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Old 09-16-2010, 08:58 AM   #21
 
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My head's okay.

My heart's not so good, though. I lost two possible partners within a week, one of whom I was half in love with.

Enjoy your sick day, though. I sincerely hope your boss doesn't stop by your parking lot with his mother.
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Old 09-16-2010, 09:59 AM   #22
 
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(((Hugs))) back to each of you for responding. I was very anxious about being so honest and vulnerable but it was worth it. Your answers were very helpful.

Rbb, I felt you really understood where I was at because you've had similar experiences. I was so glad to read your post because it made me feel less like there was something "wrong" with me and to be frank, I needed a little sympathy which you gave me. I felt your warmth right away.

2Poodles, you made me smile and feel good! You said "you've got us here" and it was really, really important to me. Having my curly friends has helped me feel less lonely - even if that does sound a little dorky, but I've been housebound so much this year.

Lotsa, Lotsa, Lotsa - I wish you lived close by too! You know you're one of my very favorite people on this forum, and you'd be a great, fun and special friend. The "wine bats" sounds perfect for me - since I have bats in my belfry these days. Both of your posts helped me feel better. Love you, sweetie.

SDC that's a cool idea! Girlfriend circles is exactly what I need. I've never heard of that. I will definitely look into it and report back. There has to be something like that in NYC. I get MORE magazine and I'll have to start reading it more closely.

RCW I like the idea of a pottery class. I want to have pottery that I can fling against the wall when I am feeling furious which is alternating with sadness these days. Crash!!! I did try one yoga class; but it wasn't for me. I forgot that I had planned to try yoga a while back. I will give it another shot with a different type of yoga.

Thanks again to everyone for the ideas and the support!!!. I've been embarrassed about feeling so lonely (I think - what's wrong with me that I have so few friends?) but I feel much better today and I don't feel anymore like it's my fault. I just have to make more of an effort at this age.
I get the same way, I think a lot of it is age. My two favorite friends drifted away after they had kids. Especially once the kids got to be teenagers. With working and trying to have a family life they didn't seem to have time for someone who was childless. I do have a husband, but you know we all need our girlfriends. I have a close friend but honestly, we are very different and I'm not sure how we got so close. I can talk to her though, but we don't like to "do" the same kinds of things, so we stick to dinner and talking. I am also very close to my sister but she lives 2,000 miles away! I have a few "friends" that I see for birthday celebrations, but that is really it for them.

I do plan to go to a girlfriends circle meeting if they have any closer to me, but honestly, I'm afraid I wil feel like the odd man out. I can do the superficial small talk, but when it comes time to actually turn an acquaintence into a friend, I don't seem to have whatever it is that gets it done.

This thread is actually making me feel better too, (or at least more normal).
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Old 09-16-2010, 10:39 AM   #23
 
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Hi SDC,

I'm glad the thread is making you feel more normal - it definitely helped me in that regard.

Everyone who answered - my special curly friends
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Old 09-16-2010, 11:49 PM   #24
 
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I hadn't thought about meetup in some time, but I did go on and I found a local beer club that interests me. The age range is varied, which is fine, although I do hope there are some other middle aged folks there. Mostly though, I will enjoy exploring the fancy beer places I haven't been to yet.

I do work most evenings, but it would be fun to go if they events on one of my days off.
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:16 AM   #25
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Ah, CP, too bad hubby is not w/ his old company.
We used to get to go to NYC in December every year.
I'm guessing you were here/there when we used to go...miss it!
Would have loved to have met you!
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Old 09-17-2010, 08:21 PM   #26
 
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I hadn't thought about meetup in some time, but I did go on and I found a local beer club that interests me. The age range is varied, which is fine, although I do hope there are some other middle aged folks there. Mostly though, I will enjoy exploring the fancy beer places I haven't been to yet.

I do work most evenings, but it would be fun to go if they events on one of my days off.
Beer meetups? My drink of choice. I'll have to look in to this.
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Old 09-17-2010, 08:27 PM   #27
 
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Ah, CP, too bad hubby is not w/ his old company.
We used to get to go to NYC in December every year.
I'm guessing you were here/there when we used to go...miss it!
Would have loved to have met you!
Wile, I can't even imagine you in person! You are such an original.
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Old 09-17-2010, 08:28 PM   #28
 
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it's my honor to see this article.thank you very much.i like making friends.
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Old 09-18-2010, 01:48 PM   #29
 
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I never had a lot of close friends to begin with and at this point in life, those that I'm really close to don't live close. Also, as an only child, never married, etc., seems like at this point in life my life revolves around my parents, both 82, especially my dad whose health is always in a precarious state.

That being said, I'm slowly forcing myself to get involved and meet people, as best as I can, because quite frankly my sanity depends on it. Things that I'm doing are Meetup groups (Jazz and Natural Hair) and getting more involved in some of the activities that the Singles Ministry at the church I attend puts together. It is tough because right now I still can't be consistent even with that but it's a start and is definitely helping to get out and meet people.
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:43 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wile E Coyote - The Vault View Post
Ah, CP, too bad hubby is not w/ his old company.
We used to get to go to NYC in December every year.
I'm guessing you were here/there when we used to go...miss it!
Would have loved to have met you!
Wile, I can't even imagine you in person! You are such an original.

If you're ever in Tejas!
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Old 09-19-2010, 06:52 AM   #31
 
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I am "a woman of a certain age."

I get to say that because:

a) I'm drunk right now;

b) I'm of French background;

c) I can't believe I'm older than dirt, already!

What all this means is that I'm 40-ish. It happened so fast!
One minute I was looking in the mirror in my twenties (and thinking I'm too fat); and now, 20 years later, I'm doing the same godamned thing!

Too much wine for Ninja. Apologies for any absurdity (beyond the usual).
One of the best posts ever!
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Old 09-19-2010, 11:42 AM   #32
 
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meetup.com and such type of groups.

I like the opportunity of causal commitment plus you can pick & choose whatever fits your mood at that time.
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Old 09-22-2010, 08:40 PM   #33
 
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I belong to a women's reading group. I LOVE it. I love these women. We're there for each other, far beyond just reading a book a month.

I'd recommend looking into clubs so you can meet people with common interests.
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Old 09-22-2010, 10:01 PM   #34
 
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I'm thinking of a reading group, as well. I don't read as much as I should, but I love to read. I just purchased "Room" from Amazon. Sounds interesting.
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Old 09-24-2010, 11:00 AM   #35
 
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I'm glad I stumbed on this thread. This subject can be depressing, but the responses are really helpful, CP. I'm only 41, but even at my age, it can be difficult to make new friends. Just from my experience, many of the people I went to school with got married, had kids and/or moved away, so over time, they drifted away as I didn't have much in common with them anymore, since I'm single, childfree and/or live far away. The Internet has greatly improved my social life. Within the last 10 years, I met many of my current friends through Meetup and a couple of other singles social activity groups online. Some people argue that the Internet can increase social isolation and for some people, that's true. If you're motivated and make some effort, it doesn't have to be that way.
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Old 09-24-2010, 02:02 PM   #36
 
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LadyV, I'm sure you must be a great friend! Good luck.

A lot of us seem to be in this boat.
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2/c and some 3A. Modified CG.
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Conditioners: Curl Junkie Beauticurls Strengthening Conditioner,
Deep condish: Curl Junkie Curl Rehab
Stylers: Experimenting with cones & sulfates while the dews are high. Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
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Old 09-24-2010, 05:29 PM   #37
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mailgirl View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ninja dog View Post
I am "a woman of a certain age."

I get to say that because:

a) I'm drunk right now;

b) I'm of French background;

c) I can't believe I'm older than dirt, already!

What all this means is that I'm 40-ish. It happened so fast!
One minute I was looking in the mirror in my twenties (and thinking I'm too fat); and now, 20 years later, I'm doing the same godamned thing!

Too much wine for Ninja. Apologies for any absurdity (beyond the usual).
One of the best posts ever!
Thank you.
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Old 09-24-2010, 09:41 PM   #38
 
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We see children in a park - who never knew one other before easily making friends without thought but as adults we need to seek out an outlet.

Children are so smart!
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