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Old 03-06-2009, 03:05 PM   #1
 
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Question Empty Nest Syndrome

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Last edited by lazy loops; 09-19-2010 at 02:36 PM.
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Old 03-06-2009, 03:25 PM   #2
 
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((hugs))
I'm sorry. I don't even want to think about being an empty nester. It must take a lot of adjusting because there are a lot of books written about that stage in a woman's life.
I was talking to a woman this weekend that can't wait for her daughter to graduate high school and go to NJ for school. I don't understand. She said she told her daughter the moment the kid is out, mom is taking over the room. She doesn't even want her on holidays or breaks.
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Old 03-06-2009, 03:47 PM   #3
 
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Crickett - I think there is a happy medium.

Lazy Loops, I'm sorry you have so much fear, but I hope you can come to realize that most fear is not based on fact. As you look back, were you ready to leave the nest when you did? Didn't you make it anyway?

When my girls left to go to college, I looked ahead to what I was gaining instead of what I was losing. It's like a saying I heard on retirement. (paraphrased) Successful, happy retirement is enjoyed by people who retire to something not from something. Expand your interests, but plan on leaving the house to do it. Instead of having limited time away from home because you were there doing laundry, cooking dinner for your family, etc., you can envite friends and acquaintances into your home or go to theirs for things like book clubs, crafting, scrapping. Take a class, rediscover who you are without a family around every minute of every day.

Unfortunately, all of this comes at the same time. Peri-menopause, empty nest, over 40...but I am with Christiane Northrup, this is our chance to fly!

Hugs to you. Your son loves you now, why wouldn't he love you when he has a choice? Trust him and trust yourself. I'm sure you did a great job of raising him. Give him some credit.
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Old 03-06-2009, 04:27 PM   #4
 
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Oh Sweetie, first of all (((HUGS))). I can totally empathize with you. When our daughter went to college, she still lived here. So, when she married and flew the coop, it was extremely hard on me. For a while I didn't even like to go up in her room because it just looked so sad and lonely.

I won't lie, there is a big adjustment period, but it does go away. I miss her being here all the time, but I don't feel sad or lonely any longer. And, it IS nice to have that extra room. I totally agree with mpgirl, you have to find out who you are again.

We, as moms, tend to lose ourselves over the years of raising children. All of our energy goes into their care and concerns and we forget about our hopes and dreams and hobbies. And that's all as it should be for that time. Then, our chickies leave and we have to remember who we are as individuals again. It can be very fun and exciting. Give yourself some time and, trust me, you will bounce back. This can be an extremely satisfying time in your life. Best of luck to you, and don't worry, your boy will make his way. They never forget their mamas. And, they will always need us!
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Old 03-06-2009, 04:33 PM   #5
 
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Old 03-06-2009, 10:01 PM   #6
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Whoa...what's going on?
Why are y'all moving so far?
PM me or email me if ya need to (((hugs)))
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Old 03-09-2009, 08:43 PM   #7
 
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WileE I sent you a PM, did you get it?

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Old 03-09-2009, 09:46 PM   #8
 
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hugs, lazyloops...

perhaps sink or swim will be good for him. if he does sink, he can always move to where you are, can't he? can't you send him a plane ticket or bus ticket? you can let him know that he always has a home with you if he doesn't make it.

sometimes, we just have to sink or swim to see if we can make it...scary, yes...but sometimes necessary.
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Old 03-10-2009, 08:32 AM   #9
 
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Old 03-10-2009, 09:22 AM   #10
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Why are y'all moving?
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Old 03-10-2009, 03:38 PM   #11
 
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