Hair+child abuse

That was so hard to watch - I only got half way through. That 'mother' is an absolute disgrace and I'm glad that people are trying to save this poor little baby girl.
My hair has been natural my whole life and my mother would never DREAM of doing anything like that to me.... I'm just shocked.
No question, that's a clear case of child abuse.
And shes PROUD of herself by posting it on youtube??? Makes me sick to my stomach.
3b-med texture-med porosity
CG from 21-05-09 2nd try!
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My hair LOVES CURL JUNKIE <3
www.fotki.com/loopyloops.

Still can't view the vid... sup with zshare?
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
It's also on youtube.
3b-med texture-med porosity
CG from 21-05-09 2nd try!
Conditioners: Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose, Aubrey Organics GPB Protein
Stylers: CJ CCCC, CJ AFG, KCCC
Gel: Lavera Organic

My hair LOVES CURL JUNKIE <3
www.fotki.com/loopyloops.

Speckla
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That reminds me of my sisters brushing my hair when I was a child. No one should have to endure that type of torture. I went to live with my grandmother and she just kept my hair super, super short. That was better than the previous.
I lived with my grandmother when I was little and she is 100% chinese and knows nothing about curly hair (I don't blame her) and she never did anything like that.... She just shaved my head! Better than what that cruel woman did to her baby though.
3b-med texture-med porosity
CG from 21-05-09 2nd try!
Conditioners: Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose, Aubrey Organics GPB Protein
Stylers: CJ CCCC, CJ AFG, KCCC
Gel: Lavera Organic

My hair LOVES CURL JUNKIE <3
www.fotki.com/loopyloops.

can someone post a link? sorry. the youtube vids I saw were removed.
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
can someone post a link? sorry. the youtube vids I saw were removed.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
This one was working as I posted.
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Med/Coarse, porous curly.
can someone post a link? sorry. the youtube vids I saw were removed.
Originally Posted by Phoenix

That's strange. The first link should work for zshare, just noticed the next two videos have been taken down. That's terrible, I hope they can be found somewhere else becuase they are very pertinent. They show this goes on for over 9 minutes and it's not even over by the time the third video ran out.

Here is a video that should work but it's only of the first and longest part:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6hxh...eature=related


My Fotki
What does it say about me if I've actually witnessed this kind of stuff up close? Except for the cursing and pinning down bit. I have seen a sobbing child get whoopings for not complying to having their hair mercilessly brushed for 3 hours straight.

However, this lady had no reason to do that. It was stupid, yet sadly, I'm quite positive this is not an isolated occurrence in many homes.
3a/b hair waistlength when wet

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Suave Naturals Vanilla Floral for conditioning, detangling, leave-in, styling product, etc.

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Thanks for the links, guys.

She chased her around the room to comb her hair. wow.
No MAS.

I am the new Black.

"Hope the Mail are saving space tomorrow for Samantha Brick's reaction piece on the reactions to her piece about the reactions to her piece." ~ Tweet reposted by Rou.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Kimshi4242

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/kimshi4242
Thanks for the links, guys.

She chased her around the room to comb her hair. wow.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
I wasn't able to see this either, but what else happened besides being chased around the room? I got chased around the room to have my hair combed or hotcombed every day when I was a kid and now I have to chase my son to do his... is that so rare or unusual?

I also cried and got popped with the brush... my son cries too, but I don't pop him, and there's no swearing or yelling.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali












Last edited by Amneris; 07-19-2009 at 08:48 PM.
I was a tenderheaded child. I hated getting my hair combed. I would cry, but my mom didn't hold me down and all that ish.

I have to say, if she decided she was going to shave my head like I'm living in some sort of institution or the army or something to make it easier on herself and me, I would have been pissed. I can't agree that shaving the kid's head is the better solution. The better solution is to find someone else who can properly groom the hair you find to be unmanageable. Ask for help.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer."

4a, mbl, low porosity, normal thickness, fine hair.
Thanks for the links, guys.

She chased her around the room to comb her hair. wow.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
I wasn't able to see this either, but what else happened besides being chased around the room? I got chased around the room to have my hair combed or hotcombed every day when I was a kid and now I have to chase my son to do his... is that so rare or unusual?

I also cried and got popped with the brush... my son cries too, but I don't pop him, and there's no swearing or yelling.
Originally Posted by Amneris
I hated having my hair brushed out as a kid. I used to cry. My mother used to love the saying "It hurts to be beautiful". She would yank that brush through to get out the knots. I was defintely smacked with a brush on the head if I was misbehaving too much.

But it was NOTHING like this video. That is clearly child abuse. The mother is hurting her kid for fun, as she screams and cries and tries to get away. She's not trying to hold the kid still and get the brush through the knots--she's just reaching out with the brush into the big hair and ripping it through with no purpose other than pain/humor as the kid scrambles to avoid it.
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" -BART SIMPSON
I was a tenderheaded child. I hated getting my hair combed. I would cry, but my mom didn't hold me down and all that ish.

I have to say, if she decided she was going to shave my head like I'm living in some sort of institution or the army or something to make it easier on herself and me, I would have been pissed. I can't agree that shaving the kid's head is the better solution. The better solution is to find someone else who can properly groom the hair you find to be unmanageable. Ask for help.
Originally Posted by curlyarca

I got held down - not roughly, but enough to get my hair combed, and I have to hold my son down because he tries to get away.

I agree - shaving the head to me seems almost as cruel. Find out how to do the hair or find someone to do it.

My mama knew how to take care of my hair and braid it, etc. but I was very tenderheaded and had very thick hair. I think some pain/discomfort is inevitable for thick, long, natural hair.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











Here's a new youtube link for those wanting to see it
Here's a new youtube link for those wanting to see it
Originally Posted by cympreni
From what I have read, I don't think I want to see it!
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











I haven't watched any of these videos. I'm scared that it'll be painful to watch!

My hair wasn't bad to do, because it wasn't super thick or super curly. But any long hair on girls can be somewhat time and labor intensive. My sister has two girls, ages 5 and 6, with waist-length fine wavy hair. They don't like getting it washed or styled, although they've gotten better as they've gotten older. My sister usually puts it in two braids to keep it detangled. But seeing my nieces carry on about getting their hair shampooed or brushed makes me glad I don't have to deal with that with my boys. I keep their hair shorter and it's not thick or curly enough to get tangled.
Here's a new youtube link for those wanting to see it
Originally Posted by cympreni
From what I have read, I don't think I want to see it!
Originally Posted by Amneris
You could only watch just 5 seconds of it and tell that it's not a matter of difficult to care for hair.
I hear a lot of people here and elsewhere bringing up two points that usually then leads them to say this isn't child abuse
1. It happened to them and they turned out okay
2. The kid was tenderheaded/nappy hair requires some amount of pain.

My response is
1. You know better and you do better. I'm just gonna outright say it, there has long been a problem in the Black American community with confusing abuse for good parenting for a myriad of reasons. Not saying White people don't abuse their children but I think there are specific dynamics when many Black people actually do something they consider to be good parenting that is actually uneccesarily torturous and that this stems from slavery in so many ways. I've done quite a bit of research on this in my own family and it seems with every successive generation hitting your kids has become less and less acceptable, in fact in talking to my great grandmother (who was born in 1914 in southern Georgia) before she passed it was considered accepted to Blacks in her generation to beat your children until marks were on them. And yeah probably among White people there was more violence towards children (most cultures have moves toward a more liberal school of discipline) but the difference is rough treatment of children had a purpose for Black people.

You knew you had to discipline them and get them in control becuase if they acted up in front of a White person they could be killed. It was actually a sick twisted sense of love actually. I consider the reactions to this mess a holdover to those days personally. People are confused thinking this woman is acting out of love and not seeing the enjoyment she is taking from doing it. There isn't ANY form of love in what this woman is doing.

2. I have begun a mindset in which I do not accept the word and concept of tenderheaded. I do not believe this myth to be real anymore. This idea that there are some scalps tenderer and more sensitive than others (and usually the lighter you were the more tender your scalp was supposed to be, darker you were the more punishment your scalp could take). I consider it to be manifestation of this prevalent idea that Black people are tough, our hair is tough and actually needs MORE punishment, rougher treatment becuase it's so coarse and rough. This has been said by many African American hair care books and stylist until recently (actually still is), was the prevailing theory (the nappier the hair the stronger the perm needs to be, etc) until actual scientific data has come out that says kinky hair is actually very very fragile both becuase of it's thickness and structure.

The tighter the curl the more fragile the hair in fact (and of course the more painful it will be to comb it), so it flies in the face of all we done towards kinky hair for hundreds of years. Treated it as the most tough when we should have been treated it the most gentle. So the word tender headed to me came about becuase we believed this so much we couldn't understand how people could be screaming, you're treating their hair as it should be treated. So we blamed our ignorance on the victim. I came to realize tender headed doesn't actually exist when all my life I believed my hair couldn't be detangled without pain but then I found out it could with the right treatment.

So I had no choice but to accept I had been lied to though the liars actually believe the lie themselves so it made it somewhat better. And it's quite an insidious lie, very believable. We still believe it. I was even told I was even more tender headed apparently becuase of my White genes. It seems so silly to me now that I really believed I got my dad's White fragile scalp and my mom's tough Nappy hair. But I did. And it led to nothing but badness, feeling I had to get a relaxer. Feeling there was something wrong with my natural texture. Feeling I got two different racial traits that don't mix (and don't get me started on the kind of mind job that can do to somebody, unfortunately there are still a lot of people that attempt to divide mixed people in seperate parts and refuse to see we are whole.)

So yeah I hereby refuse the notion of tenderheadedness in all it's backward beginnings and the way it can be used to blame the victim.


My Fotki

Last edited by KinkyKeeper; 07-19-2009 at 10:05 PM.
There is NOTHING normal about what that psycho did to that child. I had super thick, tangly hair when I was little but LOVED for my mother to do my hair, it would put me to sleep in fact.

Now my niece had my little nephew's hair in braids and would be rough and fuss at him and I hollered at her about that. Thank goodness his dad cut his hair when she went overboard. I even washed his hair and when he whined I didn't yell at him or hit him with the comb. AND to boot you don't brush curly hair like that!!!!!!! You know damned well it won't go through hair and that it hurts so why act like that??
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