moms
 

Im not 40 or over,not at all.Actually,I belong to the teens section,as Im 14.But maybe you could enlighten me.You see,I just cant understand my mom and we battle a lot :roll: .Advice would be very appreciated,and I went here beacuse most poeple posting here are moms,I imagine.So ant moms with teen daughters,this is your time to help! :!: :D :) :o :lol: 8) :? :shock: :wink: :idea: :arrow:

Help needed
 

Any advice on this is greatly appreciated,mom is just very..frustrating!And I have a knowledge beyond my years.I also look older(Poeple say 16-18)...but i still cant get along with her!And please dont repat my relashionship w/ her will better with the years... :lol:

Well, your relationship with your mother most likely WILL improve as you get older! :D

What do you guys battle over?

Re: Help needed
 

MANAGE YOUR PARENTS!! here's how. get good grades in school. when you say you will do something, do it. come home on time. don't hurt yourself or do anything illegal or stupid and get busted. be responsible. then they do not have a leg to stand on when you want to go out, stay out late one night or do something with your friends. if you cannot manage it ask to go to therapy. your therapist will try to help you and mom get along in case mom's own issues are standing in the way. I had to really read one mom the riot act who was wanting her teen daughter to stay home and keep her company. Mom, get a life!!! healthy moms are concerned about their kids and want them to be happy and safe. they want to help their kids see the big picture and not just get stoned every night, hang with their boyfriends or play video games because it is fun NOW and end up not going to college and washing dishes for a living. we mature folks try to think ahead and see the big picture. are you able to do that for yourself??
banjo

Thanks!
 

Yeah I guess your right,banjo.And we battle about everything I guess.She just keeps on repeating the same things over and over and gets annoyed at the smallest things like me being late or not sowering blah blah blah,we have very different opinions,and they clash...

We repeat the same things, like "call me," "answer your cell phone," "don't be late" because we worry. We know the world is not a safe place and we worry. What's so hard about CALLING? It saves a lot of wear and tear on the brain.

Doing well in school is also a big one. We just want our children (not just our daughters) to have a better chance at life than, perhaps, we did.

Re: Help needed
 

I'm not 40. I'm 19, almosgt 20 And I am going to tell you stuff you won't want to hear. Your relationship will get better. It will get better once you realize how right your mom is with a lot of stuff. This will not happen until you are about to leave for college. Your mom is right. She is doing what she thinks is best for you. She was a teenager once. She has the experience. You are just gaining it right now. I know this because my mom and I went through the same stage. We had the worst fights. We would hit and sometimes throw things at each other. We actually had to go to counseling. I never thought we'd get along. I'd always thought we fought because we were so different. It's not. We are just about the same. And that's how it probably is between you and your mom. Once you have to start making real life decisions like getting a job and paying for college, you'll see the wisdom of your moms ways. Everyday I realize how right my mom is. You are just going through puberty. Your fights are normal. You want to gain independence, your mom is a bit scared. It's natural that there is tension. But it will get better. It's the truth. It may be awhile, but you'll see that I am right in the end.

I worked with a woman from Korea, and she told me she couldn't get along with her daughter, they always argued. She said she thought it must be because her daughter grew up in the US and there was a culture clash.

I asked how old the daugher was. She said, "Fourteen." I said, "Don't worry, this is normal. In two years you will be able to talk with her again."

I fight with my teenage SON!!!

dolphinluver, that's great advice and very well said!

I have a teenager and we get along quite well. We never went through any serious problems, but of course we have our moments. What everyone said is correct, we want a better life for our daughters than we had, and we hope that the mistakes we made when we were young give us some wisdom that we can pass on to our kids. Look at it this way, it's like a Mom teaching her child how to cook. Mom is passing on something useful to her child that she knows will benefit her. When we pass on advice (which sometimes might seem like nagging or something you don't think you need to know), it's because we know that it may help you somewhere in your life. Moms have gained a lot of wisdom through life experiences, the kind that you haven't had yet.

Another thing to remember is your Mom is not just a mother, but she is a person with feelings, problems and dreams, just like you. Maybe she has a lot of responsibilities that might be overwhelming to her or a dream that she was never able to accomplish. You have to look at the big picture and try to understand your mother as a person, not just a parent.

I have a son (14) but I was a teenage daughter once upon a time and remember well. I battled with my mom constantly. It does get better. Maybe one thing you can try to remember during those tough times is that whatever you're going through (school issues, social issues), she's been through it also. This helped me sometimes to remember she's not perfect, is human, didn't/doesn't always have all the answers and through all the noise (nagging) is really just saying she loves me, worries about me, and just wants the best for me (better than what she had). HTH :)

Every kid comes to the place where they think they know more than their parents; it's normal. You're growing up and you want more independence, but you need to remember that your mom loves you and is looking out for you. She's been around for awhile. I was a teenage girl, too, and believe it or not, I eventually came to the realization that my mom knew something.

I don't have a daughter-I have three teenage sons :)
Looking back,I didn't really fightwith my mom as a teenager,but I didn't relate well to her at all.
I was 8 when my mom turned 40,and all my friends moms were so much younger than her-it was tough.


(Oh.yeah-I am dealing with a mouthy 13 year old right now,and a sullen 16 year old....)

I raised 2 daughters a year apart. We certainly had our moments. I worried about them constantly. They were/are so precious to me. I didn't want them to make mistakes that could ruin their lives. I didn't want them to make mistakes that I made. I remember once my husband and I were sitting outside and a convertible drove by our street, speeding, and both my daughters were riding in it. They were 14 and 15 at the time. They couldn't understand why we were so upset. They were enjoying themselves but all I could think of was them getting in a wreck. Plus I didn't know the particular boy driving the car and he was older. We Moms nag and repeat ourselves because we love our children. If we didn't we would let them go when and where they wanted and they'd have no curfew. That would be a lot easier on us Moms. :wink: Your Mom may worry more about you because you do look older.