Need some older women's views

I am 57 and had breast cancer 3 years ago (have been cancer free for 3 years now).

My question: I had lumpectomy just below the nipple of my left breast. It left a dimple; not too bad but a definite dimple an inch or so long. Nipple is OK. When you look at my breasts, there is a difference. I guess after all was said and done it never really bothered me because I felt I came through this so much more unscathed than a lot of women with breast cancer. My husband and I have been married for 31 years. It doesn't bother him either.

None of my drs have ever said anything except that I healed nicely and it looked good to them. I still go for 6 month checkups (have to for 5 years). I had a different oncologist the other day. She said everything was fine; my lab work was fine. When she was giving me my breast exam, she said "you could go to a plastic surgeon and get the dimple fixed if you wanted. They would just take some fat from somewhere, probably your buttocks, and fill it in." I asked if insurance would pay for it. She said it would be considered reconstructive so it would.

I knew you could have reconstructive surgery for a mastectomy, but never thought about my "dimple."

I ran it past my husband. He said it didn't bother him, but he could see where if anything ever happened to him and I was on my own (dating) that it might be a concern for me. Honestly, I thought about that once and figured if some man didn't like my dimple then he probably wasn't the man for me. My breast isn't "normal," but it surely isn't something that should scare someone away.

My question: Is this something you think you would have done? It would mean surgery. I just can't figure out in my mind if I should be more concerned than I am. Just wondered what other older women thought. . . how would you feel if it was you?
3b/c
My mom is fighting breast cancer,it started 11 yrs ago and re-occured twice.She also had two lumpectomies and wears the scars like a badge of honor. we discussed our scars a few years back( i've had a breast reduction in my twenties) and we both agreed that since they were both done for health reasons ,once we got past the first time getting undressed in front of our spouse, it didnt really matter after.

After my divorce, i gave thought to what another man would think of my scars and i was a bit nervous about it. But when the time came and i was with someone who cared deeply for me and i for him, we both forgot about the scars and we were just glad to have found each other.

Just my two cents J
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Last edited by scorpiofire; 06-05-2008 at 07:24 PM. Reason: forgot a word
I think that men care so much less about these kinds of things when they are older. I doubt that it would matter to anyone. I guess it boils down to how you feel about it.
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I would say that if it's a fairly minor procedure, and you're not fearful about surgery, let alone that insurance may foot the bill, why not?
My question: Is this something you think you would have done? It would mean surgery. I just can't figure out in my mind if I should be more concerned than I am. Just wondered what other older women thought. . . how would you feel if it was you?

Given the circumstances you describe, I don't think I would be concerned enough about it to want to go through surgery to fix it. It doesn't sound disfigured, and as long as it didn't show under clothing, I wouldn't care. I also wouldn't worry about future men...any man who was bothered by it wouldn't be the man for me.
I probably especially if insurance covers it. And I'd ask them to tighten everything up while there in there LOL
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If insurance would pay for it, then I would have it done. I wouldn't care if my husband or SO said they didn't have a problem with it. I'm sorry, but I believe men are more into the visual then women are & if one said it didn't bother him, I wouldn't believe him.
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And I'd ask them to tighten everything up while there in there LOL
Originally Posted by Suburbanbushbabe
I thought about that. . . if I could get more done (a few tucks here and there), I probably wouldn't hesitate!!

Guess I have to figure out how much this bothers me. Apparently, up to now, not all that much. Thanks for everyone's opinions.
3b/c
I would if insurance covered it. Unless I had a fear of surgery, then no, I wouldn't consider it.
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If you are okay with it...leave it alone. It's minor, not 'disfiguring' and there are other things you can spend you co-pay on - like hair products
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Something fairly minor that isn't visible when I'm wearing clothes would not bother me.

I ran it past my husband. He said it didn't bother him, but he could see where if anything ever happened to him and I was on my own (dating) that it might be a concern for me. Honestly, I thought about that once and figured if some man didn't like my dimple then he probably wasn't the man for me. My breast isn't "normal," but it surely isn't something that should scare someone away.
Originally Posted by munchkin
The dimple sounds really minor and not worth a second thought. But if insurance covers it and there aren't real medical complications, it might be worth doing. I say this mainly because of what your husband said to you. If it was truly minor to him *as a man* and not as your loving husband of so many years, he would probably have brushed it off. The fact that he mentioned it possibly bothering other men, means that to the *objectively, visual-oriented man* it is probably worth fixing if health risks are minor.

Tucking or tightening seems like something to ask about if you are going to do it. But could go either way. Really comes down to how you feel about minor, elective surgery, since it's your body and health.
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I ran it past my husband. He said it didn't bother him, but he could see where if anything ever happened to him and I was on my own (dating) that it might be a concern for me. Honestly, I thought about that once and figured if some man didn't like my dimple then he probably wasn't the man for me. My breast isn't "normal," but it surely isn't something that should scare someone away.
Originally Posted by munchkin
The dimple sounds really minor and not worth a second thought. But if insurance covers it and there aren't real medical complications, it might be worth doing. I say this mainly because of what your husband said to you. If it was truly minor to him *as a man* and not as your loving husband of so many years, he would probably have brushed it off. The fact that he mentioned it possibly bothering other men, means that to the *objectively, visual-oriented man* it is probably worth fixing if health risks are minor.

Tucking or tightening seems like something to ask about if you are going to do it. But could go either way. Really comes down to how you feel about minor, elective surgery, since it's your body and health.
Originally Posted by curls on holiday
It really honestly means nothing to my husband. I seriously think he was just saying I had to weigh in my mind if it was something that might bother another man if something happened to him. Personally, if it bothers another man, that would confuse me because to me it is something minor. Therefore, I could do without that "other" man!
3b/c
I wouln't, surgery of any kind scares me. If they don't have to put you out, go for it!
If you're asking, maybe it is important to you. That's who you really need to ask-you. Nobody else matters. Or maybe it's just that this new doctor put a little doubt in your mind. Anyway, doesn't matter, you have to do what you feel is right for you.
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I ran it past my husband. He said it didn't bother him, but he could see where if anything ever happened to him and I was on my own (dating) that it might be a concern for me. Honestly, I thought about that once and figured if some man didn't like my dimple then he probably wasn't the man for me. My breast isn't "normal," but it surely isn't something that should scare someone away.
Originally Posted by munchkin
The dimple sounds really minor and not worth a second thought. But if insurance covers it and there aren't real medical complications, it might be worth doing. I say this mainly because of what your husband said to you. If it was truly minor to him *as a man* and not as your loving husband of so many years, he would probably have brushed it off. The fact that he mentioned it possibly bothering other men, means that to the *objectively, visual-oriented man* it is probably worth fixing if health risks are minor.

Tucking or tightening seems like something to ask about if you are going to do it. But could go either way. Really comes down to how you feel about minor, elective surgery, since it's your body and health.
Originally Posted by curls on holiday
It really honestly means nothing to my husband. I seriously think he was just saying I had to weigh in my mind if it was something that might bother another man if something happened to him. Personally, if it bothers another man, that would confuse me because to me it is something minor. , I could do without that "other" man!
Originally Posted by munchkin
I guess in all honesty it doesn't bother me. I was just wondering if I was odd because it didn't.
3b/c
I guess in all honesty it doesn't bother me. I was just wondering if I was odd because it didn't.
Originally Posted by munchkin
Why would you be odd because you like your body, flaws and all? It is great that it doesn't bother you.
Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage. Anais Nin
Exactly! Actually that's what this site is all about too. We're all individuals with our own perfect imperfections. That's what makes us human. That's what makes us beautiful! I've spent 52 yrs. trying to live up to someone else's opinion of what I should look like. Now, finally, I'm happy with the way I look. Curly hair, a few scars from past surgeries, and 53 yrs. old.
Thanks! I guess a dimple in my boob that might have bothered me at 27 and doesn't at 57 is like a life lesson in what is really important and what isn't!
3b/c

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