Parental Confessional

This applies to anyone with more than one child:

Do you have a favorite? If so, why? And have you ever admitted it to anyone? Do they know they are the fave? How do the others feel?

I have 2 kids; will answer once the ball gets rolling I just my recall my Mom always saying she didnt have a favorite; but we all always knew she did and who it was

Again, details to follow
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They are each my fave in a different way. My daughter is my fave b/c she is a girl and she has been w/ me longer and she is my first, basically what turned me into a mother and a full-fledged grown up woman.

My son is my fave b/c he is so funny and cute. He's so low maintenance and easy to take care of. And he looks like a little cartoon character.
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They've all spent time as my favorite. And the older ones have spent time as my not-favorite...on and off. I'm sure the younger ones will become not-favorites at some point too...teenage years can suck.

I know that's not an answer. I don't really have a true favorite kid, but I will admit that I prefer spending time with my daughter, simply because she's a girly-girl, like me. I adore my boys, but I'd MUCH rather go shopping and have a mani/pedi than go to a CubScout pinewood derby.
Well, one of my kids is a fetus, but I do have to admit that I immediately felt a bond w/ DD1 in the womb that I don't quite feel with this baby yet. The first time I was pregnant, baby was all I could think about, but this time, of course, big sis is around and needs lots of attention! We'll see what happens when baby 2 comes along.
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My sister admits her second born child is her favorite. She says Em is just more like her.

My dad confessed that I was his favorite, just like my sister was my moms. He said it wasn't personal but something that happened through special bonds that had to do with interests and personalities.
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A favorite? I am blessed with 2 great kids, one boy and one girl. They both have very different personalities and are their own unique selves that I couldn't possibly compare them and come up with a favorite.

I'm not much help here because to me, the concept is rather odd.
A favorite? I am blessed with 2 great kids, one boy and one girl. They both have very different personalities and are their own unique selves that I couldn't possibly compare them and come up with a favorite.

I'm not much help here because to me, the concept is rather odd.
Originally Posted by misspam
Same with me....both my kids are so different from each other. I love what they bring to my life.

The only time I have a favorite is when one is being rotten and the other is being good. That rarely happens though. One becomes rotten, the other follows shortly
Absolutely not. I didn't think it was possible.

I have different relationships with my girls because they're different people.

Bella shares my personality. She's my baby, and my cuddle-bug. She's calm and easy going and very charismatic.

Bailey and I have had a rough run. Not only was she my first, but she was/is a difficult one. I had PPD when she was a baby, and after a year and a half struggle, I diagnosed her as having low level (high functioning) autism. She doesn't click or connect with me, she was never affectionate, even as a baby, and for a long time I felt our relationship suffered and I blamed myself.

Figuring out who she is - even though it is very unlike me - and how to work with her personality has created a strong bond as well. I feel I've been such an advocate for her - that even though we don't have that obvious click, we are very connected as well.

Bella is a much easier child. Bailey exhausts me and has challenged every idea I had prior to becoming a parent - but that is what MADE me a parent.

There are times when I may not exactly *like* them - but no matter how many times I think about it, I know I don't have a favorite.
I had a boyfriend in college whose mom said to me (not to my boyfriend, but to me, his girlfriend) one time:

Sometimes Michael is my favorite, because he is my oldest.
Sometimes Tommy is my favorite, because he is my youngest.
Sometimes Katie is my favorite, because she is my only daughter.
Christopher? Christopher can take care of himself.

Chris was, of course, the boyfriend. She was (is) a professional psychologist.

If you have a favorite, do not ever let them know.
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I too had a boyfriend who was sure he was his mother's favorite. That meant she confided her problems with his siblings in him. Worked out great!

I suspect I was my father's favorite, but he was somehow closer to my brother. Was it the sexism inherent in his/our culture, or him making up for liking me better? Or maybe it's a typical ego illusion on my part. Who knows?
Ivy is my favorite. My late husband and I were the only ones at the hospital when she was born and no one even came to visit for two weeks. We had so much time to bond without others interfering. She was my life when we lived in VA all alone and her father was gone overseas. She is and has always been such a sensitive soul. There has always been a deep conncection between the two of us.

I have a different connection with Luke. I immediately started bonding with him in the womb and couldn't wait to meet my little boy. Then the pregnancy SPD kicken in and it was 3 months of utter pain. I couldn't walk without help, take care of my toddler daughter, drive. I needed help with everything. I had to sleep sitting up, if I laid down it was too painful to get up. I had to wake my mom up in the middle of the night just to walk me to the bathroom. Add to that my husband was in Iraq and we had no contact. When Luke was born it was hard for me to bond with him. Postpartum depression and feeling guilty for getting to be with my son while my husband hadn't even met him yet really took a toll on both of us. I loved him, fed him, cuddled him the same way I had with Ivy but it didn't feel the same. When my husband finally came home it got better but by then Luke was 5 months old. Now you would never know I felt that way then. He is such a momma's boy and I love it. He brings the humor to our lives, that's for sure.

Please don't criticize me for this. I love my children fiercely. I loe how different they both are. They bring me happiness and joy every day. They saved me when my husband died. I love being a mom, their mom. I just wanted to be honest.
High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

I have four kids. I have told them all at one point or another that they are my favorite, usually during a cuddle and to not tell the other kids because it would hurt their feelings. I dont know yet if they have figured out they all got this talk.

my baby aminah is my very special girl. she is the one always asking me how i am, how was my day. when im down she will be the first to sit next to me and hold my hand, tellng me in her wise 8 year old way, that she thinks i need a friend and she is going to keep me company. when she sees me she leaps into my arms like i was gone for weeks instead of just at work for the day. when she wakes, i am the first person she looks for and when she has news, as all 8 year olds do, im the first one she wants to tell. She is connected to me in very different ways than the others. she and i click. so there u have it. i have a favorite, i just hope the others done figure it out.
Ivy is my favorite. My late husband and I were the only ones at the hospital when she was born and no one even came to visit for two weeks. We had so much time to bond without others interfering. She was my life when we lived in VA all alone and her father was gone overseas. She is and has always been such a sensitive soul. There has always been a deep conncection between the two of us.

I have a different connection with Luke. I immediately started bonding with him in the womb and couldn't wait to meet my little boy. Then the pregnancy SPD kicken in and it was 3 months of utter pain. I couldn't walk without help, take care of my toddler daughter, drive. I needed help with everything. I had to sleep sitting up, if I laid down it was too painful to get up. I had to wake my mom up in the middle of the night just to walk me to the bathroom. Add to that my husband was in Iraq and we had no contact. When Luke was born it was hard for me to bond with him. Postpartum depression and feeling guilty for getting to be with my son while my husband hadn't even met him yet really took a toll on both of us. I loved him, fed him, cuddled him the same way I had with Ivy but it didn't feel the same. When my husband finally came home it got better but by then Luke was 5 months old. Now you would never know I felt that way then. He is such a momma's boy and I love it. He brings the humor to our lives, that's for sure.

Please don't criticize me for this. I love my children fiercely. I loe how different they both are. They bring me happiness and joy every day. They saved me when my husband died. I love being a mom, their mom. I just wanted to be honest.
Originally Posted by Jess the Mess
Wow. I have no real opinion about favorites. I just wanted to send you virtual e-hugs, thats quite a story.
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Thanks to all those who responded.

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TY both. I didn't mean to be a downer to the thread but sometimes it's even therapeutic for me to admit those feelings.

I wanted to add that I am my dad's fave and everyone knows it. I am the only one of his 3 children he raised full time and so it turned out that way. My sister has never made me feel bad for it but sometimes it's apparent that my brother harbors resentment. I don't want that for my children and try very hard not to show them my feelings.

I have thought a lot about this in the last 5 years. After my husband died I said I wouldn't have any more children. I didn't want the older 2 to be resentful that their siblings had a father and they didn't or that their new siblings woulds be loved more by their step father. My late husband had a step father that did that to him and I saw how much pain it caused. After SO and I became serious I changed my mind. I knew he loved my kids like his own and any new siblings wouldn't be (openly) favored over the older 2. I can't say he wouldn't have one since I do but we have talked at great length how important it is to never show it.
High Priestess JessMess, follower of the Goddess of the Coiling Way and Confiscator of Concoctions in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

I really don't belong here since I only have ONE child who obviously is my favorite.

But I wanted to share with you my Dads angle on the FAV thing.
I am the middle child of the three of us and I am my Dads
FAV SECOND CHILD!!!!!!
And so one for the other two.
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BTW, having a fave, in general or at times, doesn't mean you dont absolutely love all your kids.

It usually comes down to favoring ones style or personality or one being the underdog, or some particular circumstance. Sometimes it comes down to chemistry, like any other relationship; like having a favorite sibling or cousin.
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First to Jess....I think your story was so wonderful and I appreciate your honesty. I don't think it was a downer at all but a way of showing how much children can enrich our lives.

I don't really have a favorite out of my two girls but I have times where I like one more than the other. They are such different people and I love them both, but just for different reasons. My oldest is so smart, sweet and sensitive but goes through phases where she is almost teenage-like with her mouth and takes forever to do the simplest task I ask of her. My youngest is always making me laugh, and is so fun-loving and cute but could use a tranquilizing dart sometimes and can be as stubborn as a mule.

I was told by my sisters that I was "Daddy's girl" and they still give me hell for it. I never felt like I was treated any different than they were, but like most of you had mentioned, I think he and I shared more of a bond than he did with my other two sisters.
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I am the favorite of both of my parents.

Code:
I'm an only child.
I'm interested in the respones to this thread because my husband is afraid if we have more than one child that we will favor one and the other will feel inferior.


"Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift . . . that's why it's called the present." - Unknown
No, I don't have a favorite. I love them equally but I love different things about them.

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

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