Irritating roommates! Advice please?/ RANT

Ajidahk · 10-18-2009, 04:27 PM

This is A VERY long rant, but I'd really appreciate anyones advice.

Ok, so, I have 3 roommates and all of them are really starting to bug me, two of them specifically. One girl, lets call her roommate A, whose room is right next to mine has her boyfriend and brother over EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT! She has her brother (a freshman) over all the time. Mind you, he lives in a big room on the floor above us. He has some of his food stashed in our fridge (taking up space we hardly have) and knocks on the door constantly to be let in because he's always going in and out! He's also very loud. He'll sit in our living room blasting the TV or movies from his lap top. He also leaves a mess in the kitchen and living room. Roommate A has also given her brother my cell number so that he can call me when she's in class on the campus up the street (she's in pharmacy school). He has called me many times at like 8am and 9am in the morning when I have class because he wants to be let into the apartment to get food or his laptop or whatever-- like I'm supposed to stop what I'm doing to let him in?! Pssh, please! He can stand outside until the cows come home as far as I'm concerned! Most of the time, I ignore the calls though. I'm a really nice person, but I can see myself blowing up on her and her brother.--very soon! The funny thing is that she knows that I'm nice, that's why she gave her brother my number instead of the other roomies because she's "afraid"of them ( roommate A is Indian and has been her for 2 years and often blames her culture on her fear of things). Her bf is here every night and they are often up until like 5 am chatting and playing music. Roommate A skips class a lot and sleeps in until like 4pm. I usually get back to the apartment between 1pm- 4pm most days. I'll turn on my TV or will play music at a moderate level and she'll complain about that. I just think that trying to be as quite as I can possibly be after 12pm is ridiculous. It's not like she ever tries to be quiet for me at night. Thankfully, I'm a hard sleeper. I will, from now on, start ignoring her. I have half a mind to blast my music at 12pm when I get back from class tomorrow. Is that childish? Lol

Another roommate, we'll call her roommate B, has been irritating me too-- well not really her per se, but her company. She has a freeloader friend that sleeps on our couch every day of the week, except for Saturdays sometimes. Every morning, I have to tiptoe into the kitchen (the kitchen and living room are connected) to make something to eat really quickly before I head to class. Her friend is another one who constantly calls me, like I have no life and because, again, I'm the nice one, to let her into the apartment. One time she called me like 5 times at 4am because she was locked out and roommate B was at a party. I ignored that call. Her friend freaking lives in this city about 30 mins from campus, but insists on staying with us. She even has a huge tupperware bin of her crap in our living room, making it an eyesore. Roommate B is even getting annoyed by her but doesn't know how to tell her that she needs to go home in fear of it ruining their friendship (the friend catches an attitude quickly). Also, the few times that roommate B doesn't have her friend over, she has like 3 or 4 people in our living room and kitchen leaving a mess. They are also loud until like 3am. I'm just sick of it!

I just don't know what to do. I wouldn't care at all if I couldn't hear their company or see them, but, our walls are paper thin and our apartment is small. I have all this pinned up irritation and anger and I feel like I'm going to pop! I am very friendly with them and put on a nice face, but it's all a facade.

Now I have a friend staying over tomorrow night. This is the first person I've had stay over since school started. My friend will be staying in the living room, but I don't want him to have to fight for the couch because roommate B's friend may be staying over and she has a bit of an attitude problem. Some nights, roommate B's friend sleeps in the same bed as roommate B. Roommate B has complained to me about that but doesn't have the balls to tell her friend. I guess I can ask roommate B to have her friend sleep with her, but I have a feeling the friend will get an attitude and if she catches an attitude, I know I'm going to flip.

Any advice?

badgercurls · 10-18-2009, 04:42 PM

You are totally in the right on all of these issues. These aren't just annoying little quirks; it's essentially like you have 2 (or 3?) extra, non-rent-paying roommates who are also incredibly inconsiderate. As someone who actually pays rent on that apartment, you should have much more say in what goes on in the apartment than the friends who stay there without paying anything.

I think you need to have a talk with your roommates (just the people who actually pay rent there) and set up some ground rules for having visitors over. It sounds like a precedent has been set that it's okay to have friends/siblings stay there all the time and be really inconsiderate, and I don't think it's going to get any better until you make it clear that this is not okay... until you speak up, they will continue to take advantage of your kindness and patience.

The New Black · 10-18-2009, 04:58 PM

Agreed.

kat180 · 10-18-2009, 05:03 PM

I've been in similar situation. In the end I just had to speak up and establish ground rules. You pay rent and bills, they don't and until they do, what you say goes. Tell them to cough up money for essentially living there- and they'll soon leave. Worked for me

SarahMarie · 10-18-2009, 05:09 PM

I agree with what has already been said. Good luck! I've been there and done that. I am so glad that I live with just my husband now. Your apartment sounds exactly like the one I lived at when I was in college. I will never again have 3 roommates.

Ajidahk · 10-18-2009, 06:21 PM

Thanks for responding, guys. I'm going to do as you all said and stop being the doormat. It still pisses me off that they have no consideration for others. I mean, do they not know how rude and irritating they and their guest are?! I'm always considerate, that's how I was raised. I just don't know. And we all get along pretty well, I just don't want there to be attitude problems...Ugh, my roomies and I also have issues with the roommate A not cleaning up behind herself when she's done in the kitchen. She also NEVER takes out the trash. She's from a privileged part of India and thinks she doesn't have to do stuff-- like she's a princess or something. I'll be bring that up too.( A few weeks ago, one of my roommates put the bags of trash she was supposed to take out earlier in the week right in front of her door and she got so mad! Lol.) It's just a shame that we have to have this discussion. We are all in our early 20s and should know better. Thank GOODNESS that we don't share a room or bathroom. They would hate me. I CAN'T wait to live alone!!!