Wallet stolen by *%$&#@!. Part cautionary tale, part vent. Also: long.

Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,529
Someone wanted money for acting decently? Ugh.

It was definitely jerk day in your town. BIG jerk day.

I'm glad you got your license back, though. Hopefully, the creeps involved were too busy being a-holes to have registered your info. Still, take preventive measures to protect yourself, okay?

You're in my thoughts. ((()))
Dang, I'm sorry, Wild. That's so unsettling. Ugh PEOPLE!

Yes, look into the self defense classes. Your local adult evening school may offer some classes for a reasonable price if the police department's class is no longer available. The other option is a karate school of some sort.

Could you recall what he looked like? Maybe you can post flyers with a description of him around your building. I wonder how hard it is to get one of those police composition sketches. Dunno...if he did try to come to your building maybe seeing his own description would scare him away!

Edit: You got your stuff back. Good. Dude wanted money. Bad. I wonder if he's an accomplice and they have a little scheme going. Or maybe he just found it somewhere.

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Last edited by Phoenix; 09-21-2009 at 09:14 AM.
Bad. I wonder if he's an accomplice and they have a little scheme going. Or maybe he just found it somewhere.

This was the first thing that came to my mind...maybe I have watched too many Law and Orders over the years, but you never know. But, I know you are already going to be extra careful. You already talked to all your neighbors, which my policeman brother-in-law just told me is one of the most important things you can do. Good luck.

Last edited by desert flower; 09-21-2009 at 12:51 PM. Reason: I am a spaz and can't post correctly!
(((w~h))) How terrifying! I'm so sorry this happened to you. What makes it worse is the jerk who brought back the wallet and wanted money. Um, hello, moron? If someone's wallet was stolen, it's pretty likely they don't have any cash on them.
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hey girl, so sorry this happened to you!! yes take the defense class. people with real and fake mental illnesses scare me. i've heard too many weird stories where these people walk up on you and attack you (i.e. stab, throw acid on you, etc.). don't let anyone that gives you the heeby jeeby's get that close to you again. i'm sure that will never happen to you again. bad man!

i'm glad you got your stuff back. he probably just wanted quick cash and didn't plan to do any serious harm. that is crazy that the person that returned it wanted a reward, duh...you'd just been robbed!!

good for alerting your neighbors. that goes a long way. we've had 3 breakins in our quiet neighborhood including my next door neighbor. i was there and heard it but didn't know it was a break in until they got back in town the next monday. i got extra adt security and bought a gun. i've gone to the shooting range. people are so bold now. i have to protect myself. i do have two dogs that bark like crazy at night if they hear something so i think it helps me. they don't have to be walked at night, i just let them do their business in the back yard. do what every you have to to feel safe. i'm sure there's info on a police site with even more tips.

i had my car stolen from the gym over 10 years ago. i got the car back but not my purse. it left me freaked out for awhile. you will feel better again but you'll never let your guard down like that again.

sorry and big hugs!!!
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I wonder if he's an accomplice and they have a little scheme going. Or maybe he just found it somewhere.
Originally Posted by Phoenix
Yes, I wondered this as well, so did my mom, and so did the woman at Mpls police this morning.

Thanks again for all the kind words and advice. I didn't sleep very well last night, maybe 4 hours. I sat in bed upright until I feel asleep sitting there. I couldn't will myself to lie down and surrender to sleep. Unfortunately I couldn't eat much yesterday I had to force myself to eat something late last night, it tasted like cardboard and the combination of lack of adequate food and sleep makes me irrational, and of course more fearful. Vicious cycle. Wishing I'd had an ativan or something! Oh well.

But today I feel better. Now I just feel like I need two things:

- to finish talking to the police. I called them this morning, they're going to call me back to do the complete report. I'm going to ask if there's a neighborhood crime prevention specialist I can talk to. This would be someone who could help me find

- self defense classes.

I guess a third thing: I need to have a serious talk with my mom. Every step of the way with this, she has second-guessed my reactions to things. I try to explain to her what it's like in the moment, but she just doesn't get it. This morning I read on a couple self-defense websites about how adrenaline affects logic and that no matter what, a person needs to be respected for their decisions and actions in these situations. She's not getting this. This is an ongoing problem of hers she's never been very good at putting herself in other people's shoes.

Luckily my sister doesn't have this issue and she's a good sounding board.

I'm going to post separately what I'd written out last night to post here, about the guy who returned my wallet. By the time I got off the phone with my mom, I was too bleary eyed to be on the computer anymore.
Here's what happened last night:


I have my wallet back. Someone found it. It has everything but my credit card and the $25 that was in it.

The man who brought it back wanted money for it. He showed up a little before 10pm and was belligerent about it from the get go, repeatedly ringing the doorbell, yelling, "Do you want your wallet back or what?" At no point did I go to the door. I initially talked to him through the closed and bolted window, then from the second story landing window.

[Even if it had been some itty bitty grandmother, I wouldn't have gone to the door. New policy: I don't know you, am not expecting you, day or night, I don't come to the door. You want to visit me? Call me and let me know. You don't have my phone number? Then I don't need to talk to you. End of story.]

I was on the phone with my sister when he showed up. We were both incredulous at this development. So I kept my sister on the phone the whole time and she listened while I talked to him.

He kept insisting he needed money, he said he was out of gas, he'd driven "all this way" to return my wallet. I asked questions and his story was that "all this way" was the 1/4-1/2 mile from a nearby main road. This was the same road where the gas station was, the one where that other a****** used my cc.

I asked him why he couldn't just give it to me out of the goodness of his heart. He repeated that he needed money for gas, just a few dollars.

I didn't like the situation at all, it felt like a repeat of the coercion from earlier today. So I threatened to call the police. He said, "Go ahead, call them. I'm not doing anything wrong. I want to return your wallet, I just need something to make it worth my effort. I have your driver's license here, that's how I found you."

Meanwhile, I actually was in the mindset that I had no money at all. I suppose he thought I could hit a neighbor up for a few bucks. Then I remembered: I had the change from a $20 my mom had lent me earlier. About $8.

I quietly consulted with my sister about the wisdom of this transaction [I was fried mentally at this point], and she said, "Yes! Just get it back." I got the money from inside my apt, went back up to the window and, after stating clearly to him that he need to make good on this transaction, I threw it down. He then tossed the wallet to me. He made to to throw it deliberately so it would make it up to the window and not bounce off the roof or something. By his doing so, the wallet hit me rather sharply in the face. It opened and everything fell out all over the floor: my driver's license, my train pass, my library card, everything but the cash and cc.

I thanked him [even though he was being an a******]. I was so overwhelmed, from exhaustion, relief, you name it, that I started to cry, again. I wish I hadn't done that. I didn't like being so vulnerable to this man who was pretending to do me a favor. But I was so spent and so glad to have it back.

When I started crying, he said, "God is good." He said, "Maybe I'll check on you sometime." I said, "Please don't."

^^^^^^^^^ WTF?! This is one of many reasons I need to learn how to defend myself, asap.

I'm moving to the country, getting a gun and a dog.
Join Date: Mar 2008
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I really don't like this "Maybe I'll check on you sometime."
When I started crying, he said, "God is good." He said, "Maybe I'll check on you sometime." I said, "Please don't."
Originally Posted by wild~hair
What the???? Please move away from that apartment. His response is completely inappropriate and insensitive. Something is very wrong there.

What city do you live it? This isn't NYC is it?
Oh, w~h! What a horrible day. I'm glad you at least bought some pepper spray.
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Wildhair, I have a question: DO you live in NJ? That is a dead on portrayal of this guy they had to kick out of my local Starbucks (he now does the same thing at another Starbucks down the road a ways).
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I live in Minneapolis.

I too was very alarmed by his comment. In the wee hours last night, that comment fueled a lot of thoughts of moving. That comment and the theory that these two men might be in cahoots.

Right now I am just waiting to talk to police and hopefully get some professional advice on the matter.

As I mentioned a bit earlier, Minneapolis has Crime Prevention Specialists. The CPS for my neighborhood also oversees the neighborhood where the original crime took place. I will be talking to this person at length about this matter and what I need do about it all.
how could he get right to your door? i thought your building was locked/safe.

i don't think he was in on it w/ the other guy but still you had two very weird encounters in a day!!!!

i think you need to get a male voice on recording or make people think you have a man living with you. this guy probably sensed you were single. if he ever came back i would say something about my husband or boyfriend.
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Oh, god, I am so skeeved out and DISGUSTED for you. I'm so sorry you are going through this. What fing CREEPS.

Have the cops mentioned checking security cameras? Since your cc was used at a gas station I would think there's a decent chance there would be footage of at least one of the d*ckheads- maybe both, if they are working together.

I'm sorry. Take care of yourself.
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how could he get right to your door? i thought your building was locked/safe.
Originally Posted by luvmylocs

He didn't sorry, that was a little unclear. He was at front door for my building. My building is small [4 units] and my front window looks right out to where the building's front door is. Which is good, because I can see who's out there buzzing.

I like the idea of getting a recording of a male voice.

I don't know if anyone was caught on camera at the gas station, a number of people mentioned that. I wonder how far the police will take this investigation? I suppose it kind of depends on if he's done it before, if he does it again, etc.

I just finished filing a police report. It took a long time. I'm going to call the CPS now.

Thanks everyone!
ive returned numerous wallets/purses and had mine returned to me several times also. compensation was never an issue. this was definitely a scam to squeeze more cash from you.

Last edited by OBB; 09-21-2009 at 02:49 PM.
What that "Good" Samaritan did, after all you'd been through already? WTF! I'm so, so sorry. You handled that the best way possible, I think, though on such little sleep and nourishment I wouldn't have blamed you for going apesh*t on that dude. Selfish jerk.

I hope you get some comforting assistance from the CPS.


Last edited by cakj99; 04-26-2010 at 08:10 PM.
I'm so sorry all this has happened to you! (((hugs)))
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I'm really glad you've talked to the police and that there's a CPS that can help you further. I don't want to sound paranoid, but the wallet returning incident really has my hair standing on end. It just seems really fishy that he'd make such a big deal out of returning your wallet to your apartment, especially since he only wanted a relatively small amount of money. That coupled with saying he'd maybe "check back in on you sometime" really freaks me out.

I'm so sorry that you got your wallet back in that way, but glad you have most of its contents back. Take good care of yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for or accept help from friends and family. If you'd feel better staying somewhere else, take your friends up on their offers.

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