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View Poll Results: Whats the best way for you (a woman) to acheive an orgasm
through intercourse? 18 20.45%
through oral sex? 11 12.50%
through masturbation? 16 18.18%
oral and masturbation? 25 28.41%
all of the above? 18 20.45%
Voters: 88. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-12-2006, 03:51 PM   #1
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Default Orgasms (very adult, pls beware)

Ok I am really putting all my business out there but reading the last sex thread got me thinking. I am not really able to have an orgasm from intercourse, so far only oral sex or masturbation works. I have read tons of books, asked doctors, researched websites, etc. Its becoming increasingly frustrating, especially now that I am dating someone again. From the first time we had sex, it was amazing.

Although I have read that only 30% of women can orgasm from intercourse I am starting to believe that isn't true. All of my friends except three of us can and every guy I have been with has said I was the only one that they can't make orgasm (although the women could've been faking).

What am I not doing or doing wrong? My partner is satisfied and while I am enjoying the sex I want to "finish" too. I love love love intercourse, it feels amazing but I just can't orgasm from it.

Is this happening to anyone else (if you care to share)?
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Old 09-12-2006, 04:09 PM   #2
 
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That is true, and it's more like only 10% can. The women you speak to don't want to feel stupid by admitting they can't. Women are made to feel like they are doing soemthing wrong if they don't orgasm from penis thrusting alone. And please, if a guy told me women always orgasm with them I would not be able to stop laughing
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Old 09-12-2006, 04:12 PM   #3
 
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This might be a little TMI...

This happened to me for at least the first 4 months with my boyfriend...I used to fake it, which I regret now. I found that the only way I really could finish was with me on top, slightly leaned over him, and now he knows that too. The sex has been much better for BOTH of us since then. I think its a matter of expressing your needs with your partner and experimentation. I don't know how long you've been seeing your guy, but I think its different for everyone with how long it will take to get into the swing of things.

And don't believe that you are the ONLY GIRL that these guys haven't made orgasm. You are just the only HONEST girl
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Old 09-12-2006, 04:48 PM   #4
 
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I always wonder where do these numbers come from. Has anyone here ever been interviewed about how often and when they orgasm? Are they referring to Shere Hite's research that's from twenty years ago??

Some things that you can try-
different positions, the missionary position is probably the worst for a women to obtain an orgasm. Ask your partner to slow it down, or at least start off slowly, varying his thrusts so some are deep and some are shallow. Also, play with new positions that might help hit the G-spot, like girl-on-top, reverse girl on top(so that you're facing away from your partner) and doggie style. If you're uncomfortable with doggie style try variations, such as, you knelling on the bed and partner standing behind you or both of you standing with you bent over a bed or large cushion. If you're flexible there's a kama sutra position where you stand bent over with your hands on the floor or a low cushion and your partner thurst slow with variation between deep and shallow. I've also found that elavating my hips using pillows or liberator type cushions can help immensly because it changes the angle of penetration. Using a small vibrator during intercourse can also be fun and produce mind blowing orgasms. Remember that orgasms are partly mental and partly physical so relax and have fun.
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Old 09-12-2006, 04:59 PM   #5
 
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Many women cannot reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation - which most intercourse positions do not deliver. Like Strawbericurls said, a good one is you-on-top and then you lean forward so that you can grind your clitoris against his pubic bone.

Here's another good one, with a very graphic descriptions so stop reading if you'll get grossed out. You on top, facing his feet, then you lay back so that your head is right beside his (he can put a pillow beside his head for you). His chest is against your back. Not only does this position give great G-spot stimulation, but his hands are free to stimulate your breasts and clitoris as well.
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:02 PM   #6
 
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Nik, would you mind adding a poll to this thread? I'm curious about the responses too, and I have a feeling a lot more people will come (no pun intended ) out of the woodwork if they can respond anonymously.
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:05 PM   #7
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Code:
ITA tantrum...
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:14 PM   #8
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PixieCurl
Many women cannot reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation - which most intercourse positions do not deliver. Like Strawbericurls said, a good one is you-on-top and then you lean forward so that you can grind your clitoris against his pubic bone.
That could work unless you're like me and like the lightest of clitoral touch and I mean light. Grinding doesn't work. And having a penis inside me is distracting when I'm trying to have an orgasm.
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:18 PM   #9
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:20 PM   #10
 
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Blushing as I type, but...

The majority of women require oral/cunnilingus (sp?) from their mate to achieve actual orgasm-as it involves sucking/stimulating the clitoris directly.

In terms of those who reach climax with coital sex, I heard that the missionary position is best in terms of stimulating the clitoris which is necessary for orgasm... But it might work with you on top, however it never works from behind, because there is no stimulation of the clitoris (which is near the front) that way...

So try missionary and also try it while you are on top and see if you FEEL any difference in either position. And try it at different paces, slow to faster to see if a change of pace will help... And if not, then he shouldn't mind being oral, to ensure that you do.

ETA: yoga also helps. My friend is very advanced and she says there's a definit correlation to sensual pleasure and advanced yoga skill-set...
I also remember a long time ago Sting said he can 'please' his wife for hours on end if she needs it by witholding his own orgasm indefinitely...I think he does tanctric (sp?) yoga...
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:25 PM   #11
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ConcernedCoils
ETA: yoga also helps.
Really? Do tell...
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Old 09-12-2006, 05:31 PM   #12
 
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Doing your kegels before hand can help because it increases circulation, and they are good for you anyway.
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Old 09-12-2006, 06:16 PM   #13
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I have tried so many positions its not funny but none seem to work, they feel great but don't get me "there". Now I have not tried a mini vibrator...I had to ween myself off my private vibrator LOL :P . I will have to try that next. I am hanging on to hope that I need to completely relax, that could be an issue. It took a while for me to achieve an orgasm through oral sex, but once I relaxed it happened. I am "relaxed" but stressing out over if its going to happen, when, etc may be causing the problem. Not to mention finally I am with a man that can last long enough for me to relax
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Old 09-12-2006, 06:23 PM   #14
 
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I wasn't going to reply since I don't feel well but screw it.

Yea intercourse orgasms are nice I thought the number would be higher since the group I hang around with all have orgasms contests to see who can have the most. We're all hussies. I couldn't tell you which position works the best, since I don't really pay attention to anything except the sensations flowing through my body. I think women put way to much thought into this which means they are blocking something important out. If I had to think about it I don't think I could ***; my advice is lots of foreplay, mental is what really turns me on I love getting nasty kinky text messages from my spare partner telling me what he is going to do to me, the act of preparing myself for some great sex is a turn on and by the time he comes over for lunch I'm about to jump out of my skin. He teases me forever until I'm begging for penetration, so the first orgasm usually hits me with his first stroke. I usually end up on bottom because the guys like to watch me.

Then again I'm a freak who loves sex, I enjoy exploring my sexuality and broading my orgasm range. I've learned to enjoy things that I hated before just because I brought another partner into my life. I've also learned men are simple creatures to please, I'm the one both guys worry about pleasing. If I don't have atleast 15-20 orgasms they feel so let down. Yes experienced guys know when you are faking, it's all about letting yourself go and letting it happen.

I know way to much info. I'm not trying to top (hee) anyone.
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Old 09-12-2006, 06:35 PM   #15
 
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I can achieve orgasm in any position. Oh! Wait we are not talking about men here. My wife and I have had many discussions on this topic. Wanting to pleasure her as much as she does me I try very hard to get her there. "NO pun intended" While there have been a few occasions when she did from sex alone. It normally takes quite along time. We usually do one of two things now. We have sex for awhile, and then when I get near mine, I take a break and she uses a toy to take her the rest of the way. Then I go back to finish up. Or sometimes we will incorporate the toy into a sexual position. This usually does the trick rather quickly.

Still these are not things we do every time. She has made it clear to me that it is not important to her that she orgasm every time we have sex. She knows what she needs, and we have little key words to communicate those needs. That way I know what she is looking for before we start.

Comfort and trust play a very big role in female orgasms I believe. In the beginning she was guarded and shy. Over the years communication and continued experimenting have led to a much more open and trusting sexual experience.

I am comfortable with that now. I do not feel like a failure because I can not make her climax every time we have sex. I am just thankful that I get to be there sometimes when she does, and know that I had a part to play in that.
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Old 09-12-2006, 06:40 PM   #16
 
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I rarely have an orgasm through oral sex. The stimulation feels too hard. I need to be really aroused, THEN have oral, in order to orgasm that way, which is why it rarely happens, since most people use it as foreplay to get aroused.

I do have, I don't know, G-spot orgasms I suppose is what they are, through intercourse fairly regularly. I do agree, however, with those that say mental stimulation is SO important. It doesn't matter what's going on with my body if my head's not into it.
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Old 09-12-2006, 07:00 PM   #17
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aries_jb
It doesn't matter what's going on with my body if my head's not into it.
Or his! *rimshot*

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Old 09-12-2006, 07:02 PM   #18
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mephisto
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aries_jb
It doesn't matter what's going on with my body if my head's not into it.
Or his! *rimshot*

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Old 09-12-2006, 07:13 PM   #19
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mandyv
And having a penis inside me is distracting when I'm trying to have an orgasm.
OMG mandy I laughed so hard I cried when I read this
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Old 09-12-2006, 07:17 PM   #20
 
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I can sometimes have them during intercourse, but it takes a long time and doesn't always happen. But I always enjoy intercourse and as long as I get off, I don't really care how I get there.
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