Aging Man turned off by aging partner's body...

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  • 3 Post By jeepcurlygurl
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This article really ticked me off. Does this aging man think he has such a perfect body in his 50s? Is this still a man's world in many ways ? Do many men still think they can sit around with their pot bellies and thinning hair and judge women so harshly but their signs of age on their bodies do not matter?

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Has this ever happened to anyone here? What do you think about this situation? How would you handle it?
I have found the opposite in most men. They think they look fine as they age and they think their aging partners look even finer.
To me, young people and women of all ages judge women much more harshly than older men.
And the fact that people think men with potbellies and thinning hair are not attractive is really no better than those who think women with saggy boobs and wrinkles are unnattractive.
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"And I said thank you to a sad man named Dave for reminding me of how precious it all is."

That is the best way to look at this type of situation. Dave is an a$$hole. I felt a little self-conscious last night because I've put on at least 15 pounds since the BF and I first met almost four years ago. But he STILL LOVES ME, and even 15 pounds lighter, I did not have the perfect body this Dave guy was looking for.

As my wonderful BF tells me, "You are still sexy, and besides, I've put on weight too." He's right, he has, but I still find him handsome and sexy and I love him dearly.
As far as how I'd handle it? I'd think the guy was a sad excuse for a man and move right along knowing that he has missed out on my AWESOME, beautiful, SEXY, fabulous self. Gray haired, 2c/3a sometimes frizzy hair with a lovely layer of fat covering my perfect size four body so that the perfect size four body doesn't get scratched up. I'd rather be single than be with a guy like that!
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That guy sounds like a colossal jerk, to put it mildly. The absolute nerve of him to accuse her of making a big deal out of what didn't think was a big deal, as far as what he said about her body. if he was that turned off from the beginning, then why did he spend 3 nights in her bed???
As was mentioned, the prevalence of porn has raised expectations for many men. Even much younger women are feeling challenged, because a lot of young guys expect them to look and be like the(usually)young women on the porn sites.
This woman is better off without him, and kudos to her for staying strong in herself and sharing her story. If she's sharing her story, then how many other women have experienced similar from men and suffered in silence? She sounded like she was in pretty good shape to me! I'm sure that if it's in the cards for her to meet up with one, there's a wonderful mature man who will appreciate her for everything who she is. Nobody gets to their 50s and up without showing some of the effects of simply living one's life unless they have all the money in the world to turn themselves into a scarily-cosmetic-surgically-enhanced imitation of themselves.
I read this on my FB feed yesterday. He was cruel and insensitive. I am glad she was able to love and embrace her body despite him.

It just amazed me to see the comments from women disparaging him by denigrating his manhood, speculating about the size of his penis, stating he was impotent. Doesn't saying those things pretty much make them no better than him? Smh

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I read this on my FB feed yesterday. He was cruel and insensitive. I am glad she was able to love and embrace her body despite him.

It just amazed me to see the comments from women disparaging him by denigrating his manhood, speculating about the size of his penis, stating he was impotent. Doesn't saying those things pretty much make them no better than him? Smh
Originally Posted by juanab
Personally, I don't feel comments re. a man being impotent, etc are equal to putdowns about a woman's wrinkliness or flab or whatever bc impotence and/or an especially small penis pose real, functional barriers to sex, and wrinkles and flab do not. (And yes, men who are experiencing impotence/ED/low T often do blame the women they are with for not being attractive enough...and other superfluous things, to deflect attn away from themselves, until they are able to come to terms w/ their problem.)

Dave is an a-hole imo...and I don't presume to have any ideas regarding his virility or penis size. Just a scum bag for what he said and an idiot for allowing himself to get "spoiled" by the bodies of younger women.

I'm so glad she cut him off right after that and didn't internalize his BS.
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Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 07-14-2014 at 03:05 PM.
I am of the mindset that a person doesn't have to be like or worse than the person they are criticizing. Take the high road. Attacking his penis size (something he can't change and which they know nothing about), makes them just as petty and mean as he is, IMO.

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I am of the mindset that a person doesn't have to be like or worse than the person they are criticizing. Take the high road. Attacking his penis size (something he can't change and which they know nothing about), makes them just as petty and mean as he is, IMO.
Originally Posted by juanab
It's childish, yes. But no one knows who he is. No one is attacking "his" penis size bc no one knows what "his" penis looks like. They're just a silly way to show solidarilty w/ the author.
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Dave is a tool - plain and simple.


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I hate this notion that men believe it's acceptable to demand so much from women....."Well, if you'd only be willing to make yourself into a fantasy figure, maybe I could get interested in you."

It just doesn't sound like he can handle the realness of intimacy with an equal partner.

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You know, this article thoroughly depressed me the other day. And tonight I got hit on by a waiter HALF my age (and I mean a serious pass, complete with phone number) so I am feeling much better and believe that maybe this article describes much more of an aberration than I thought. Keep in mind, I'm growing out my gray and it's showing plenty and I'm no Sophia Loren. So, while I know THAT is an unusual happening, it makes me think older guys can't be complete jerks like this guy in the article.
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You know, this article thoroughly depressed me the other day. And tonight I got hit on by a waiter HALF my age (and I mean a serious pass, complete with phone number) so I am feeling much better and believe that maybe this article describes much more of an aberration than I thought. Keep in mind, I'm growing out my gray and it's showing plenty and I'm no Sophia Loren. So, while I know THAT is an unusual happening, it makes me think older guys can't be complete jerks like this guy in the article.
Originally Posted by chupie
Chee hoo!

At the ripe age of 44, my marriage to my first and only intimate partner fell apart. I don't have a perfect body; I've had two kids and my body is definitively a reflection of that. Even when I am almost skeletal, I still have a tummy with loose extra skin and stretch marks.

Well, I went wild for a while there, I had some lost time to make up. NOT A SINGLE MAN who saw me in the nude the first time held back on intimacy. The nude me these guys saw ranged from skeletal to overweight.

And with the exception of one guy (a semi coworker in a drunken night of fun), none of the rest were one night stands. Two were older than me, and the rest were all younger, to include my current BF.

For all the ones that didn't work out, not a single one was because my body wasn't good enough or his body wasn't good enough. It just didn't work out.

As an aside, the guy I was with prior to my current BF, going into our first intimate encounter, I was afraid he may have bigger boobs than I do (I am under average in that department, lol) since he was a BIG guy. He ended up not having moobs (man boobs), so it was all good. If he had ended up having moobs, I still would've been intimate with him :-).
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As was mentioned, the prevalence of porn has raised expectations for many men. Even much younger women are feeling challenged, because a lot of young guys expect them to look and be like the(usually)young women on the porn sites.
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Originally Posted by caramix3a
Can't stand men like this, granted I am young but I'm already feeling the pressures like you said, and I feel like it is down to the media. I am a natural 34FF and I feel like they're sagging already because of thinner skin caused by stretchmarks and the fact that they are so big, and i'm already worrying about how the situation will be in 20 years! I feel like men in general expect boobs to be perky no matter what size they are if you're young (like in porn), and that is just not how it is in reality. There are women of ALL ages who feel victimised by this type of media.

Men like this feel like they have the entitlement to younger women when they themselves are old and not particularly attractive or in good shape, it makes me sick. All the ******** excuses like 'men are visual' so it validates this shallow behavior. I hate it. A 59 year old woman is of course going to wrinkles, she is not going to have a perfectly smooth stomach if she's had children. What the **** was this stupid **** expecting?
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