Glasses and dating?

Okay so I got to thinking about how glasses are affecting my life. And after seeing a study where guys are less likely to be attracted to a womon when she is wearing glasses. The old "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."

I just realized I do use my glasses as shield against guys and the world. If I haven't worn my contacts in a while I feel exposed when I do. And when I want to feel sexy and beautiful I take them off. When I go clubbing I wouldn't dream of wearing glasses, formal ocassions, etc. And I know I look "prettier" without becuase of the reactions. I always wore glasses to school. Junior prom decided to wear contacts and you should have heard the reactions. Double takes all night long. Even my boss has tip toed around the area on the rare day when I choose to wear contacts, after a few double takes
HIM: "So some days you decide not to wear the glasses?"

ME: "Yeah I don't most days becuase I am very low maintenance so it's easier to pop on glasses in the morning that mess with contacts and makeup."

HIM: "Oh well I didn't recognize you at first. You look..." He couldn't finish the sentence the way he wanted to of course becuase that would have been sexual harassment but you could tell he wanted to say "Prettier" or something along those lines.

And I got to thinking something really scary. I don't think I was wearing glasses the any of the times guys have decided they liked me. There was even on co worker who decided he liked me about 4 months into working with him every day. That night was when a bunch of people met after hours and I was actually trying to attract this OTHER guy. He didn't bite , but this guy did. But I only put two and two together recently. This guy had seen me for months day in and day out with my glasses and only decided to make a pass when I took them off!! I was the same person, without glasses and with makeup.

They were that much a deterrent. Of course, he may have made a few subtle passes before that and I just didn't notice. But either way, it took the glasses coming off before he really got serious pursuing me. And there have been other instances of this from guys. It's just kind of scary to imagine all the dates I missed out on becuase I was wearing glasses.

So I wanted to ask, what is your experience with glasses and your love life? Were you wearing glasses the first time you guys met and were they still interested? How else have glasses affected your life?

Last edited by KinkyKeeper; 03-16-2009 at 12:54 AM.
I rarely wear contacts, they're very uncomfortable. I can understand hiding behind glasses, but I've always had fun with mine. I like fun, funky/trendy glasses that are attractive. Some guys also mentioned that they liked my glasses because it was a "sexy librarian" look.

That being said, I never went out with or really paid too much attention to guys that focused on that type of minutia. My husband doesn't notice that type of stuff and that's peachy with me.

I feel good wearing my funky glasses and I exude that confidence. You said that you feel more confident when you wear contacts, so my reaction to people making passes at you would be them reacting to your confidence, not necessarily that your glasses have been holding you back. So if you feel good wearing contacts, take a few extra minutes to pop in the lenses and doll yourself up. But that's just my 2 cents.
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Last edited by SpinCycle; 03-16-2009 at 01:53 AM.
I've worn glasses since elementary school. I started wearing contacts in high school and at that time I noticed I received more attention.

I met my husband, got married, got an eye infection and stopped wearing my contacts for almost 3 years. We separated I started wearing them when I went out again. Same thing more attention.

Flash forward 15 yrs - I never wear my contacts during the week. Like you it is a big PITA in the morning. Easier to just put on my glasses. I wear my contacts all weekend. I seriously notice no difference anymore. I either get attention or don't regardless of whether I'm wearing them or not. (Exception: If I wear them to work for some reason, people notice because they're not used to seeing me without glasses.) I think it might have something to do with the age of the guys I attract though. They may be less concerned about the superficial. But then again I could be delusional. Or it could just be because it's a different look. Like when I straighten my hair. People notice because I always wear it curly.

My DBF thinks my current glasses are sexy secretary and he's the only guy that I care likes them anyway.
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I didn't read the whole post...But I don't know if it's an attractiveness thing, an intimidation thing or a sexuality thing. Meaning...do guys really find women in glasses less pretty? Do they assume they're smarter, therefore are intimidated by them? Or do theguys assume glasses wearers are bookworms and that bookworms don't put out, so they don't want the women?

idk...

Whatevs...One can be perfectly adorable with glasses or perfectly ugly without.
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Ditto to the "sexy librarian/secretary" comments. lol, every guy I've dated has said the same thing about my glasses, and they've all seemed to prefer me with them, rather than without.

I wore contacts all through high school, and then got lazy in college and never quite grew back out of that laziness. I agree with Spin, it's probably your confidence and makeup, more than the glasses themselves, that are garnering that attention for you. 90% of the time, if I'm in my glasses I don't bother with makeup. If I'm in my contacts though, I HAVE to wear makeup. I feel, like you said, too exposed otherwise.

I say do what works for you, and what you're comfortable with. There are plenty of guys that find glasses attractive though. You just have to find yourself attractive in them too
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The old "boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."
That is very 1950's and I have not observed that to be the case at all. I would bet it has a lot to do with the confidence level you project when you are wearing glasses vs. contacts. Maybe it is time to get some new stylish frames that make you feel great.
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I wear contacts most of the time because it's easier and more comfortable to me. I can feel the glasses on my face and my vision is not as clear and all around. Some people have a face for glasses..I've noticed the few times i wear my glasses, guys seem to like it and my bf loves it. In fact, he tells me to bring them over for 'roleplay', hehe sorry for the tmi.

Overall though I am more attractive w/out the glasses(it's a nice change sometimes). Most of my friends look better w/out glasses too and won't wear theirs in public.

Overall I notice I get more attention from men(coworkers and random) when I look better. This is usually when I'm having a good hair day and wear some makeup. So maybe in your case it's the glasses. That's just natural..

I also think it could be how you portray yourself with your glasses and you confidence level. I have some nice trendy frames and thin non reflective lenses.
I think a lot of it depends on the frames. The frames can give you the frumpy librarian look or the sexy secretary look, depending on your face shape. I personally wear contacts all the time (I love mine, I don't think they are a pain or uncomfortable at all..and I use daily disposables so I get to put in a fresh pair every morning which is nice) and only wear my glasses if I have an infection or something. But I haven't really found a great pair of frames for my face shape yet. I'm still looking for my sexy secretary glasses haha. To that end, since I feel like glasses make me look dorky rather than sexy, I'm sure it affects how I carry myself, and that in and of itself could contribute to the higher level of flirting I get without glasses
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I've had to pretty much give up on contacts — I can only wear gas permeables and as I've gotten older, wearing them is like perpetually having something in my eye.

But I am trying to date, so this thought has occurred to me as well — are glasses helping or hurting my chances of finding a guy?

I don't think that old saying is so very 1950s, there's a lot of truth to it, but it's more subtle and nuanced than: "guys don't like gals who wear glasses, therefore the gal should change herself so that the guy will like her." To explain …

I think, as others have said, it comes down to how you feel wearing them.

But there is also the limbic system to consider. This is the "reptilian" part of the human brain, where some of our most basic sexual behaviors come from. When you're dating or in a relationship with someone, making direct, sustained [and unencumbered] eye contact with them is key to activating the limbic system.

I have found that it actually can be a little dangerous to do this too intensely at too early a stage — it's why people "fall madly in love" very quickly and feel these deep connections with so little factual basis for them, with little history in the relationship. Sometimes that kind of thing works out, but as we all know, many times it doesn't.

I actually find wearing glasses slows things down a bit in that regard and also gets past the superficiality of some men. Both of those factors work in my favor. When things get [legitimately] hot and heavy, the glasses can then come off.

Last edited by wild~hair; 03-16-2009 at 09:23 AM.
I'm an old married lady, but looking waaaaay back, I met all of my beaus when I was wearing contacts. I don't look good in glasses.

Now I wear glasses a lot, and men definitely tend to notice me less when I do. But that is good because I'm not trying to attract anyone but DH.

When I'm out in public, I use my glasses to fly under the radar -- with everyone, not just men. I do think it has to do with my attitude, as well as my looks.
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I only ever (rarely) wear contacts when I want to give my nose a rest (the skin can be a bit red sometimes).

Generally though I think I actually look better with glasses than without. Then again, I am so use to seeing myself with them, that I think I look weird without them.
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Last edited by Mise; 03-16-2009 at 05:33 PM. Reason: because I can't spell!
I guess it depends on the glasses. When I wore glasses, guys dug it. But I got lasik, so I don't need glasses anymore.
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