Over 40 & Dating......

Are there over 40 single women here?

I've been single for 15 years which means I divorced when I was 40. I'm surprised at men in their 40's and even 50's who still have children living at home. Mostly teenagers. I have a rule against dating men with children. Mine are grown and out of the house and I don't want the baggage. I've even met men who have children who are grown and have moved out, but are still getting hand outs.

It's also hard to find men my age that I find attractive. Where do you meet men over 40? Have you ever looked at the group on match.com 51-57. It's scary. I know, I know I should be looking at more than looks, but even at my age I want to feel that spark.

A lot of them expect sex after just a couple of dates. Then there are those who don't want to commit. I'm back with my ex bf now. He's 47, handsome, no children, and very active. Problem....he doesn't want to ever remarry. That use to bother me, but not as much now.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."
I'm single but I've been with the same guy for 11 years so I haven't dated in a loooong time. So I can't help you much there. Online dating scares the heck out of me.

I never had (or wanted) kids, but I have a grown stepdaughter from my 2nd husband and my current boyfriend has a 16 year old daughter. If I were ever in the position of looking for a new man I would not agree to go out with someone with kids. Never again. I get along great with both my stepkids but it's just not something I would do again. A stepmother is a second class citizen in most cases. And always comes in last.

I've gone out with every kind of guy, all ages, all sizes and colors and personalities, all economic groups. As far as looks go, I've never been overly picky but I do like a certain type of guy. Never cared if they were handsome, I just always preferred them on the short, thin side, and I prefer that they are somewhere near my own age, and that they have a job . My boyfriend is the total opposite of anyone I ever gave a second look and we 'sparked' instantly. So don't rule anyone out even if they are too tall, too short, too whatever.

The one thing that bugs me about alot of 40-50 year old men is they seem to think that 40-50 year old women are invisible. My second husband just married a woman around the same age as his daughter. A very nice girl, but yuk. And that seems to be a trend.
In Western PA
Found NC in 2004. CG since 2-05, going grey since 9-05. 3B with some 3A.
Hair texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
Suave & VO5 cond, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
http://public.fotki.com/jeepcurlygurl/ password jeepy **updated Aug 2014**
https://www.facebook.com/lifetheuniverseandtodd
*raises hand* I'm over 40 and single. I've done the online dating thing, and never had a really bad experience. I figure it's kind of like a blind date - you don't know if you're going to click with someone until you meet in person and get to know them.

jeepcurlygirl, I think you may be on to something about men over 40 ignoring women in their own age group. Most of the men I've dated over the last few years have been in their mid-to-late 30s. I consider that a good thing though.
Type 2b. Wash: WEN pomegranate or fig. Leave-in conditioner: Alaffia beautiful curls for wavy hair, Spiral Solutions Protein spray. Style: Curls In A Bottle, Ecostyler, or KCCC.
Yep, that's me. I've dated five men since my divorce and had long-term relationships (2+ years) with two of them. I was introduced to all but one of them through friends/relatives, which seems to be the best way to meet guys, at least for me. I actually was surprised at the availabilty of men--when I was going through the divorce I figured I'd never meet a man again. I guess I thought all the good ones were in marriages. There are definitely a lot of divorced men out there. Three of the five men I dated were younger than me, the youngest being 6 years younger. The men were from all walks of life, from blue collar to professional to downright rich. It's been an interesting experience. I've kind of settled down with one after breaking off with him a year ago and dating someone else for a while. We then got back together about six months ago.

Lotsawaves, if you and your man are happy and have a good relationship, just take it for what it is. Maybe somewhere down the line he may decide he wants to remarry, you never know!
I have 3A hair. I've discovered Jessicurl shampoo and Too Shea conditioner and I'm thrilled! Long-time LA Looks sport gel user.
Well, I'm not single, but I did date and get remarried when I was 41. I met my husband online and we celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary in November. He's 44 and four years younger than me.

A little history. Married my childhood sweetheart at 18 and thought we'd be married forever, of course. Eleven years and two wonderful sons later, he decided he didn't want to married anymore. (He decided that with wife #2 after 8 years as well). I married a man I went to church with who'd been widowed (we were friends before she passed) with 3 kids. Church is very important to me and I thought a marriage with this man was Heaven sent. Big disaster and after almost 8 years, I made the agonizing decision to end it. I had met my wonderful DH online but were friends only. His wife had left him and having been thru it once, I was a sounding board for him. We lost contact for a few months until a mutual friend (also online) told me he didn't talk to either of us for fear of bothering us. We agreed to email him (I was in the process of the divorce by this time) to give him what for . When he found out I was getting divorced, he began getting online every night! Several months after the divorce was final, he flew here for a visit and within 6 months, began the process of moving here (my sons were still in school).

We married the week he moved here (it was just a year after my divorce), and have never been happier. He's been great with my boys and they adore him. He began going to church with me a couple months after our marriage and I think he knows more people there than me!

After the heartache of being left, and making the painful decision to be the one to leave, God has blessed me with a wonderful man and a very happy marriage.

So don't give up!
CG-modified since 4/05
2b/3a and 3b on occasion!
Products: The hair aisle in my own cabinets.
Best definition winner: KCCC
Best volume winner: LOOB
I am single and I am getting married for the first time. The thing is, I have always looked much younger than I am. Also, I act much younger. Somewhere along the line I made a conscious decision that I didn't need or want to be ambitious. (Okay, living in socialist countries does that to you.) And I did a complete 180 turn. And for me it was the best decision ever. So, I work to live not live to work.

My close friends were always younger than my "married" friends that I grew up with. And older guys just don't do it for me. I have had some buddies that were divorced and with kids and we were always just friends.

Now, my fiance is 29 (will be 30 soon). And people do not think I am drastically older than he is. I do wonder how long I will stay looking young but my mom and grandmother look pretty good for their age. Also, my great grandmother lived to be 115! So, as sad as it is, I will probably outlive my finace.
i got married at 42 for the first time and am still married after 14 yrs. it was a miracle-i did not expect it. my friend is dating now on cupid.com and she will be 50 next month-she's having a great time. no expectation, flirting and having fun. one does not have to have sex just because someone else wants to. it is a good opportunity to develop assertiveness and boundaries. just enjoy it and don't have too many expectations.
Susan suburban NY
3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
CG since 11/11/04
http://public.fotki.com/banjolady/
PW: banjo
HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos http://www.youtube.com/user/lazycurls
. I have a rule against dating men with children. Mine are grown and out of the house and I don't want the baggage. ...It's also hard to find men my age that I find attractive.
Originally Posted by Lotsawaves
As a mother of one, I think you'll be waiting a long time if you're waiting for a single childless man. Speaking as a parent, I'm a better person for having been a parent, and any guy who's gone 40 years without any serious attachment probably has attachment issues.

I met a 38 year old man several months ago and we're getting along really well, feeling love for each other, and if I had your requirement, I would have written him off but I think his daughter makes him a better more interesting person.
3c
Poo: KBB shampoo bar or Shikai moisturizing shampoo
CoWash: VO5 kiwi
Cond: Robert Craig, Tresemme Natural, or Fekkai Shea Butter
Leave in/Styling: Grapeseed oil, KBB milk, KCCC, and Aveda Confixor
I know lots of grown men and women who don't have children. It must the my "childless by choice" radar.
I agree that a 40-something person who has never been in a serious relationship would be a little suspect to me, but I don't find being childess so odd. I certainly don't think not having kids makes me a lesser or less interesting person that one who has had kids.
After raising 2 kids that weren't my own, I just don't want to do it again.
In Western PA
Found NC in 2004. CG since 2-05, going grey since 9-05. 3B with some 3A.
Hair texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
Suave & VO5 cond, LA Looks Sport Gel, oils, honey, vinegar.
http://public.fotki.com/jeepcurlygurl/ password jeepy **updated Aug 2014**
https://www.facebook.com/lifetheuniverseandtodd
The man I'm dating was married. They didn't have children. He is wonderful with my grown children and my grandchildren and his nieces and nephews. He regrets not having children when he was younger, but has no desire to have them at his age now. My best friend turned 50 in Oct and she married a man with 3 children. The youngest is 14. She is pulling her hair out. She has children also, but they are out of the house. I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with a man who has grown, independant children. I just have no desire to raise teenagers again.
From Michael Berg:

Every person has a unique connection to the Creator that can never be extinguished, and every person has a great soul that can manifest important things in our world. To make a person feel less than they are because of something inside themselves, be it faith, race, or sexual orientation, is the greatest sin of all."

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com