Pregnant child -- what to do?

It sounds much better to me to have a 14 year old in an environment where she will gain life skills which she will need in the very near future, continue her education without having to face hostile peers, and also have the opportunity to talk to pregnant girls close to her own age. Maybe as she begins to realize the enormity of having to provide for herself and for a child, she'll appreciate the importance of child support from the father.

Her mother is this girl's primary caregiver, but why isn't her father more involved? This is his child, who is carrying his grandchild.

It's a sad commentary on our culture that so many laws exist to protect birth rights and that favor birth mothers over adoptive mothers...and yet so little support is available for single mothers. Health insurance for women who work part time, subsidized childcare....
formerly Castella
(my dogs aren't snarly, my hair is)
fig jam - that's terrible that there aren't the social supports and programmes for this young woman. yes, I see how the mother's position is made that much tougher by the lack of support.

You said that there aren't programmes for teens who don't want to stay in school. Therefore, task 1 is to convince this girl that she DOES want to stay in school. Step 2 is to fight for a school to educate her. Surely a 14-year-old who wants to be in school should be able to be there, baby or not. At least they should provide the resources for her to do her schooling at home or in the evenings or SOMETHING. I would fight and fight for that.

And I still think that the father and his family should be involved in this if at all possible... and yes, what about this girl's father and his family? Where is he?

I agree with snarls that the lack of services is very telling. And the homes for teenage mothers are not for the purpose of hiding them anymore. There are a few near me, and they are run by religious organizations, but all are welcome. They are a way that girls who are kicked out or are in really unhealthy environments (abuse, neglect, substance abuse, etc. - some have been living on the streets) can live somewhere safe and learn job skills, continue with their education and learn how to care for their babies, or to be safe until they adopt (no pressure either way that I know of, just education about their options - and they certainly aren't all white.) They obviously don't talk as much about abortion because by the time the girls know they are pregnant and come there, it's usually late for an abortion.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











No, you can't force a father to have contact with his child, but you can force financial support (which could in this case help the mother by hiring a babysitter, covering medical expenses, diapers etc.) and since he is a minor his parents are responsible in his place, and his parents, if they are moral beings at all, should want to spend some time/ease the burden too. I'd certainly try. Obviously if they seem like they would pose a danger to the daughter or the baby they shouldn't be involved, but it's just as possible that they're nice people.

And this girl sounds pretty immature and unreliable herself so really, can the father be any worse?
Originally Posted by Amneris

I don't think it's true that parents are responsible for child support payments for their son if he's a minor and not working. I really doubt you could get that to stick.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
This indeed does happen. I have a relative that lives in the state of PA that this happened to. Her minor son got a girl pregnant when he was 16 yo. My relative and her husband were hauled into court for child support. The child support award was based on her income and her husbands' income (they both made excellent money). Once their son turned eighteen the child support award was adjusted to his part-time income.

This is one of the reasons that I think it is so ridiculous when I here parents of boys say, "If he gets somebody pregnant, the baby will be the responsibilty of the girls' family." You may not be a part of the babys' life but you will pay.
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No, you can't force a father to have contact with his child, but you can force financial support (which could in this case help the mother by hiring a babysitter, covering medical expenses, diapers etc.) and since he is a minor his parents are responsible in his place, and his parents, if they are moral beings at all, should want to spend some time/ease the burden too. I'd certainly try. Obviously if they seem like they would pose a danger to the daughter or the baby they shouldn't be involved, but it's just as possible that they're nice people.

And this girl sounds pretty immature and unreliable herself so really, can the father be any worse?
Originally Posted by Amneris

I don't think it's true that parents are responsible for child support payments for their son if he's a minor and not working. I really doubt you could get that to stick.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
This indeed does happen. I have a relative that lives in the state of PA that this happened to. Her minor son got a girl pregnant when he was 16 yo. My relative and her husband were hauled into court for child support. The child support award was based on her income and her husbands' income (they both made excellent money). Once their son turned eighteen the child support award was adjusted to his part-time income.

This is one of the reasons that I think it is so ridiculous when I here parents of boys say, "If he gets somebody pregnant, the baby will be the responsibilty of the girls' family." You may not be a part of the babys' life but you will pay.
Originally Posted by teejay
It depends on the jurisdiction, but yes, parents of a girl can sue the parents of the boy for vicarious liability sometimes under Parental Responsibility Acts. I also have a friend who got pregnant when she and the boy were 16 - her mother sued and his parents were responsible for paying till he turned 18 if he didn't (they made him get a job) and he had to pay once he was 18.

I also have another friend who got pregnant at 17, and his parents voluntarily had her and the baby live in their basement till she finished university (she went at night and they watched the child) because her parents weren't willing.
Get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. -Muhammad Ali











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