View Poll Results: How do you feel about abortion?
1. It's wrong/murder in any case 16 15.69%
2. Okay for rape/incest only 6 5.88%
3. A woman's legal right to choose 75 73.53%
4. Not sure; on the fence 5 4.90%
Voters: 102. You may not vote on this poll

How do you feel about Abortion?

one of my aunts has had 3 or 4 abortions. I think she used abortion as contraception in her 20s. When she got married at 30 she tried and tried to conceive and couldn't. V sad. I remember her saying, "I don't understand it. I was aborting and aborting in college, so clearly I can get pregnant."
Originally Posted by superflycurl
I may be a really cruel person but I don't find this very sad... I mean... it is sad in a way, to a point, but maybe God had tried to give her the 3 children she was meant to have and she thought she knew better? I don't mean that rudely....

I mean... I dunno -- my brother and sister in law tried for six years to conceive. It's heartbreaking to see others have no trouble and then just, essentially, "kill" it... And I do believe in God, and I'm not trying to push my beliefs onto anyone else, but I think if you get pregnant, you were meant to, especially if you're using birth control and still get pregnant. I could never "play God" like that, to decide when it was best for me to have a child.

My cousin got pregnant while she was in college, no job, lived with her mom who was fresh out of a job, her boyfriend and her were fighting really bad and about to break up (again!), she wasn't totally sure who the baby belonged to because she thought at first she got pregnant while they were broken up but turned out she was not as far along as she was afraid she was... She was a financial, emotional wreck and had just turned 20 the month before she found out. I heard several comments that she should probably have an abortion, and they made sense considering her situation. Luckily she didn't, because now, that child is 2 years old and touches everyone she meets.. I love her more than anything in the world! She's the smartest, sweetest, cutest little girl, and her, mom and dad now live in a nice house. They have good jobs, they got married, and all is well. Just because a situation seems bad doesn't mean it won't be fixed. So I guess I agree with those (spider?) about praying, trying to be a better person and usually it DOES work out. And for those who don't have a God to believe in, I dunno for them. That's just my way of looking at it too.

JMO though. I just can't imagine my life without that little darling now! It's awful to think she could have been just another abortion....
one of my aunts has had 3 or 4 abortions. I think she used abortion as contraception in her 20s. When she got married at 30 she tried and tried to conceive and couldn't. V sad. I remember her saying, "I don't understand it. I was aborting and aborting in college, so clearly I can get pregnant."
Originally Posted by superflycurl
Originally Posted by Rheanna83
It's sad that she had 3/4 abortions seemingly really casually. At least IMO
i recently met a girl 13 who had just had her first kid. Had that been my daughter, ida marched her right on down to the clinic as soon as i found out and would have dared her to say anything other than yes i want this abortion and this is my decision. She could do that or watch me raise her child as my own because a 13 year old is incapable and an innocent child deserves more than to be raised half assedly by another child
one of my aunts has had 3 or 4 abortions. I think she used abortion as contraception in her 20s. When she got married at 30 she tried and tried to conceive and couldn't. V sad. I remember her saying, "I don't understand it. I was aborting and aborting in college, so clearly I can get pregnant."
Originally Posted by superflycurl
I may be a really cruel person but I don't find this very sad... I mean... it is sad in a way, to a point, but maybe God had tried to give her the 3 children she was meant to have and she thought she knew better? I don't mean that rudely....

I could never "play God" like that, to decide when it was best for me to have a child.
Originally Posted by Rheanna83
But, isn't this punitive attitude a form of "playing God"? Aren't vengeance and judgement his alone?

Unless you're perfect, you have a lot of work to do on yourself. I always got the idea out of the Bible and church that my project is myself. I never got the message that Christianity was all about policing, punishing and judging others. I don't think that's what was intended. Originally.
I think that everyone has a right to make their own choices.
i recently met a girl 13 who had just had her first kid. Had that been my daughter, ida marched her right on down to the clinic as soon as i found out and would have dared her to say anything other than yes i want this abortion and this is my decision. She could do that or watch me raise her child as my own because a 13 year old is incapable and an innocent child deserves more than to be raised half assedly by another child
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
True, but what about adoption? Why is adoption hardly ever mentioned?
one of my aunts has had 3 or 4 abortions. I think she used abortion as contraception in her 20s. When she got married at 30 she tried and tried to conceive and couldn't. V sad. I remember her saying, "I don't understand it. I was aborting and aborting in college, so clearly I can get pregnant."
Originally Posted by superflycurl
I may be a really cruel person but I don't find this very sad... I mean... it is sad in a way, to a point, but maybe God had tried to give her the 3 children she was meant to have and she thought she knew better? I don't mean that rudely....

I could never "play God" like that, to decide when it was best for me to have a child.
Originally Posted by Rheanna83
But, isn't this punitive attitude a form of "playing God"? Aren't vengeance and judgement his alone?

Unless you're perfect, you have a lot of work to do on yourself. I always got the idea out of the Bible and church that my project is myself. I never got the message that Christianity was all about policing, punishing and judging others. I don't think that's what was intended. Originally.
Originally Posted by Chocolate Curls
You're right. I didn't say I was necessarily judging her or saying that God would. I'm just saying that to me, you get pregnant for a reason, and therefore if you decide you know what's best, over God, then maybe that was your only chance. I don't know... I was just throwing out an idea. That's just how I feel about it. I agree that your project is yourself and that everyone has lots and lots of work to do on themselves, but we are also supposed to look out for fellow man/woman in my opinion too. The whole "be your brothers keeper" issue and all. And to me, the unborn children kinda fall into this category.

Everyone gets to make their own choices, yes tgreyz, and we don't have the right to judge those or condemn people for their choices, but that doesn't mean everything is legal or should be. Lots of things that are clearly wrong are illegal, and should be, and to me if you find abortion to be wrong, or to be murder, it shouldn't be legal.

I somewhat agree with something I read here in my local newspaper, an editorial, that abortion is viewed as okay mainly because they have taken away the "humanity" of an unborn child. The man who wrote it likened it to the way they took away the humanity of slaves, so that everyone would think it was okay to treat them as they did.. A sort of "oh, they don't matter, they're not like us" mentality. I think that is true to a point about abortion - make it seem as though the unborn child has no rights and isn't really human, and it makes it okay to do whatever to them.

Once again, not trying to be offensive or snarky or anything else; I'm simply throwing out ideas.

And to superflygirl, yes it is sad that your aunt had that many abortions so casually. I just meant to me it wasn't as sad about her infertility afterwards. It's sad to a point, and I do feel bad for her, because she didn't think she was doing wrong obviously, or she wouldn't have had so many. And I'm sorry that she has gone thru all that; it's not my place to judge; I was just throwing out how I would feel if that were me in that situation. I couldn't play God like that is what I meant; to think that I knew better when I should have a child than him. All I meant was that maybe those were the 3 children she was supposed to have and she didn't agree. I'm not saying God was punishing her; just trying to make a point here, and I seem to be failing miserably, so I hope this makes an inkling of sense...
And, on another note, especially related to the 13 year old with a child, I think the most important thing we can do it to teach abstinence and safe sex if you do decide to have sex. I think children should be taught these things not only at school, but by their parents, from a VERY early age. Unfortunately, starting in 9th grade (as it was for me and this was just a few years ago) is too late. They are middle schoolers having sex. They need to start teaching this by age 9-10 anyway, IMO. If kids were more educated about the dangers of sex, especially unprotected sex, maybe abortion would be unnecessary, at least a lot more rare...
i recently met a girl 13 who had just had her first kid. Had that been my daughter, ida marched her right on down to the clinic as soon as i found out and would have dared her to say anything other than yes i want this abortion and this is my decision. She could do that or watch me raise her child as my own because a 13 year old is incapable and an innocent child deserves more than to be raised half assedly by another child
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
True, but what about adoption? Why is adoption hardly ever mentioned?
Originally Posted by Rheanna83
Personally speaking, I wouldnt let my grandchild be adopted unless there was a legitimate reason i was unable to care for it myself (taking into a count the mother was under 15).
i recently met a girl 13 who had just had her first kid. Had that been my daughter, ida marched her right on down to the clinic as soon as i found out and would have dared her to say anything other than yes i want this abortion and this is my decision. She could do that or watch me raise her child as my own because a 13 year old is incapable and an innocent child deserves more than to be raised half assedly by another child
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
True, but what about adoption? Why is adoption hardly ever mentioned?
Originally Posted by Rheanna83
Personally speaking, I wouldnt let my grandchild be adopted unless there was a legitimate reason i was unable to care for it myself (taking into a count the mother was under 15).
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
I'm sorry, but that's the type of reasoning I just don't understand. I am nowhere near having a grandchild. I don't even have kids... But I was discussing this with a friend who says she would have an abortion if she got pregnant because she wouldnt' carry a baby all that time and then put it up for adoption. To me that is unbelievably selfish... It's okay to just kill it/abort it, whatever, but I don't want to give it up to someone who could care for it better?

I guess for me then, personally speaking, if I had a child that age who got pregnant I wouldn't want it put up for adoption OR aborted; I would raise it myself, and if I couldn't, then I would do the painful, but selfless act, of putting it up for adoption.

I just don't get that reasoning, I apologize.. I'm not attacking you here, or even the way you're thinking about this. I am mainly talking about my friend's point of view and I just saw a relationship to the comments posted regarding adoption. I just don't get it. I could be wrong, but it doesn't make sense to me...

I honestly think it does come down to the dehumanizing factor, at least in part.
i recently met a girl 13 who had just had her first kid. Had that been my daughter, ida marched her right on down to the clinic as soon as i found out and would have dared her to say anything other than yes i want this abortion and this is my decision. She could do that or watch me raise her child as my own because a 13 year old is incapable and an innocent child deserves more than to be raised half assedly by another child
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
True, but what about adoption? Why is adoption hardly ever mentioned?
Originally Posted by Rheanna83
Personally speaking, I wouldnt let my grandchild be adopted unless there was a legitimate reason i was unable to care for it myself (taking into a count the mother was under 15).
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
I'm sorry, I re-read your post and the quoted post and I think I may have misunderstood what you said. I wasn't suggesting that the child (in the original post with the 13 y/o) should be put up for adoption; I was just mentioning it as an alternative to abortion. I think your post reads that you would take care of it yourself; as another alternative.

If I am mistaken in interpreting what you said, I'm sorry. In my last post I thought that you were saying you would prefer abortion to adoption, and then after re-reading, I think you were simply giving another alternative.

I apologize if I'm completely screwing up the meaning
i recently met a girl 13 who had just had her first kid. Had that been my daughter, ida marched her right on down to the clinic as soon as i found out and would have dared her to say anything other than yes i want this abortion and this is my decision. She could do that or watch me raise her child as my own because a 13 year old is incapable and an innocent child deserves more than to be raised half assedly by another child
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
True, but what about adoption? Why is adoption hardly ever mentioned?
Originally Posted by Rheanna83
As the "product" of an adoption gone VERY wrong, I'm not especially keen on the idea, though not entirely against it, either. I don't know why it is rarely mentioned by anyone else, however. I would just hope that the adoption process is much more stringent now, which I'm sure it is.

Pro-choice, BTW

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rheanna,

i meant that if abortion wasnt an option for some reason then I would raise the child as my own. i dont necessarily think having a child and giving it up is the best thing emotionally and psychologically for a child that young. I personally think abortion is the best option. Allows for more of a chance for the child to get on with their lives. Some grown women cant deal with what that prepresents much less a 13 year old.
rheanna,

i meant that if abortion wasnt an option for some reason then I would raise the child as my own. i dont necessarily think having a child and giving it up is the best thing emotionally and psychologically for a child that young. I personally think abortion is the best option. Allows for more of a chance for the child to get on with their lives. Some grown women cant deal with what that prepresents much less a 13 year old.
Originally Posted by Aphro-Deeziac
I can understand that. For most people I am assuming it would be that way. For me, I couldn't take it. It would haunt me the rest of my life, wondering what if and why and how it could have been. I know a girl who did the same thing to herself, and then to other people it's very casual. Then of course there are a zillion emotions in between, so I can't speak for other people. I would rather know I had a child out there being taken care of, truthfully. But that's just me

Brwnshugah, I'm sorry you had to go through that. As far as I know, adoption is very stringent now. My aunt adopted a year or two ago and she said she'd never feeled out so much paperwork, had so many interviews, people coming to her home etc. She found out about the little girl - the girl was a newborn in China that someone left on the doorstep of an orphanege - when she was first born, but didn't get her till she 19 months old. I think adopting is maybe even harder than it should be at times, as far as financial requirements, etc.

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