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Old 06-09-2008, 08:48 PM   #1
 
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Default Why am I afraid to do this?

I've been wanting to put my house on the market, but I can't seem to get motivated to do so, although I REALLY want to do it, if that makes sense. I've been here a long time, got married here, divorced here, and raised a my daughter here. I'm ready for change now at this stage of my life. I don't want a bigger house, just maybe configured differently. I want someplace to start fresh again now that my old life is behind me. I just feel ready to move on. But when it comes down to it, I've been procrastinating. I think I'm just scared about making such a drastic change. Of course, i know the market is bad right now, but houses on my street have been selling regularly, so I think I might be able to pull it off. How do I get over my fear? Have any of you experienced these mixed emotions about moving?
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Old 06-09-2008, 09:00 PM   #2
 
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I move quite often and actually enjoy moving, but I have mixed emotions each time! I get attached easily so even if I love my new place, there's always something I miss about my old places.

Good luck in your decision. I'm confident you can do it if it's what you really want!
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Old 06-10-2008, 02:02 AM   #3
 
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I find it's easier to go shopping for a new house first. The excitement of finding something fantastic is enough for me to put the old house behind me. It's a buyer's market right now, so if you find something that suits you, you can put in an offer and make it contingent on selling your old house, so that you won't feel so financially vulnerable.
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Old 06-10-2008, 12:30 PM   #4
 
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I agree with RCW that finding a house you love will make the transition easier.
It isn't unusual to have a hard time making this kind of change even when you are ready for it.

I know after my divorce, having my own place was important to me....hard to do, but important.
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Old 06-10-2008, 08:26 PM   #5
 
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I find it's easier to go shopping for a new house first. The excitement of finding something fantastic is enough for me to put the old house behind me. It's a buyer's market right now, so if you find something that suits you, you can put in an offer and make it contingent on selling your old house, so that you won't feel so financially vulnerable.
I had talked to an agent a few months ago and she told me that it's hard to sell a house right now with contingencies because houses aren't selling and people don't want to wait. She said the best thing to do would be to put my house up for sale and see what happens . I was gung ho to do it a few months ago, but then I started hesitating. I've been onlline looking and getting excited, but even so, I can't seem to take the step of actually listing my house. I hate being so wimpy! Maybe I should actually go out looking to open houses to get me really going.

Jeep, do you move because you have to or because you like change?
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Old 06-11-2008, 10:48 PM   #6
 
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I think it's harder to make changes when you get older. We like our comfortable/uncomfortable ruts. I agree with RCW, start looking around and fall in love with other houses. Visualize yourself living in them. Sounds like you need to let go, but you are having a hard time. Changes can be very positive & life changing. You need to view this as a positive move. Put your damn house on the market! You know you can come here & vent during the process. We will be here for you.
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Old 06-12-2008, 09:31 AM   #7
 
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves View Post
I find it's easier to go shopping for a new house first. The excitement of finding something fantastic is enough for me to put the old house behind me. It's a buyer's market right now, so if you find something that suits you, you can put in an offer and make it contingent on selling your old house, so that you won't feel so financially vulnerable.
I had talked to an agent a few months ago and she told me that it's hard to sell a house right now with contingencies because houses aren't selling and people don't want to wait. She said the best thing to do would be to put my house up for sale and see what happens . I was gung ho to do it a few months ago, but then I started hesitating. I've been onlline looking and getting excited, but even so, I can't seem to take the step of actually listing my house. I hate being so wimpy! Maybe I should actually go out looking to open houses to get me really going.

Jeep, do you move because you have to or because you like change?

Even if you don't buy something right away, at least get out there and look at what's available. There are oodles of beautiful houses on the market right now. One is perfect for you.
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Old 06-12-2008, 10:43 AM   #8
 
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RCW: A few months ago, March I believe, I did actually go see a house that I found online. It was just a spontaneous decision to check it out because of course I was not ready to put mine up for sale (my house wasn't physically ready and I wasn't mentally ready either). Someone bought it two days after I saw it. That was when I talked to the agent I mentioned. So I laid off house hunting on the internet because I figured it would be best to get my house ready first for sale and not go through that stress again, not that I was even in the running or anything. So I've done the painting and some repairs and getting rid of old carpet etc, but I'm still ambivalent about it getting it listed.

g-string granny, I think you are right about why I feel this way. I've never been the most adventurous person so change is not easy for me. Also I'm a little frightened because I've gotten comfortable with my very small mortgage and I know I will have to spend a bit more on the next house.

I do appreciate the advice and encouragement!
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Old 06-12-2008, 02:02 PM   #9
 
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Jeep, do you move because you have to or because you like change?
I guess a little bit of both. I've had to move because of divorce/break-ups. But most other times it's just because I was bored, or didn't like my neighbors, or wanted something bigger/smaller, or was sick of being a homeowner, then sick of being a renter.
I've never lived more than 15 miles from where I was born but I've moved 13 times in my adult life (at one point I moved 4 times in 5 years).
And I do love all the planning, purging old stuff, buying new stuff, decorating and landscaping the new place. I live in an area with a very low cost of living and our real estate prices don't climb as they do elsewhere, so I never look at my homes as an investment. They are simply a place I want to live in at that point in my life.
I've owned 4 homes but I have no problem renting. I'll probably sell my current house in the next few years and go back to renting.
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Old 06-12-2008, 07:14 PM   #10
 
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jeepcurlygirl, wow, that's so interesting. It must be very liberating to not feel tied to a place. I would love to have the enthusiasm to move without looking back. I rented a lot when I was younger and didn't like it at all. I was so thrilled to get my first house. The house I'm in now is only my second. I've been here a long time! You know, just discussing this with you all is really motivating me!
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:58 AM   #11
 
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Guess what? I did it! I met with a realtor and am putting my house up for sale! I'm looking over the paperwork now and will be seeing her again in the next couple of days. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. I know this is not a good time to do this, but housing values in my area haven't had the wild fluctuations like other places have. I guess all I can do is try to get it sold. The agent was impressed when she did her walkthrough, so I guess all the hard work I've been doing the last few months in anticipation of this has paid off. Wish me luck!
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Old 07-25-2008, 11:29 AM   #12
 
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Congrats and good luck!!
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Old 07-27-2008, 08:31 PM   #13
 
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Where do you live? My BIL works for a builder and keeps any eye on the market (of course) and so do I, just in a general sense...homes in the median markets are doing well. House across the street had a kitchen fire a few months ago. Totalled the kitchen and smoke damage through the rest of it. New paint, carpet, tile, drywall, tore out a wall to expand the kitchen/family room formal dining room and it turned the kitchen/family room into a kitchen/dining room and the formal dining room into the den with a formal LR on the other side of the stairs. Looks great and has a contract on it...on the market maybe 2 weeks. I'm going to guess that Steve got his asking of $225K...which I think is overpriced...but our area is overpriced and homes are finally coming back down to what they are actually worth (sorta)

So tell us about your dream house.
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Old 07-29-2008, 10:12 AM   #14
 
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susancnw, well, my dream house isn't too exciting since I'm on a strict budget (a lot less than $225K). What I want is a slab house; don't want a basement anymore. I'd like a little more elbow room since I live in a small post-war bungalow now. I don't necessarily need a bigger house, just arranged a little differently. I have to be realistic though, since it's just me (one income) and I will not let myself get overextended. Homes are very modestly priced in my area which is good for me as a buyer but bad as a seller. Not much I can do about that. Of course, the house may not sell at all. I definitely need to get a certain amount out of it in order to make the move to the next one. I never had to sell a house to buy a house before; it sure is a juggling act!
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Old 07-30-2008, 07:48 PM   #15
 
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if *I* can buy, you can make it work for you, too!

*hugs*
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Old 08-12-2008, 10:31 AM   #16
 
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Thanks so much rou! I've been away for a couple of weeks, what's happening with your house purchase?
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Old 08-12-2008, 10:47 AM   #17
 
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Never mind, rou. I saw your post on the general forum. You lucky girl. The house is really nice with lots of updates already done for you. I like everything about it (except I don't want a basement anymore). Congratulations. I know you must be so excited!
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:07 AM   #18
 
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i wish i was excited... to be honest, i've been feeling sick ever since the offer was accepted.

not just a little sick - violently ill and sometimes unable to sleep for several nights in a row.

i'm hoping this will all go away once i move, but right now, it sure doesn't feel good being a home owner.

how are things with your listing?
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Old 08-15-2008, 10:26 AM   #19
 
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Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that. I actually felt that way making the decision to list. I had stomach cramps for the three weeks before I actually did the deed. The hardest thing was telling my wonderful neighbors/friends across the street. Once I did that (and bawled my eyes out), I felt 100 percent better. They say change is good, but it can also be very, very stressful. Hang in there, it will eventually pass and you will be so happy that you have a place that is really yours.

My house has been listed for a little over a week now. No one has called to see it, although one person came through on a broker's open house, and I saw someone in a car stop and take down the info from the sign. I am being totally realistic about it though. I know it's going to take months in this market, and perhaps it won't sell at all. I know I am doing this at the worst possible time, but I figure I don't really have anything to lose. It's not like I'm going to buy another house before mine is sold.

Anyway, definitely keep us posted on how things are progressing and how you are feeling about it. I empathize completely!
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