Who Am I?

It's funny that I started this thread about finding the right style for me & I've turned it into more of a search of my inner self. I guess it's a little like the thread I started about finding your passion.

I think at this age, the kids are grown & our lives are a little less hectic & we have more time to think about ourselves. A good book is "How To Get What You Want & Want What You Have." I should read it again. I loaned it out & never got it back, so I'll have to buy another one.

Rouquinne, please think of us here as your family. I know we don't live near you, but we are here for you. You may not feel that good about yourself, but I have a lot of respect for you. You have accomplished a lot on your own.
AKA lotsawaves
AKA new2curls
Maybe it's the sense of time dwindling down. I feel that way sometimes. Also the feeling that things didn't work out the way I expected them to. I only had one child, I wanted two. I wanted to stay married forever, my husband cheated on me and we got divorced. I wanted a better house, but I'm still here after all those years and now trying to sell it in the worst market ever. I've been seeing someone off and on for six years and it seems to go nowhere. There are so many disappointments in life. I guess we'd all go mad if we focused on them too much. I try to think about what I do have and be thankful. That's what keeps me going.
I have 3A hair. I've discovered Jessicurl shampoo and Too Shea conditioner and I'm thrilled! Long-time LA Looks sport gel user.
You have accomplished a lot on your own.
Originally Posted by g-stringranny
to quote Shakespeare - there's the rub.

i've actually accomplished nothing in my life. my existence is totally worthless and pointless. i have never done anything that mattered or made a difference in anyone's life. no one wants to be with me - even spend time with me.

one of the things that was distressing me so much the other night was thinking of the two boys that i loved so much back when i was at university - Frank and David. they are both dead now; Frank died in the summer between 3rd and 4th year of cancer - a swift-moving version of the disease - and he was only 23. David died almost a decade ago - also of cancer. but he had a wife and children and parents and brothers and a law practice he had started with his friends.

one of them never got a start in life and the other had everything in the world to live for and he died at 40. and i'm still here - doing nothing with no one who loves me and nothing to live for.

i know life isn't fair - there are just some things that make less sense than others...
My blog:

http://labellatestarossa.blogspot.ca/

Little Mother of all the Roaches, President-for-Life of the MAC Harlots!
the worst part about being older, i find, is losing the damn weight! but i love my chocolate and cookies and cakes...! and ice cream....urrrrgggghhhhh!
sigh...
The best part of getting older is knowing how to deal with the frustrations of life. I've lived long enough to realize there is always a way out of any situation even if it seems dire. I've learned to survive. A friend of mine's commited suicide earlier this year and she was only a month older than me (42). I find myself going along and suddenly saying to myself "Oh, she'll never see, hear, feel, taste that again", and I am spurned on to live! I am spurned on to live my dreams, even if sometimes they seem impossible. Why? Because when you're ashes in a box, you've no chance in hell of starting over.

I'm sorry you ladies feel bad about getting old, but it happens to everybody, if they are lucky. The idea is to live. If you hate getting old, ask yourself this, would you be happier dead? My spirit is richer than it has ever been and I wouldn't trade who I've become for the firmest ass or the highest teats.
when all else fails...eat
[COLOR="Purple"]

Last edited by BugEyeZ; 09-06-2008 at 07:01 PM.
It isn't that we don't like getting older. It's that we feel there is more to life then we have experienced. It's realizing that there is more to life that we should be doing & we're not sure what it is. I'm sorry about your friend. I would never choose death over life. I just want to live my life to the fullest & I feel I don't know how.
AKA lotsawaves
AKA new2curls
You have accomplished a lot on your own.
Originally Posted by g-stringranny
to quote Shakespeare - there's the rub.

i've actually accomplished nothing in my life. my existence is totally worthless and pointless. i have never done anything that mattered or made a difference in anyone's life. no one wants to be with me - even spend time with me.

one of the things that was distressing me so much the other night was thinking of the two boys that i loved so much back when i was at university - Frank and David. they are both dead now; Frank died in the summer between 3rd and 4th year of cancer - a swift-moving version of the disease - and he was only 23. David died almost a decade ago - also of cancer. but he had a wife and children and parents and brothers and a law practice he had started with his friends.

one of them never got a start in life and the other had everything in the world to live for and he died at 40. and i'm still here - doing nothing with no one who loves me and nothing to live for.

i know life isn't fair - there are just some things that make less sense than others...
Originally Posted by rouquinne
You're just not seeing your accomplishments. There are people who know me that think I have accomplished a lot, too, & I'm like, really. I don't see it also. Please don't feel that no one loves you & you have nothing to live for. We are all here for a purpose. We just have to find out what that is. I've lost friends, too. My best friend in high school died at 18. Two of my bf's committed suicide in their 40's. Fortunately, not while I was involved with them. If you feel there is nothing to live for, then you need to find something. You have such a wonderful, giving nature. I'm sure there are people who would benefit from that.
AKA lotsawaves
AKA new2curls

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