chris Brown, when he beat the life out of you? You accept him even though he caused you a great deal of unnecessary pain?

How.the.hell.does.her.mind.work.

Wow. I cannot wrap my head around that. If anyone, and I mean anyone, even Chris "woman - beater" Brown did anything to hurt me at all, I would be out of his life faster than I could say goodbye. I would do my absolute best to press charges, making sure he rots in a jail cell for as long as possible.

But.no.

Rihanna thinks "oh, it was a mistake, he would never do it again, ever, he loves me and he's trying to be a better person."

Heck no! He's just waiting until the next time he can slap her 'cross her face. How many times is she gonna go back to him until she finally realizes that people like him don't change? He can't rewind the past, stop his step dad from beating on his mother.

And why the hell are so many people supporting him? I hear these interviews, and they're "wishing him the best."

Celebrities are cowards. Damn. Rihanna is stupid! Ugh.
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:41 AM   #22
 
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nappy_curly_crown,
we want her to be strong. if not for herself, but for the example she is setting for others. we want the people around her to be strong for her even though she may want him back and want to forgive him. i know that there is love there and you just can't squash that in an instant, but there are some things that have to take priority over your feelings: your safety.
he did not marry this woman. she owes him nothing. HE WAS CHEATING ON HER. those are 2 significant reasons why she should pay it dust and keep it movin' (<not sure what that means but it sounds cool when gay men say it and i think it applies).

as for diddy. remember when he tried to hit laurie ann gibson with a chair on making the band WITH THE MTV CAMERAS ROLLING?
Quote:
In the complaint filed with Manhattan cops May 11, Gibson said she got into a heated argument with Diddy and celebrity judge Michael Bivins during the April 25 filming of the MTv Shows at a branch of New York Sports Club in Greenwich Village.
Gibson said the two men started yelling and cursing at her when she told them the dancers had been given only a day to practice in order to see what they would do in a crunch.
Bivins then allegedly grabbed her while Diddy picked up a chair and threatened her. She said she broke free, tried to run and Bivins allegedly grabbed her once again. Then she left, the complaint stated.
Sources said Diddy fired her during the angry exhange - and at one point yelled for the MTV cameras to be shut off.
for the life of me, where are all the women who have been abused in the hip hop community?? why aren't they speaking out??

no, she's not stupid, but the adults around her with experience are.

(wth? it's snowing like crazy here)
I understand what you *general u* want for her. You want her to stand up and be a role model for all the other women that maybe going through this. But that takes an incredible amount of inner strength, not to mention, she is only 21...a baby!

My point is that if the people close to her respond in the manner that many of you here have, its no wonder why they are back together so soon. You don't beat someone up to make them strong...that tears them down even farther....espically when the person has already gone through one tramatic experience. As far as I know...it is alleged that he cheated on her. It is also alleged that she cheated on him (with Jay-Z) and gave him herpes. This is a big ole pile of MESS and we *the folks not privy to the real story* will never know for sure what happened.

I personally hate how people are trying to force her to be a role model for domestic abuse when she is literally still in the middle of her darkest hour. She hasn't even had time to find clarity or to really deal with what has happend to her. She's got fans and media discussing what happened to her and trying to make her a poster child. She's got folks talking about she caused this to happen and that she brought it on herself, her picture has been plastered all over the net and magazines all brused and busted up. She's got people analysing her sexual history/std status and she's dealing with all the other emotional stuff that comes with this situation. DAYUM....allow the girl to breath and work through this like the normal person that she is.
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:24 PM   #23
 
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Nappy_curly, I said something similar in the other Rihanna thread. I agree with you 110%. I wish everyone would back off the poor girl. She's got a lot to sort through.
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:33 PM   #24
 
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They say that the average woman dealing with DV goes back to her attacker about 7 times before she leaves him for good. Who knows what number this time will be for her, I just hope that she doesn't get seriously injured or killed before she finally decides that she has had enough.

I have to admit that this case is not so easy for me to comprehend. Part of me is like who is Chris Brown that he could make you forgive & forget so easily? This woman is beautiful, famous, and makes a good deal of money. I feel like she could have 10 Chris Brown's at her beck and call if she wanted. Heck, I'd feel like that if I were in her situation now, and I'm just average ol' Curlycurlies.

It makes me wonder a little about her home life, esp. since hearing/reading the lukewarm statements that her dad has made.
From my observation and experience, it's not always about that.

On another note, I'm hoping this case turns out differently than most. Most abusers haven't been outed to the entire world or risk losing their careers, reputations and millions of fans because of what they've done. I'm hoping that all of this public pressure will make him less likely to abuse, especially given that he has all the money in the world to get some real help.
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Old 03-01-2009, 12:36 PM   #25
 
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Originally Posted by Nappy_curly_crown View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by frau View Post
nappy_curly_crown,
we want her to be strong. if not for herself, but for the example she is setting for others. we want the people around her to be strong for her even though she may want him back and want to forgive him. i know that there is love there and you just can't squash that in an instant, but there are some things that have to take priority over your feelings: your safety.
he did not marry this woman. she owes him nothing. HE WAS CHEATING ON HER. those are 2 significant reasons why she should pay it dust and keep it movin' (<not sure what that means but it sounds cool when gay men say it and i think it applies).

as for diddy. remember when he tried to hit laurie ann gibson with a chair on making the band WITH THE MTV CAMERAS ROLLING?
Quote:
In the complaint filed with Manhattan cops May 11, Gibson said she got into a heated argument with Diddy and celebrity judge Michael Bivins during the April 25 filming of the MTv Shows at a branch of New York Sports Club in Greenwich Village.
Gibson said the two men started yelling and cursing at her when she told them the dancers had been given only a day to practice in order to see what they would do in a crunch.
Bivins then allegedly grabbed her while Diddy picked up a chair and threatened her. She said she broke free, tried to run and Bivins allegedly grabbed her once again. Then she left, the complaint stated.
Sources said Diddy fired her during the angry exhange - and at one point yelled for the MTV cameras to be shut off.
for the life of me, where are all the women who have been abused in the hip hop community?? why aren't they speaking out??

no, she's not stupid, but the adults around her with experience are.

(wth? it's snowing like crazy here)
I understand what you *general u* want for her. You want her to stand up and be a role model for all the other women that maybe going through this. But that takes an incredible amount of inner strength, not to mention, she is only 21...a baby!

My point is that if the people close to her respond in the manner that many of you here have, its no wonder why they are back together so soon. You don't beat someone up to make them strong...that tears them down even farther....espically when the person has already gone through one tramatic experience. As far as I know...it is alleged that he cheated on her. It is also alleged that she cheated on him (with Jay-Z) and gave him herpes. This is a big ole pile of MESS and we *the folks not privy to the real story* will never know for sure what happened.

I personally hate how people are trying to force her to be a role model for domestic abuse when she is literally still in the middle of her darkest hour. She hasn't even had time to find clarity or to really deal with what has happend to her. She's got fans and media discussing what happened to her and trying to make her a poster child. She's got folks talking about she caused this to happen and that she brought it on herself, her picture has been plastered all over the net and magazines all brused and busted up. She's got people analysing her sexual history/std status and she's dealing with all the other emotional stuff that comes with this situation. DAYUM....allow the girl to breath and work through this like the normal person that she is.
I agree with the bolded. I don't think it helps to call her "stupid." How come people aren't jumping all over those comments as being judgmental?

And I really don't see this as a hip hop problem.
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Old 03-01-2009, 05:37 PM   #26
 
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Originally Posted by Amneris View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nappy_curly_crown View Post
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Originally Posted by frau View Post
nappy_curly_crown,
we want her to be strong. if not for herself, but for the example she is setting for others. we want the people around her to be strong for her even though she may want him back and want to forgive him. i know that there is love there and you just can't squash that in an instant, but there are some things that have to take priority over your feelings: your safety.
he did not marry this woman. she owes him nothing. HE WAS CHEATING ON HER. those are 2 significant reasons why she should pay it dust and keep it movin' (<not sure what that means but it sounds cool when gay men say it and i think it applies).

as for diddy. remember when he tried to hit laurie ann gibson with a chair on making the band WITH THE MTV CAMERAS ROLLING?


for the life of me, where are all the women who have been abused in the hip hop community?? why aren't they speaking out??

no, she's not stupid, but the adults around her with experience are.

(wth? it's snowing like crazy here)
I understand what you *general u* want for her. You want her to stand up and be a role model for all the other women that maybe going through this. But that takes an incredible amount of inner strength, not to mention, she is only 21...a baby!

My point is that if the people close to her respond in the manner that many of you here have, its no wonder why they are back together so soon. You don't beat someone up to make them strong...that tears them down even farther....espically when the person has already gone through one tramatic experience. As far as I know...it is alleged that he cheated on her. It is also alleged that she cheated on him (with Jay-Z) and gave him herpes. This is a big ole pile of MESS and we *the folks not privy to the real story* will never know for sure what happened.

I personally hate how people are trying to force her to be a role model for domestic abuse when she is literally still in the middle of her darkest hour. She hasn't even had time to find clarity or to really deal with what has happend to her. She's got fans and media discussing what happened to her and trying to make her a poster child. She's got folks talking about she caused this to happen and that she brought it on herself, her picture has been plastered all over the net and magazines all brused and busted up. She's got people analysing her sexual history/std status and she's dealing with all the other emotional stuff that comes with this situation. DAYUM....allow the girl to breath and work through this like the normal person that she is.
I agree with the bolded. I don't think it helps to call her "stupid." How come people aren't jumping all over those comments as being judgmental?

And I really don't see this as a hip hop problem.
Including yourself, at least 3 people did.

Poor girl. I hope she gets the help she needs to walk away from this guy. I hope he gets some help, too.
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Old 03-01-2009, 06:25 PM   #27
 
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I understand what you *general u* want for her. You want her to stand up and be a role model for all the other women that maybe going through this. But that takes an incredible amount of inner strength, not to mention, she is only 21...a baby!

My point is that if the people close to her respond in the manner that many of you here have, its no wonder why they are back together so soon. You don't beat someone up to make them strong...that tears them down even farther....espically when the person has already gone through one tramatic experience. As far as I know...it is alleged that he cheated on her. It is also alleged that she cheated on him (with Jay-Z) and gave him herpes. This is a big ole pile of MESS and we *the folks not privy to the real story* will never know for sure what happened.

I personally hate how people are trying to force her to be a role model for domestic abuse when she is literally still in the middle of her darkest hour. She hasn't even had time to find clarity or to really deal with what has happend to her. She's got fans and media discussing what happened to her and trying to make her a poster child. She's got folks talking about she caused this to happen and that she brought it on herself, her picture has been plastered all over the net and magazines all brused and busted up. She's got people analysing her sexual history/std status and she's dealing with all the other emotional stuff that comes with this situation. DAYUM....allow the girl to breath and work through this like the normal person that she is.
I agree with the bolded. I don't think it helps to call her "stupid." How come people aren't jumping all over those comments as being judgmental?

And I really don't see this as a hip hop problem.
Including yourself, at least 3 people did.

Poor girl. I hope she gets the help she needs to walk away from this guy. I hope he gets some help, too.

I didn't judge her did I? Where?
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Old 03-01-2009, 06:35 PM   #28
 
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I didn't say you were judging Rhianna...I said that you, ncc and battinlash said the "stupid" comments were judgmental.
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Old 03-01-2009, 07:55 PM   #29
 
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I am sad that she is dating him again. 3 weeks isn't enough time for him to have made any dramatic changes that will keep her from danger in the future. He did some serious physical damage to her and if she is in so deep that it wasn't a deal breaker then I can't imagine what it will take for her to leave him and find someone who won't beat her up. I hope they don't have a baby or get married to fix the situation and prove they are really in love and meant to be together.

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Old 03-01-2009, 08:35 PM   #30
 
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How.the.hell.does.her.mind.work.

Celebrities are cowards. Damn. Rihanna is stupid! Ugh.
Unfortunately, this is what a significant number of (most?) victims of domestic violence do. There's nothing wrong with her mind. She's behaving normally

I think a better question would be, how does Chris Brown's mind work? We all know that he witnessed his father's abuse of his mother. Subjecting a child to that is a form of emotional abuse. However, the responsibility is primarily Brown's.

Asking why Rhianna does this places the blame on her, as though Brown can't help himself. However, Rhianna and Brown probably can't help themselves, to the same extent as each other. At least Rhianna is better off than many other abused girl/boyfriends. She is not financially dependent on her abuser.

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Old 03-01-2009, 08:44 PM   #31
 
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I was kinda hoping that her being a celebrity would help her (long shot I know obviously ) I was hoping that since she and Brown are both in the public eye she would be too embarrassed to get back with Brown and would get counseling and live happily ever after. I forgot this is the real world and often times there is no happily ever after
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Old 03-01-2009, 08:59 PM   #32
 
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When I had first heard about the incident I thought, 'Chris Brown? Beat Rihanna? No way, the media got it all wrong, it can't be him.' But the truth is, you really don't know a person until you've met them and spent time with them, then you get to see a person's true colors.
I'm still not completely sure about the whole incident but I know that I would NEVER go back to a man who hit me. Even if he said it was an "accident" and that it would never happen again. The bottom line is that women are worth so much more then that. Women deserve to have a man that won't hurt her in any way, mind, body, or spirit, and hopefully, if chris brown really did beat rihanna, rihanna will realize her self worth and move on to a better guy.
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Old 03-01-2009, 09:15 PM   #33
 
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i have been in an emotionally abusive situation. it really hurts when the one you love hurts you. even if someone does or says something horrible to you, you don't fall out of love with them instaneously. it just doesn't happen. you can get mad and be pissed off but because you love them (and are a loving person) you don't just stop. the best thing that can happen to someone who is abused for the abuser to leave you alone completely. that's what happened to me too bad it didn't happen for rihanna.

i say we should cut her some slack and not judge but be empathetic...she probably "feels" stupid and is so hurt and confused....i wish i could hug her. again....where is her mother?
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Old 03-02-2009, 06:50 AM   #34
 
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wth? are y'all crazy with this advice? are you serious? let her work it through? if my daughter walked in with a drug dealer as a boyfriend do you think i'd let her date him and let her figure it out? if her current boyfriend hit her do you think i'd let her stay in a relationship with him?

when i was 21 i lived with a guy who i argued with a lot. we were friends since high school. one day we were arguing in front of my mother and he pushed me so hard i fell down. guess what? his sht was out the house within hours. i was not allowed to speak to him again. i never did, ever. end of story.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:00 AM   #35
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cali View Post
How.the.hell.does.her.mind.work.

Celebrities are cowards. Damn. Rihanna is stupid! Ugh.
Unfortunately, this is what a significant number of (most?) victims of domestic violence do. There's nothing wrong with her mind. She's behaving normally

I think a better question would be, how does Chris Brown's mind work? We all know that he witnessed his father's abuse of his mother. Subjecting a child to that is a form of emotional abuse. However, the responsibility is primarily Brown's.

Asking why Rhianna does this places the blame on her, as though Brown can't help himself. However, Rhianna and Brown probably can't help themselves, to the same extent as each other. At least Rhianna is better off than many other abused girl/boyfriends. She is not financially dependent on her abuser.
His stepfather denies these allegations.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:01 AM   #36
 
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wth? are y'all crazy with this advice? are you serious? let her work it through? if my daughter walked in with a drug dealer as a boyfriend do you think i'd let her date him and let her figure it out? if her current boyfriend hit her do you think i'd let her stay in a relationship with him?

when i was 21 i lived with a guy who i argued with a lot. we were friends since high school. one day we were arguing in front of my mother and he pushed me so hard i fell down. guess what? his sht was out the house within hours. i was not allowed to speak to him again. i never did, ever. end of story.
OH MY GOD! HE PUSHED YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER?!!! That would be the LAST voluntary move that guy made if someone did that in front of me to my girls. Although I am sure my husband and I would both be in jail after that what with the death threats and severe beating we gave him.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:06 AM   #37
 
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^^^exactly, and that is how everyone around rihanna should've responded. rihanna should be made to feel like she is more precious than anything on this earth and no man, no matter how rich or famous is allowed to treat but with anything but the utmost of respect.

you know what i'm sensing? that everybody must secretly get a beat down at home if there isn't more outrage. i'm completely lost by all the sympathy chris brown is getting.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:16 AM   #38
 
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wth? are y'all crazy with this advice? are you serious? let her work it through? if my daughter walked in with a drug dealer as a boyfriend do you think i'd let her date him and let her figure it out? if her current boyfriend hit her do you think i'd let her stay in a relationship with him?

when i was 21 i lived with a guy who i argued with a lot. we were friends since high school. one day we were arguing in front of my mother and he pushed me so hard i fell down. guess what? his sht was out the house within hours. i was not allowed to speak to him again. i never did, ever. end of story.
We're not saying to leave them alone so that they can go off into never never land so they can live happily ever after. What we are saying is to give the girl some empathy rather than calling her stupid and crazy and all the other things that we've heard in this thread.

Look at it this way.

Her abuser is saying "I love you...I'm so sorry I did this...you mean the world to me...I'll never let this happen again...OMG I'm so sorry"

If some of you were the folks that love her based on what I've heard here they would be saying "You're such an idiot". "You're F'ing crazy". "WTF are u thinking".

If I've been battered, beaten, and my freaking whole life has just become fodder for the media and masses for public consumption...which one do you think I'll choose? Yeah I'd be headed back to my abuser as well.
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:20 AM   #39
 
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How.the.hell.does.her.mind.work.

Celebrities are cowards. Damn. Rihanna is stupid! Ugh.
Unfortunately, this is what a significant number of (most?) victims of domestic violence do. There's nothing wrong with her mind. She's behaving normally

I think a better question would be, how does Chris Brown's mind work? We all know that he witnessed his father's abuse of his mother. Subjecting a child to that is a form of emotional abuse. However, the responsibility is primarily Brown's.

Asking why Rhianna does this places the blame on her, as though Brown can't help himself. However, Rhianna and Brown probably can't help themselves, to the same extent as each other. At least Rhianna is better off than many other abused girl/boyfriends. She is not financially dependent on her abuser.
His stepfather denies these allegations.
Of course he does....what else is he supposed to say "yeah I beat that a$$ on a regular basis...and what"?
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Old 03-02-2009, 07:21 AM   #40
 
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i didn't call her stupid, did i? but maybe my tone expressed that? i don't expect her to behave rationally cause i sure don't, not in my relationships, lol. i just think the adults around her should step in.

as someone mentioned on another website, maybe we're expending too much energy on this situation. i'm going to leave it alone now and just lurk.
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