.

I agree with the others and also with curlpro's citing of He's Just Not That Into You - every woman should read it. The best piece of advice my mother ever gave me concerning men is to NEVER call them. If they like you, they'll call...simple as that. I'd also be very wary of dating a musician if it ever progresses to that point for obvious reasons.
2b
conditioner - AOHR
shampoo - Beauty Without Cruelty Rosemary Mint Tea Tree
styling products - KCCC, BRHG, Boots Curl Creme, Re:coil
Ditto on the dating of musicians. Of course there are exceptions, I even know a couple of them personally who've made great husbands and fathers. But I've dated quite a few, as have my friends, and on the whole, well …

As for He's Just Not That Into You, I'm a huge fan. But take it with a grain of salt. If you know you're the obsessive type, then follow it to the letter. [I lean this way, actually. I used to be worse, but I have to watch myself.]

But if you've got your head on your shoulders and aren't wigging out [which kinda sounds like the OP], then one call isn't going to derail anything. As long as it's just that: one call.
Hi Girls,
I am not sure how old you all are but I am 46 and this is what I have learned,NEVER CALL A MAN, PERIOD. If he wants to see you or talk to you he will. There is never an exception ever ever ever. You want someone who is willing to walk through fire to ge to the georgousnes that is your beautiful smart funny self and then maybe you will go for a drink. You all may doubt me but if you do I suggest the following reading for you.
THE RULES
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
If you follow the advice in these books you will never end up with a jerk that forgets your birthday or puts you on his priority list after football and poker. His world will revolve around you, but not if you make excuses and rationalize bad behavior away.
I can hear you now, "it's different now than it was then" "I am a modern woman, I can call a man, she is crazy" "I'm not into game playing it's dishonest" enjoy the jerk you get while the rest of us rule followers get a guy who does out laundry and makes the bes and buys us flowers for no reason. Because if you raise your expectations a man will rise to meet them, IF HE IS INTO YOU, and if he is not...NEXT.
I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside where you can't see it till six months from now and then you have a broken heart. Did I mention you shouldn't have sex for three months??? Oh, but I guess that's another discussion for weeding out the guys who have read the aformentioned books (lol) want more of this advice just ask. I have helped many a friend in my life to weed out loosers.
You rock don't settle for anything less than great!!
Cynthia
Originally Posted by curlpro

As an adult, I would never wait 3 months of dating before having sex with a man. *I* would obviously want to have sex within that 3 month period of time.

The waiting game is just a to get the guy to stick it out for the long run. That's basically tricking a guy into a relationship. Why would you want to do that?

It's like Charlotte on SATC trying to find a man her whole life specifically to get married. Talk about setting women back another 50 or 60 years.
Originally Posted by iroc
I thought the point of dating was to be in a long term comitted relationship eventually, married or not I don't see it matters one way or the other. The reason you don't have sex is to find out if the guy wants the sex or to get to know you. If you just want to sleep with this guy because he is cute etc.. go for it. If you want him to stay around, wait, if he bails, you win both ways a.You didn't sleep with him so you don't have to go through the self loathing and depression followed by why doesn't he like me? whats wrong with me? eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's or, B.You didn't waste your time and your body on some jerk who wanted to just sleep with you.
If you wait, get to know him and he sticks around, win , win, you get to sleep with him and get to know him. Plus in 40 days you might think he is a jerk, or has sweaty hands or can't kiss or is cheap or has stinky BO. This isn't a game playing episode, it's a plan to get to know someone and make a decision about them before you become too emotionally attached. Once you have sex with him you have this incredible hormone surge that clouds your thinking. And if it doesn't work out you feel bad. I don't wan't to feel bad, sad, stupid, why did I do that, my feelings are hurt now, I want to cry. This is just advice from a woman who has been around the block many times and finally learned and ended up with a guy who worships me and would have waited a year to have sex with me. Because these guy's are all about you, all about what you want, because they make the call, and they keep calling, because they are into you!!
So before you say to yourself that's silly and old fashioned, I would challenge all of you that read this to try it out the next time and see what happens. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. You can let me know. I know so many women who don't think they are worth the wait, you are worth the wait for any guy who is serious.
Cynthia
Hi Girls,
I am not sure how old you all are but I am 46 and this is what I have learned,NEVER CALL A MAN, PERIOD. If he wants to see you or talk to you he will. There is never an exception ever ever ever. You want someone who is willing to walk through fire to ge to the georgousnes that is your beautiful smart funny self and then maybe you will go for a drink. You all may doubt me but if you do I suggest the following reading for you.
THE RULES
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU
If you follow the advice in these books you will never end up with a jerk that forgets your birthday or puts you on his priority list after football and poker. His world will revolve around you, but not if you make excuses and rationalize bad behavior away.
I can hear you now, "it's different now than it was then" "I am a modern woman, I can call a man, she is crazy" "I'm not into game playing it's dishonest" enjoy the jerk you get while the rest of us rule followers get a guy who does out laundry and makes the bes and buys us flowers for no reason. Because if you raise your expectations a man will rise to meet them, IF HE IS INTO YOU, and if he is not...NEXT.
I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside where you can't see it till six months from now and then you have a broken heart. Did I mention you shouldn't have sex for three months??? Oh, but I guess that's another discussion for weeding out the guys who have read the aformentioned books (lol) want more of this advice just ask. I have helped many a friend in my life to weed out loosers.
You rock don't settle for anything less than great!!
Cynthia
Originally Posted by curlpro

As an adult, I would never wait 3 months of dating before having sex with a man. *I* would obviously want to have sex within that 3 month period of time.

The waiting game is just a to get the guy to stick it out for the long run. That's basically tricking a guy into a relationship. Why would you want to do that?

It's like Charlotte on SATC trying to find a man her whole life specifically to get married. Talk about setting women back another 50 or 60 years.
Originally Posted by iroc
I thought the point of dating was to be in a long term comitted relationship eventually, married or not I don't see it matters one way or the other. The reason you don't have sex is to find out if the guy wants the sex or to get to know you. If you just want to sleep with this guy because he is cute etc.. go for it. If you want him to stay around, wait, if he bails, you win both ways a.You didn't sleep with him so you don't have to go through the self loathing and depression followed by why doesn't he like me? whats wrong with me? eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's or, B.You didn't waste your time and your body on some jerk who wanted to just sleep with you.
If you wait, get to know him and he sticks around, win , win, you get to sleep with him and get to know him. Plus in 40 days you might think he is a jerk, or has sweaty hands or can't kiss or is cheap or has stinky BO. This isn't a game playing episode, it's a plan to get to know someone and make a decision about them before you become too emotionally attached. Once you have sex with him you have this incredible hormone surge that clouds your thinking. And if it doesn't work out you feel bad. I don't wan't to feel bad, sad, stupid, why did I do that, my feelings are hurt now, I want to cry. This is just advice from a woman who has been around the block many times and finally learned and ended up with a guy who worships me and would have waited a year to have sex with me. Because these guy's are all about you, all about what you want, because they make the call, and they keep calling, because they are into you!!
So before you say to yourself that's silly and old fashioned, I would challenge all of you that read this to try it out the next time and see what happens. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the outcome. You can let me know. I know so many women who don't think they are worth the wait, you are worth the wait for any guy who is serious.
Cynthia
Originally Posted by curlpro
I more or less agree w/ you. I wouldn't put a firm 3 month rule on the sex thing but I do agree there should be a waiting period.


I promose you if he doesn't call, you shouldn't care, because he is a jerk deep down inside
Originally Posted by curlpro
He may not be a jerk, per se. But I agree, if he doesn't call, he is not ready, willing or able to step into the role of bf, for whatever reason.

I would add that since the OP seems like she is the one who actually suggested getting together for Mexican food in the first place, that is even more of a reason not to call. She has given him a huge green light. Anything more, and it would seem like she was pressuring him IMO.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

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