Need help w/ last minute wedding gift ideas (long)

I'm not sure how to tell you this background stuff diplomatically so sorry if I unintentionally insult anyone. But I think you need to know this info to help me think of a gift.

DH and I just found out on Easter that his brother is getting married this Saturday. I don't want to go into all the details but basically he's made the whole family's life a living hell over the past 3+ years. That being said we all are trying to be supportive.

This is a second marriage for both of them and they are blending two families. Both of their first marriages we absolute train wrecks so we all want this to be a great day for their sake and their 7 kids sake. They are not registered anywhere for gifts and sent out no invitations. They live way out in the country near no restaurants/shopping. The closest town to them only has a bar, not even a gas station.

He is a former multi-millionaire that lost it all day trading. He is a diagnosed narcissistic personality and his fiancee is a doormat. He still thinks of and acts/spends like a millionaire driving them into a huge pit of debt (I can't believe she's marrying him!). He's been borrowing money from his disabled, fixed income Mother. We are very mad about this because he's never paid her back for any of the money he's borrowed. He's very egotistical and self-centered. They don't need anything. I'd rather give the money to his Mom.

However, when we got married they gave us a very lavish gift along with a bottle on Dom Perignon even though we specifically requested NO GIFTS. I know I shouldn't stress about this but what we give them will be a big freakin' deal that will be judged and discussed for a long time by all the family. They are very tit-for-tat and he is definitely the GP. We don't have much money and we don't have anything in common with them. We have very different ethics and values than they do so trying to imagine what they'd enjoy on our budget is impossible. Plus as you can tell by all of the above I have a pretty HUGE chip on my shoulder over this guy (and what I've told you here doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of this drama.)

If you stuck through all that THANK YOU and I appreciate any thoughts on a gift.
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Last edited by eche428; 04-15-2009 at 09:44 AM.
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hee
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If I were to give anything at all, it would be cash or a gift card.
What's a wegging?







hee
Originally Posted by Phoenix
Hee, thanks, changed it.
< member since 2006. No idea where 1969 came from.
Don't get them anything. From what you say they really don't deserve anything.

At least that's what I'd do, to hell with what people think of it. I wouldn't give something to someone who obviously won't appreciate it.
Stephen Fry on "respect" and being "offended".
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Don't get them anything. From what you say they really don't deserve anything.

At least that's what I'd do, to hell with what people think of it. I wouldn't give something to someone who obviously won't appreciate it.
Originally Posted by DJ Machismo
Yep...
And as I was reading that, I'm thinking GP all the fargin way...
Code:
burns me up..
As you are a good person, you are thinking about things too much, as I know I would...boy could I go on about how I feel about this..ugh
What does hubby say?
Code:
classic prodigal son, isn't it..
Don't get them anything. From what you say they really don't deserve anything.

At least that's what I'd do, to hell with what people think of it. I wouldn't give something to someone who obviously won't appreciate it.
Originally Posted by DJ Machismo
Yep...
And as I was reading that, I'm thinking GP all the fargin way...
Code:
burns me up..
As you are a good person, you are thinking about things too much, as I know I would...boy could I go on about how I feel about this..ugh
What does hubby say?
Code:
classic prodigal son, isn't it..
Originally Posted by WilePECoyote - The Nudist Poster
He thinks we should get them something but doesn't know what to get either. If it was just them then I'd probably skip the present but it's the kids I'm mostly thinking about. (OK it's the nasty gossip too.) The kids are SUPER excited about this wedding. They range in age from 3rd grade to first year in college. They are giddy with excitement and can't wait for everything including opening presents. If there weren't so many of them I'd get them tickets to Valley Fair so the whole family could have fun together. That's just not in our budget, it would be close to $350.00. I don't think we can swing that. Oh, rats, I wish we could that would be a really fun thing to get them.
< member since 2006. No idea where 1969 came from.
do you still have that bottle of Dom P? regift it back to them
do you still have that bottle of Dom P? regift it back to them
Originally Posted by scrills
Hee, hee, great idea but no. We drank it on a camping trip with some friends. I wasn't impressed, meh. I just don't get that stuff. Too much money for me to just pee it out in an hour. <that attitude is why it's good I'm not somehow rich. I just don't have the "right" attitude.
< member since 2006. No idea where 1969 came from.
I think you're on the right track by wanting to give something that the whole family can enjoy. Is there a less pricy option than the Valley Fair? Season pass to a zoo or museum maybe?
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Hee, hee, great idea but no. We drank it on a camping trip with some friends. I wasn't impressed, meh. I just don't get that stuff. Too much money for me to just pee it out in an hour. <that attitude is why it's good I'm not somehow rich. I just don't have the "right" attitude.
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I think you're on the right track by wanting to give something that the whole family can enjoy. Is there a less pricy option than the Valley Fair? Season pass to a zoo or museum maybe?
Originally Posted by PixieCurl
I'd forgotten about the zoo. Great idea. The MN ZOO is $11.95 each and the Mall of America Aquarium is $16.95 each. I think we could do either of those.

Thanks!
< member since 2006. No idea where 1969 came from.
That's a cute gift idea! That is SO what i am getting my nephew & neice for Christmas!
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what about a subscription to netflix?

or you can take all the ladies out before the wedding for pedicures, and your husband could take all the guys to a baseball game?

also horseback riding...white water rafting...

or you could rent them all a cabin for a weekend (not sure how much you want to spend - this would be several hundred)

do you know where they are going on their honeymoon? you can have the hotel or whatever send up fruit and alcohol. or you can buy them spa packages while they're there...
what about a subscription to netflix?

or you can take all the ladies out before the wedding for pedicures, and your husband could take all the guys to a baseball game?

also horseback riding...white water rafting...

or you could rent them all a cabin for a weekend (not sure how much you want to spend - this would be several hundred)

do you know where they are going on their honeymoon? you can have the hotel or whatever send up fruit and alcohol. or you can buy them spa packages while they're there...
Originally Posted by Sleigh
I like your ideas.

They aren't going on a honeymoon. When I asked here where they were going she looked at me, rolled her eyes all the way to the back of her spine, snorted then looked at the ground like I asked the stoopidest thing on earth.

I like the Netflix idea a lot though and will have to see if I can find out if they have one already. I suppose Netflix would probably let us add on to their account if they have one.
< member since 2006. No idea where 1969 came from.

Last edited by eche428; 04-15-2009 at 06:00 PM.

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