sibling that doesn't like your husband?

Does anyone have a sibling that doesn't like your husband? My older sister doesn't seem to like my husband and I wish they got along better because it makes family get togethers awekward. They got off on a rocky start and she seems to have no interest in moving on.

So I'm looking for advise. For those of you that have this problem, what did you do? Did you not worry about it or did you try to talk to the sibling?
Sorry, I really don’t have any advice, but a bit more info might help. Do you know why your sister doesn’t like your husband?
Was it just a bad first impression, or did he do or say something to her to cause the ill feelings?
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Duh..more info would help. DH and I met when we were 18 and we're 21 now. DD is 1 yr old and my older sister is 29. My family supported us for a while when my DH couldn't find a job he wanted. I really did appreciate their help during that time. I know she doesn't like how strict he is with DD but she never openly says anything. I'll admit that's he stricter than I agree with. I think she thinks he acts entitled because he was willing to accept there help but isn't overly friendly to them. Sometimes he'll even say things to antognize at family dinners. He tries to play it off as having thoughtful converstaions but I privately know what he's doing even though he won't admit it. She also thinks he's very controlling of me since I stay at home while he works. I don't know. I just wish everyone could get along better. Anyone else been in this situation where you feel like your torn between your family and husband?
Duh..more info would help. DH and I met when we were 18 and we're 21 now. DD is 1 yr old and my older sister is 29. My family supported us for a while when my DH couldn't find a job he wanted. I really did appreciate their help during that time. I know she doesn't like how strict he is with DD but she never openly says anything. I'll admit that's he stricter than I agree with. I think she thinks he acts entitled because he was willing to accept there help but isn't overly friendly to them. Sometimes he'll even say things to antognize at family dinners. He tries to play it off as having thoughtful converstaions but I privately know what he's doing even though he won't admit it. She also thinks he's very controlling of me since I stay at home while he works. I don't know. I just wish everyone could get along better. Anyone else been in this situation where you feel like your torn between your family and husband?
Originally Posted by wireyfireyringletz


Sounds like your sister is concerned for you and your daughter...possibly with justification.
Duh..more info would help. DH and I met when we were 18 and we're 21 now. DD is 1 yr old and my older sister is 29. My family supported us for a while when my DH couldn't find a job he wanted. I really did appreciate their help during that time. I know she doesn't like how strict he is with DD but she never openly says anything. I'll admit that's he stricter than I agree with. I think she thinks he acts entitled because he was willing to accept there help but isn't overly friendly to them. Sometimes he'll even say things to antognize at family dinners. He tries to play it off as having thoughtful converstaions but I privately know what he's doing even though he won't admit it. She also thinks he's very controlling of me since I stay at home while he works. I don't know. I just wish everyone could get along better. Anyone else been in this situation where you feel like your torn between your family and husband?
Originally Posted by wireyfireyringletz


Sounds like your sister is concerned for you and your daughter...possibly with justification.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves

It sounds like you know your husband has some issues. There is not much you can do besides talk to your husband and have him change his attitude and definitely the way he talks to your family and treats them. I'm confused as to why you would talk to your sibling and not your husband first.
Sorry, but from your brief description hubby sounds like a bit of a jerk


I don't not like him, but I'm not close to my sisters husband at all. Hes kind of standoffish (we have an incredibly close family) and just not who I would have ever pictured her with. Shes happy though, so I support her 100% and am friendly with him when I call there and he picks up or they are visiting.
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I've been thinking about everyones responses. He could act better towards them. I know him better and I know that he's not really that way but I can't get him to see that you have to act differently around other people. He's sort of acting cute around them and I can tell they don't think it's cute at all. I hope that made sense because it's late I'm not thinking very good. I guess I always thought my family should behave a certain way but i see that it's a two way street.
I think everything has just built up with my sister. I'm going to talk to DH and see if he will just agree to act more mature and less antognizing when we're around them again to see what happens. His opinion is that he shouldn't have to but something has to change. My famiy has done too much for us and I can't lose them.
Send hubby and sis out on a date so's they can get to know each other and work out their differences.
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Sounds like your husband needs to grow up a bit. Sorry if thats harsh. He should def be polite and friendly towards them- they have welcomed him into their family, and helped out and been generous as you say, if nothing more, when he is as a guest in their house he should be polite- thats just good manners.

Maybe he resents how much help they have given or finds them 'interfering', or maybe he just needs a character check- only you can figure that out. Def have a talk with him.
Well, it doesn't sound as though she doesn't like him for no reason. She is 29 years old, shes wiser more than likely.

I don't care for my sister's husband. Shes two years older than me, and he is a year older than me. He has always tried to act like he was much more mature and experienced in life because he dropped out of high school and is a job floater. That irritated me from the start. What really sealed the deal for me is the fact that he likes to take off with his friends every weekend and leave my sister home with two toddlers. He will also dump the children off at my grams or his grams if he is supposed to watch them for the day because my sis needs to go somewhere.
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Sounds like your husband needs to grow up a bit. Sorry if thats harsh. He should def be polite and friendly towards them- they have welcomed him into their family, and helped out and been generous as you say, if nothing more, when he is as a guest in their house he should be polite- thats just good manners.

Maybe he resents how much help they have given or finds them 'interfering', or maybe he just needs a character check- only you can figure that out. Def have a talk with him.
Originally Posted by kat180
Ditto.

Sounds like your sister is concerned for you and your daughter...possibly with justification.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
This. Your sister might also see something you don't see or aren't willing to admit to see, so she could be annoyed by that too, but maybe doesn't want to get involved too much because you two are married.
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2 choices here.....either they make the effort to improve the relationship they have or they need to just drop it and be civil to each other with no more attached. Either way both sides need to grow up and figure out how to make stop making you and everyone else uncomfortable.

I have the flip flop going on. My BIL hates me. I've worried to much about it and never have figured out why. Hubby has no clue why either. I've never done anything to him to be treated so nasty. I wasn't even aware of his dislike towards me until a few years ago. I would be having a convo with someone at our family get togethers and he'd come running up to try to put me in my place and embaress me in front of family. The wierd thing about it was the convo we would be having would be something very trivial like how good warm fuzzy socks feel in the winter time, or how good big giant pickles are, or even how I wanted to plant a weeping willow tree in my back yard..stupid stuff like that.

I've asked my hubby to talk to him about it but my hubby is a very nonconfrontation guy and wouldn't do it. So I tend to take things into my own hands. I finally asked him about why he had such a problem with me, and he wouldn't give me an answer...it was childish like....cause I do. So if he's not willing to work on it, I'm not expending the energy on it. Now when he runs up to make comments I just turn and walk away from him so he no longer has that opportunity. I'm always civil to him but won't tolerate the crazyness anymore.
I know EXACTLY what it's like to have family that doesn't like your husband! Although I don't have the same exact situation as yours, my husband "rubbed them the wrong way" because he's honest, to the point, blunt and does NOT lie to or about people.

He also happens to be my first boyfriend- I have three brothers and a dad that were all very overprotective and "typical" in that sense. You know the classic teenage scene where we see the dad/men of the family planning to clean their guns when the new boyfriend comes over? I'm not kidding, they actually did it, and I was 19! Though because of the kind of person my husband is, he thought nothing of it and thought the guns were pretty cool and ended up asking a ton of questions (can we say that one backfired? LOL)

The worst relationship in my family is between my husband and the brother that is a year older than me (two older brothers, one younger). The one a year older than me was picking on our youngest brother and being a real a-hole this one time, so my husband stood up for my younger brother because older brother was being really stupid. Older brother and hubby got into a pretty bad argument/fight and my brother still hasn't gotten over it and this was like four or five years ago.

The ONLY thing that seems to have remedied our situation, is my brother and husband spending time in each other's presence. I think a lot of this situation sounds like it has to do with your sister not being able to trust your husband and being offended in some manner by the kind of person he is. The only thing that seems to work for some people is seeing your family (husband, you, daughter) together, happy, and interacting with them in a positive manner. Since my brother's hung around my husband and I more, seen us interact, and my husband has positively interacted with this brother, things have come so far. Now almost six years later, said brother is almost entirely friendly to my husband. I wish you and yours the best of luck, it's a really hard issue that I've been struggling with for the last several years and sometimes it just doesn't work out, no matter how hard you try. Either way, both parties have to put in effort to make it work.
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Duh..more info would help. DH and I met when we were 18 and we're 21 now. DD is 1 yr old and my older sister is 29. My family supported us for a while when my DH couldn't find a job he wanted. I really did appreciate their help during that time. I know she doesn't like how strict he is with DD but she never openly says anything. I'll admit that's he stricter than I agree with. I think she thinks he acts entitled because he was willing to accept there help but isn't overly friendly to them. Sometimes he'll even say things to antognize at family dinners. He tries to play it off as having thoughtful converstaions but I privately know what he's doing even though he won't admit it. She also thinks he's very controlling of me since I stay at home while he works. I don't know. I just wish everyone could get along better. Anyone else been in this situation where you feel like your torn between your family and husband?
Originally Posted by wireyfireyringletz


Sounds like your sister is concerned for you and your daughter...possibly with justification.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
Absolutely this. He kinda sounds like a jerk. He's strict to a degree that you don't agree with, he picks at people during dinner and then feigns ignorance about what he's doing, and he's got you defending him even when you seem to know you shouldn't be (in this post you say you know he's being intentionally antagonistic, and later in the thread you say you know him better than they do and that he's not really like that... Which is it?).

He sounds like a jerk, and if you were my sister I wouldn't likely be as genial as your sister is being. Good luck.
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