First post: need advice for 3yo's hair

Hi there,

I have a daughter with curly hair (3b, I think - but I'm just now learning all this) - and I have straight hair, so I'm feeling a little lost. I just got the book "Curly Girl" but it doesn't really address these issues I'm having. And I did some searches on this forum and either got no relevant results - or an overwhelming number that really didn't answer my questions.

Anyway, here are some pictures so you get an idea what I'm working with:





I've recently started using only conditioner (only rarely shampoo - I use Alba Organics, no sulfates) for Maya and I've always left in a little bit of conditioner in order to tame/control her curls. Even before Curly Girl, I was only detangling her hair while wet with conditioner or detangler. I'm lucky in that she has no problem with me washing/conditioning her hair, and doesn't mind having her hair combed out. So no battles there. Her hair is super-fine, and it doesn't seem very thick (although I might be mistaken). It's definitely too short for braids (for my skill level anyway) but I do put her hair in pigtails occasionally. Her curls are beautiful right after her hair dries (most like the first and second pictures) but within a few hours, the back and sides start to look frizzy.

So my first issue is: even with the leave-in conditioner, her curls lose their shape and turn into a big halo of frizz (as you can see in the pictures, it can be mild or quite crazy). But she's 3, so most of this is due to her rolling around, playing, and riding in the car (her head against the car seat). Other than carrying around a spray bottle all the time, are there any tricks to keeping a toddler's hair looking a little less frizzy?

Second, my daughter loves to wear hats, and now that winter is here, her fleece and wool hats are wreaking havoc on her hair. No matter what I do, her hair looks like the last picture as soon as she takes her hat off. And when we're out and about, the hat goes on, off, on, off ... you get the idea. Wearing hats isn't optional when we're outside in the winter, and I really don't want to mess around with putting a scarf under her hat for a 3yo. Any advice on dealing with the whole hat thing?

I will say that I don't mind her having slightly messy hair when we go out - she's only 3, and she gets tons of compliments anyway. But the level of frizziness is getting out of control - her hair looks matted and sticks out in all directions. And every once in a while, I'd like to get her hair into the pretty soft ringlets and KEEP it that way.

Last: I have only recently realized that I can't let just anyone trim her hair for the first time. Her hair is still pretty short but I think she might benefit from a little trim - and I've heard that it helps the hair grow longer - ??? Any words of advice on finding someone to cut a toddler's very curly hair? I'm not confident enough to do it myself, although if I could see someone do it correctly, I might be able to learn.

Sorry to bombard you all with so many questions in my very first post but I figured that this would be the ideal place to look for answers
Well, first of all, she's beautiful and so is her hair even when it's frizzy!

Here's what I'd do, be forewarned though if you want it to look like yuur first picture more it WILL take a little more work and you've already said you didn't want the hassle of one of the best ways to combat the winter hat head.

1. More moisture! Everyday! Use a dedicated leave in on her hair after every bath, seal her hair in the winter. If it's not wash day, then throw some condish in a spray bottle with water and spritz and scrunch it well before you leave the house so it has time to dry.

2. Satin pillowcase at night! Cotton sucks out moisture.

3. Tie a silk or satin scarf around the head of her car seat, or go buy a $5 satin pillow case from Target and throw it over the back of the car seat. Huge difference for my kids!

4. take a piece of satin and line her hat. It really only takes a couple of minutes. it's doesn't have to be an awesome job, it's inside the hat and nobody is going to see it.

If you're not opposed to some of the children's styling products those may help, but really only if you take preventative measure like those above first. If you don't you'll have the same fizzy, (if she's like my girls) static-y hair long before the end of the day.
Anyone who lives within their means, suffers from a lack of imagination. ~Oscar Wilde

There are only two ways to do things: right or over.
I've read about the satin pillowcase but I never even thought about using one for the car seat: what a great idea! Thanks!

And I will enlist my MIL's help with sewing satin inside her hats - I'm completely useless for those kind of things

I do "fix" (wet/condition/detangle) her hair every day since if I skip a day, it really does get matted up. But I just want to avoid getting her hair wet *while* we're away from the house, as it gets really cold here and I don't want her head to freeze But between the satin-lined carseat and satin-lined hats, I think that will help a lot!

I'm going to try some of the curly hair products for her but need to find some that I've seen mentioned ... right now, I wet down her hair and rub a little conditioner between my hands before putting it in her hair. I'm always so amazed that I can do this 2-3 days in a row and her hair is never greasy/heavy - I could never get away with that with my own hair!

Thanks so much for your help!
Well, first of all, she's beautiful and so is her hair even when it's frizzy!

Here's what I'd do, be forewarned though if you want it to look like yuur first picture more it WILL take a little more work and you've already said you didn't want the hassle of one of the best ways to combat the winter hat head.

1. More moisture! Everyday! Use a dedicated leave in on her hair after every bath, seal her hair in the winter. If it's not wash day, then throw some condish in a spray bottle with water and spritz and scrunch it well before you leave the house so it has time to dry.

2. Satin pillowcase at night! Cotton sucks out moisture.

3. Tie a silk or satin scarf around the head of her car seat, or go buy a $5 satin pillow case from Target and throw it over the back of the car seat. Huge difference for my kids!

4. take a piece of satin and line her hat. It really only takes a couple of minutes. it's doesn't have to be an awesome job, it's inside the hat and nobody is going to see it.

If you're not opposed to some of the children's styling products those may help, but really only if you take preventative measure like those above first. If you don't you'll have the same fizzy, (if she's like my girls) static-y hair long before the end of the day.
Originally Posted by InissantAngel
+1, additionally OP for my 3b sons I add a little EVCO (extra virgin coconut oil) to their hair after I put the leave in conditioner in. This results in beautiful shiny curls that don't get frizzy. My 3 yr old son's hair is a little shorter than your daughter's but this could possibly help her as well. Good luck.

On my EVO
you don't say where you live, but if you are in nyc area i can recommend a great stylist for her. carlos flores at mario diab salon in soho. a few years back he worked at devachan for many years, then left and is still a great curly hair stylist. his children's haircuts are $25. :-) my daughter plans on taking her daughters there as soon as their hair grows enough for a cut!!

otherwise, maybe check the salon reviews on this site, if you find one near you that sounds good, call and ask if that stylist cuts children's hair and what the price is.
[FONT="Arial Narrow"]
3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab, lalsg. cj aloe fix gel is my high dews/summer HG!!
sealants - spiral solutions emollience butter, jane carter nourish & shine
Glad I could help. Those little things will make the biggest differences for younger kids.

As far as the hair cut issue, honestly I'd just soak her hair and dust the ends myself.

Here's what I do for my girls have have done since the oldest was a baby (she's 5 now and my youngest daughter is only 19 months).

Soak it, comb it out with a fine tooth comb, and just cut the little bit off the ends that is all fine and wispy...aka the baby hair.

You don't have to make it an inch all around or anything. Take a little and I mean little section at a time and just trim what looks like it needs trimming, typically that's barey anything. That may be more hair or less depending on where on her head you're cutting. Do this all over her head.

I promise you won't screw it up, at that age she has nothing but layers and different lengths in her hair as it is, so you really can't make a mistake.

That first dusting will make a huge difference in her hair and how frizzy it gets from here on out, and every time you trim you'll notice the difference until you get all the baby hair off. That causes a fair amount of frizz for little kids. The rest of the frizz is just part of the beauty (re:bane of my existence) of curly haired little ones.


Oh and don't forget to save some of her baby hair!
Anyone who lives within their means, suffers from a lack of imagination. ~Oscar Wilde

There are only two ways to do things: right or over.
I just wanted to say hello and welcome, MomtoMaya!

Your daughter is GORGEOUS!
Gretchen
NaturallyCurly.com co-founder
3A

You are beautiful!

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