How young a guy could you pull? Keep?

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Weird question to me but I recently started visiting a discussion forum on the topic of dating. No particular reason except I had it bookmarked from a few yrs ago when I wanted to ask a question and I just recently rediscovered it.

Some interesting conversations taking place over there! But one that keeps coming up is this belief that by age 30 men "with options" will only really be interested in women 5-10 yrs younger, and continue to have this preference for the rest of their lives.(But losers will take whatever they can get.)

I believe many men do have that preference (women 5-10 yrs younger) or even younger than that, based on my experiences on dating sites. eg, I often see the profiles of men who are 40 saying they are looking for women 28-41. This wknd I saw a 48 yrs old man with a preference for women 18-40. (He made the mistake of messaging me and I tore his ass up!)

So on this discussion board today a 61 yr old woman said she joined a 50+ dating site, explaining that she looks good and thinks she "can compete w/ 50 y/os...but not 40 y/os."

Certain men took issue w/ this woman's comment and as usual, spewed a lot of stuff about "don't delude youself, you can't land a 50 y/o blahblah"...even tho all she said was she classes herself among the 50 women on the site...not whether 50 y/o men would be interested in a 61 y/o woman.

Anyway, I never really thought about this before. I have pretty much exclusively always dated older men bc I was kind of an early bloomer/achiever and wanted someone who had met the same milsetones I had.

But now that I'm getting older, I'm finding the older guys gross, and even the guys my age are leaving a lot to be desired in various ways.

Young guys still make passes at me but...not as many as before. And it's been a minute since a teenager has. (Good, bc that's AWKWARD! lol)

But I'm wondering, if I did decide I wanted to date younger or even my exact age, how hard would it be? How hard to attract them? And how hard for us to keep up w/ each other? (bc i'm assuming somewhat of a struggle on both sides in different areas)
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG

I dated and became engaged to a man five years younger than me. And I've dated younger several times since.

I would say that age didn't really come into it....except for the first one.

I do agree though that men consistently avoid acknowledging their own age by seeking younger, more malleable partners. It strikes me as pathetic.

http://geaugadoggy.wordpress.com
I dated and became engaged to a man five years younger than me. And I've dated younger several times since.

I would say that age didn't really come into it....except for the first one.

I do agree though that men consistently avoid acknowledging their own age by seeking younger, more malleable partners. It strikes me as pathetic.
Originally Posted by claudine191
Is it malleable they want...or firm? LOL As in, are they going for younger women for emotional reasons or physical?

My exhusband is a lot older than I am. He said he wanted a younger woman bc he didn't have any kids and most of the women his age already had kids, and he wanted someone w/ whom he could start a family...for the first time.

IDK if I believe that explanation completely. Maybe some of what you said rings true. (I'm not wimpy but I probably let a lot more of his BS slide than an older woman would have. Plus, less baggage.)

He actually lied about his age, too. Never will I overlook a red flag like that.

So how old were you when you were w/ the guy 5 yrs younger? In what ways was the age difference a factor? Would it have been obvious to a casual observer that you were older?
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 02-21-2014 at 12:40 PM.
Recently saw a gal, very young looking, trying to go gray but her husband pitched a fit. He didn't want to be married to someone who "looks old". I'm telling you even gray this woman would not "look old". And you should see the husband. Has to be at least 65ish. I had to sit on my hands to not say something.
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@Chupie: Ugh. Men.

@spider: the younger man I dated most seriously was losing his hair (though he was still handsome), so I think we looked very close in age. It's hard to judge these things. Also, I worked out and he didn't (though he watched his weight).

Though five years isn't much (my ex-husband is six years older than I am), I
guess I would say that there was a bit of provincialism in him that manifested as immaturity. I was more experienced in that I'd traveled and lived in more than one other city. In retrospect, though we were well-matched in many ways, I think his lack of sophistication was more annoying than I was willing to admit at the time.

http://geaugadoggy.wordpress.com
Ex husband was same age. First two serious relationships post split/divorce were few years older than me (43 at the time). Since breaking up with BF I had from 2007-2010, every significant relationship (albeit short term and not serious, lol) has been with a guy who is younger than me.

Current BF (met in 2010 when I was 46; serious relationship status in 2011 when I was 47) is six years younger than me. He has only known me with graying hair and he has always known I am older than him and he loves me dearly, as I do him. I am now 50, and we are still going strong.

To each his own. I was happy that BF was a year older than my "baby brother," although as much as we clicked even from the beginning, I'd have dealt with it if he had been younger, lol.

Now I can't deal with a guy who has "moobs;" had a concern once, and truthfully it would've only been a one leg up, but it turned out he didn't have "moobs." Hope this doesn't offend anyone, lol!
I've dated men 15 years older and 15 years younger and everything in between. Age really had little to do with the relationships working or not. In the end tho I really prefer being with someone within 5 years or so either way. It's just more comfortable and easier.
If a man or woman limit themselves to a certain age, they just might miss a fantastic relationship.
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Ex husband was same age. First two serious relationships post split/divorce were few years older than me (43 at the time). Since breaking up with BF I had from 2007-2010, every significant relationship (albeit short term and not serious, lol) has been with a guy who is younger than me.

Current BF (met in 2010 when I was 46; serious relationship status in 2011 when I was 47) is six years younger than me. He has only known me with graying hair and he has always known I am older than him and he loves me dearly, as I do him. I am now 50, and we are still going strong.

To each his own. I was happy that BF was a year older than my "baby brother," although as much as we clicked even from the beginning, I'd have dealt with it if he had been younger, lol.

Now I can't deal with a guy who has "moobs;" had a concern once, and truthfully it would've only been a one leg up, but it turned out he didn't have "moobs." Hope this doesn't offend anyone, lol!
Originally Posted by KauaiMareCurl
Does "moobs" mean male boobs?
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And here's us together. I love this man, dearly!
Attachment 42630
Originally Posted by KauaiMareCurl
Awwww! You-two look so cute together and so happy!
My hair is "exotic, beautiful and free",,,yeah, that be ME!!!
3B/C - Easy to straighten, [no heat ever/no protect. styling].

Low Porosity/Medium Density
Mid Width/BSL-stretched/
BC - 12/2012

I am a "Co-Wash/Finger Comb Lady!

Scalp Cleanser - SM ABS Purification Hair Masque
Co-wash - Tresemme Naturals
Leave In - SM CH C&S Cond.
Hydration - SM CH Curl Smoothie
Styler - SM CH Curl & Style Milk
Deep Cond. - SM Manuka & Mafura DC

This is an interesting thread.
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Last edited by sixelamy; 02-21-2014 at 07:37 PM.
Yes, moobs = man boobs. And thanks for the kind words. We are ridiculously happy together, going on three years
claudine191 and AngelaE8654 like this.
I look a decade younger and am arguably immature for my age so can date down age-wise without difficulty: that is men I have met in real life, never tried dating sites or agencies.

Last two significant partners are five years younger, in between was a brief stint with a man thirteen years younger. I finished it, he professed love and was still contacting me for months afterwards.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

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Experimenting with: benign neglect
I feel like there's something in the OP's phrasing.........something in the words, "Pull" and "Keep" that reinforces the idea of one's ego being tied to the degree of appeal one has have for men. I don't mean this as a judgement, but rather, an observation.

http://geaugadoggy.wordpress.com

Last edited by claudine191; 02-23-2014 at 11:08 AM.
I don't know. I always find myself wanting to strangle the younger men I date. For the majority of my 38 years, or at least the dating majority, I have been interested in guys my age. When I say my age I mean 2 years younger or older. I have dated guys 5 years older with no problems. I have dated guys 5 years younger with several problems, excluding one but it was strictly physical to be quite honest. I am not going to say I could never meet a younger guy that I could relate to but I can say that I have not met one so far. I feel like a complete opposite from them as far as everything goes. No common ground.


I do know there are several men who start looking for younger women once they hit a specific age, but there are just as many who do not.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

Just to add, I have wondered if I would have more problems with dating younger as I get older. At this point I in no way feel comfortable going 10 years younger. My oldest nephew is 11 years younger than me and it makes me feel pervy. I have no judgements for people who do date 10 years younger (unless they are underage). That's my discomfort zone. 5 years = no real connection possible (so far) and 10 years = pervert. Yep, I'm screwed on that one. Lol. But on the upside, I am finding older men more and more attractive (in my teens, 20's and early 30's the guys that were older than me, and interested were very intense. I want to eat your hair and gain it's magical powers, I think we knew each other in a past life, I want to buy you an apart in NOLA and come visit you kind of intense. I avoided because of this) and still love the fellas in my age range.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 02-22-2014 at 06:13 PM.
I went for thirteen years younger because he has children from a lengthy relationship, so I thought there might be a maturity match.

A major difference was our attitude to technology and social media. Mobile phones must have been the norm from his school days whereas I got my first Nokia at 29. I don't understand 'friends' on Facebook or Blackberry Messenger that are not people you actually know. I use niche interest message boards not Twitter. I text my mates but don't expect intimate relationships and even disagreements to be conducted largely via an instant messenger.

Interestingly there is also somewhat of a divide on this issue, tho much less pronounced, with those that are five years younger.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
A major reason I don't find men older than me attractive is honestly that many look old enough to be my father. I mostly know people who smoke like chimneys, I never have, that plus alcohol/ drugs really takes its toll by 50.

Equally it freaks me out if they look (or are!) young enough to be my son, I've had offers there plenty of times.

My current guy looks a good five years older than me, sort of craggy good looks/ rough and ready/ character.

Funny thing is I am not swayed by catalogue model cheekbones and abs (ugh) nor smooth unlined skin, and balding is great if they buzz cut the rest (mmm). Looking a little older than me is probably a bit like being taller, illogical.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
many look old enough to be my father.
Originally Posted by Firefox7275
And that's a problem because, you know, we are our parents age when we "cemented" them in our heads. My biggest issue during the time I went on Plenty of Fish is that 95% of the guys my age were uber motorcycle nuts. I mean Soooooooo many. I'm not big on motorcycles to start with and it makes me wonder if guy after guy after guy lists "motorcycles" first on their interest list and pose 40 ways with their bikes if this wasn't a major cause of their divorces. I mean it's unbelievable when guy after guy has a list that pretty much goes "motorcycles, hunting, fishing, anything outdoors". And that's a problem for me because I am NOT an outdoor enthusiast.
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