New job - can't get the hang of it...help?

I am being trained for a job by 2 different people and they both say they hate teaching anyone. Neither has any patience, they are throwing everything at me at once and I'm not catching on. I'm feeling increasingly anxious, angry and resentful. I dread going into work. One of them acts really exasperated if I ask anything and sighs and groans as if I am a moron. There isn't anyone else available to teach me and no written instructions.

I feel it's bad for my self esteem to put up with this humiliation and poor training, but it's so hard to find a job nowadays that I am trying to stick it out. I know if I lose my temper (I'm usually very even tempered) I'll lose this job. Any ideas how to keep calm and learn in this situation?
Speckla
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Can you take notes so you have something to reference?
I second the notes. Maybe it will stop then from throwing things at you so you have a chance to write if down and so that any questions that come up come up as your learning, instead of after.

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Take notes or ask if you can actually record them on tape. Can you talk to their mgr? Or would that be bad?
No MAS.

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Sometimes "experts" forget how long it took them to learn the job. Ask one or both how long it took them to master the job. During training ask them to pause so you can take notes. This is important if a job has no process document. Once they show you ask them to watch how you do it and critique you. Let them know your are grateful that they have the patience to teach you even though they hate teaching. Ignore the sighs and groans; stay neutral. The reaction is not about you, it's about how they hate doing this. Your self esteem is in your hands, as is your anger management. it's not their responsibility.
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Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
Thanks everyone for the advice. I have been taking some notes but the "exasperated" one insists I can't do that while she is teaching me. It's ridiculous - like being in grade school with a horrible, controlling teacher. The other one doesn't mind so I will take more notes when she is training.

Unfortunately, I don't think I would get anywhere with their manager. He loves them. They are both very good at their regular jobs and I'm part-time and expendable - they aren't.

I understand that they don't like having to teach someone - but someone had to teach them! I hope I don't lose my cool - I feel better now that I vented and got some support. I should be able to tell my family/friends but I feel so embarrassed that I'm not doing well. I feel like I should be able to learn this no matter what.
I wonder if a token gift would be appropriate? Even just a card to say how much you appreciate them taking time to help you. That might be considered manipulative though. Admittedly, the goal would be to guilt them into being nicer.
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
Sometimes "experts" forget how long it took them to learn the job. Ask one or both how long it took them to master the job. During training ask them to pause so you can take notes. This is important if a job has no process document. Once they show you ask them to watch how you do it and critique you. Let them know your are grateful that they have the patience to teach you even though they hate teaching. Ignore the sighs and groans; stay neutral. The reaction is not about you, it's about how they hate doing this. Your self esteem is in your hands, as is your anger management. it's not their responsibility.
Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe
This is an excellent response and I agree 100% with everything in this post.

I know it's difficult trying to learn a new job but just be patient with yourself. Everyone has been through the pains and frustrations of learning something new at one point or another.

Are there other people in the department that you can go to for help? I'm in a new position now and I go to many different people for questions so that I am not hitting up the same one or two all the time. Also, I've learned which ones have the patience and which ones don't and I go to the more patient ones more often. Also, taking notes is one of the best things you can do in a new job.
Good luck!
Formerly ladyjag123
Yes, an excellent response from SBB and I appreciate all the responses!

I do need to be patient with myself and not expect to learn instantly. Unfortunately, there is no one in the department except these 2 and now me, so there is no one else I can turn to, but your strategy is a good one. I would certainly go to more patient people if there were any.

Re: giving a gift, I'd like to give them each a box of poison chocolates. One of them has curly hair which she doesn't know how to manage. Maybe I'll give her a big bottle of sulfate loaded shampoo.
giggling...
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
Thanks everyone for the advice. I have been taking some notes but the "exasperated" one insists I can't do that while she is teaching me. It's ridiculous - like being in grade school with a horrible, controlling teacher. The other one doesn't mind so I will take more notes when she is training.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
You might trying saying something like "I just want to make sure that I take good notes so that I don't have to bother you again", or something like that. If she doesn't like teaching, she should appreciate this. If that doesn't work, just write down what you can, and the rest just try to make a brief note to get the other, more patient one to help you.

I know it's difficult right now, but just try to tough it out because once you've been trained and know what you're doing, you won't have to deal with either of them that much, hopefully.
Formerly ladyjag123
I agree with sbb and ladyjag123. I've dealt with women luke this in the workplace. I try to stress how appreciative I am of their help, even though it's their job to show me. The line of getting it right the first time has always helped me and the asking for them to watch me the first time. My office manager isn't the fuzziest of people (I lovingly call her Ajax) and she has managed to cool off a bit when I pull that line.

Good luck and know that it takes time to learn every office's particular method and procedure. Sometimes you just need to grin and find inventive ways to get yourself integrated.

I'm sure you are doing better than you think...

Mix of 3s, thick, coarse, medium porosity

Current hair styling technique: rake with a scrunch at the end. (works with my coarse hair)

http://public.fotki.com/curlymix/
pw: curls

Known HGs: KCCC, homemade fsg, honey
Thanks everyone for the advice. I have been taking some notes but the "exasperated" one insists I can't do that while she is teaching me. It's ridiculous - like being in grade school with a horrible, controlling teacher. The other one doesn't mind so I will take more notes when she is training.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
You might trying saying something like "I just want to make sure that I take good notes so that I don't have to bother you again", or something like that. If she doesn't like teaching, she should appreciate this. If that doesn't work, just write down what you can, and the rest just try to make a brief note to get the other, more patient one to help you.

I know it's difficult right now, but just try to tough it out because once you've been trained and know what you're doing, you won't have to deal with either of them that much, hopefully.
Originally Posted by ladyjag123
I like this idea. Well, now I have an arsenal of different techniques to try.
rainshower's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,000
I have been taking some notes but the "exasperated" one insists I can't do that while she is teaching me.

Unfortunately, I don't think I would get anywhere with their manager. He loves them. They are both very good at their regular jobs and I'm part-time and expendable - they aren't.

I understand that they don't like having to teach someone - but someone had to teach them! I hope I don't lose my cool - I feel better now that I vented and got some support. I should be able to tell my family/friends but I feel so embarrassed that I'm not doing well. I feel like I should be able to learn this no matter what.
Originally Posted by curlypearl
1. what i've learned about people like that is that they don't like to teach because they aren't always knowledgeable of the entire process themselves, so your questions only reminds them that they aren't proficient in their own job responsibilities, which makes them lash out at you. and that's not your fault or responsibility. if your questions calls them out, so be it.

2. if they are told to teach you, then you have a right to take notes. the fact that she told you not to take notes makes me wonder if she doesn't want you documenting an incorrect process that she dictated to you, which could come back to put her skills into question. just something to think about. again, her lack of know-how is not your fault. but i wouldn't accept someone telling me that i can't take notes. what should you do when she's not in the office one day? you'd need your notes to rely on, right?

3. be assertive. if someone tells you not to take notes or that they hate teaching people, don't cower or become angry. just assert to them that the best way for you to learn is to write notes in a way that will be easy for you to interpret so that you won't have to repeatedly come back to the same people asking the same questions. anyone with any intelligence should be able to appreciate that and accommodate.

4. if they become belligerant, then you have a right to be frank. tell them that they have two choices: either you will come to them each and every time you have a question until you can navigate your duties independently, or they will give you detailed instructions to your satisfaction so that you won't have to rely on them holding your hand forever. if they are still arses after that, go to your hiring manager to complain that your colleagues aren't acclimating you to your job properly, which is making it difficult for you to do your work satisfactorily.
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Last edited by rainshower; 04-13-2009 at 06:42 AM.
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May I ask what your job is?
I think SBB is spot on!
Just remember that they we where you were once...may be some one needs to remind them...hang in there!
Code:
btw...love the choco & sulfate idea..lol
May I ask what your job is?
I think SBB is spot on!
Just remember that they we where you were once...may be some one needs to remind them...hang in there!
Code:
btw...love the choco & sulfate idea..lol
Originally Posted by WilePECoyote - The Nudist Poster
I am being trained to be a part-time medical receptionist. Meanwhile, I just found out that they fired the last 3 who worked in this job. Is that ridiculous? These people are clueless. But at least I know now - the problem isn't me!
P.S. The work is actually quite simple - but we are talking about hundreds of different patients each with a different charge, insurance, method of payment etc. I just need time to sort it out - they said I am smarter than the last 3 they fired. Can you imagine?
they said I am smarter than the last 3 they fired.
Red flag Red flag! No--red bedsheet! Start job searching now! If they are training you and you haven't done this before, they are trying to cut corners (or budget) by hiring someone with less experience. And they're insane, because it looks like they've done it and failed multiple times!
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Playing with my hair is a hobby. Fluffy, fine natural 4a. Goal= Healthy, beautiful hair that retains its length.
Quote:
Hear that crash? It's me falling off the CG wagon.
Another good idea when you are learning a new job is to ask the person or persons who are supposed to be training you for a daily 15 minute meeting. Then aggregate your questions and then ask them all in your meeting. If what rainshower said is true, about maybe them not knowing the process all that well themselves, it might help you to email the questions you want to ask ahead of time so that they can find you answers without feeling put on the spot and getting annoyed/defensive because you're asking questions they can't answer.

Be proactive and try to get as much done on your own as you can unless you absolutely hit a brick wall and feel like you have no idea how to continue. When I am training people, I like it when people come to me and say, 'I encountered this situation, I wasn't sure but this is how I handled it, did I do it correctly?' or if the person will at least attempt to put a draft together for me to give feedback on as opposed to someone who stops by and checks in before every move. Not suggesting that is how you are handling it, just trying to give you some tips on being a good 'trainee'.

ETA since they were open with you about firing the last three people, I would ask them where those three went wrong so you can get an idea of how to avoid the same mistakes
I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.

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