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stacy1101 01-24-2012 08:23 AM

HELP with my 3 year old
 
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Hi, I desperatley need help with my 3 year old. I am biracial (black/white), hubby is black. I need some serious help with my 3 year old. Im not the most skilled at AA hair. My hair is relaxed and before relaxing, I had wavy curls. My daughters hair is the complete opposite!
I attached a picture of her hair at its worst. I am about to wash it right now but wanted some advice before I do. This is usually what her hair looks like maybe three days after washing. Combing it out is impossible even if I douse it in detangler. Ive tried numerous different products.
I stopped using baby shampoo years ago because it was clearly drying out her hair. I moved to kids shampoo (suave and loreal) no luck. I tried AA shampoo, no louck. I am now using my salon brand shampoo (matrix) on her. It def works alot better and leaves her hair softer, but IMO its still horrible.

I went to the store yesterday and bought some new products to try. I bought a pantene detangler, fructis 3 minute rescue deep conditioner, cantu shea butter moisturizer, cantu leave in repair cream, pantene straigt and smooth cream, and a palmers deep con protein pack. I pretty much just grabbed one of everything on the shelf lol.

As for hair styles, I'll usually either put her hair in one ponytail and plat it, or I'll do her hair in maybe two or three and plat it.

So...help!! What can I do better??

SmilingElephant 01-24-2012 08:43 AM

Hi!:)

I'm not a mom but maybe I can help.

Have you tried detangling her hair in sections? With our hair type it's best to do everything in sections.

Also...I personally would stay away from products in the "ethnic" aisle. Most of them have ingredients that do not moisturize or nourish our hair.

Try co-washing her hair with something like Suave Naturals or V05 Moisture Milks.

After thoroughly detangling it's best to not manipulate her hair too much. So if you can keep it braided or twisted up that can help with retaining growth.

ETA: Hopped on my laptop to further help you...:laughing:(Ipod typing is annoying!!)

But yeah do everything in sections....umm if it helps i can tell you my regimen and you can see if you can incorporate that into hers...?

I have both curly AND kinky hair on my head so...what i do is....i comb my hair every 3 days in the shower drenched with water and conditioner with a shower comb....a widetooth comb. I never use fine toothed combs and i NEVER comb my hair dry.

On the weekends is when i shampoo my hair in halves to thoroughly cleanse my scalp. Then i rinse thoroughly, add my detangling conditioner(a thick creamy conditioner)....and when its slippery enough i section it into 4 sections.....then i detangle with my shower comb....starting from TIP to ROOT to prevent unecessary damage. Do that for all 4 sections. You can rinse it out as you go or rinse all together in sections...some ppl do all of this in twists or braids....i use hair clips.

After i detangle is when i put the deep conditioner in and bc i'm so impatient....it rarely stays on for more than 30 minutes.

Midweek is when i co-wash (conditioner washing) and finger comb.

I usually wear wash n go's but sometimes i'll put my hair in twists and they last me a week. On the days i'm not washing...i spritz with water and add a moisturizer.

Some people like Shea Moisture's Curl Enhancing Smoothie you can get a Target, some people use Shea butter, some people use leave ins...which is what i do. I like Oyin Handmade's Hair Dew...smells like cookies and is very yummy to the hair! She would LOVE it! After that i use an oil to seal in my moisture....i like to use Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, Sweet Almond Oil or Castor oil....i either pick one of these or i blend some of them together and use that.

I hope this helps. Basically when dealing with black hair...we need water and a moisturizer and an oil...and do everything in sections....it makes it a LOT easier!:)

I hope i've helped somehow.

CURLs has a fun kids line if you would like to try something she would absolutely fall in love with....all their stuff smells like cake!

Hopefully someone else will chime in.

stacy1101 01-24-2012 09:01 AM

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I actually never buy anything in the ethnic section but I was desperate yesterday lol.
This is what her hair looks like right now after I just washed it.

SmilingElephant 01-24-2012 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stacy1101 (Post 1867847)
I actually never buy anything in the ethnic section but I was desperate yesterday lol.
This is what her hair looks like right now after I just washed it.

Her hair is beautiful!:love7:

Let me see if i can find this youtube channel for you....there's this blog called Beads, Braids and Beyond....i read parenting blogs sometimes just in case i have a daughter someday...but they have good tips on cute styles for little girls...hold on i'll be back!


ETA: Here's some links i found

http://www.youtube.com/user/beadsbra...27/GLhOY9nVIdw

http://beadsbraidsbeyond.blogspot.com/

http://www.happygirlhair.com/

stacy1101 01-24-2012 09:56 AM

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Thanks for the links!
So I tried my attempt at TC and well.....
All I have to say is now I have a three year old running around with conditioning soaked hair that looks exactly like it did before plus conditioner.
I'm obviously lacking in the kid hairstyle department :(

Can I now just style her hair with the conditioner in it or should I wash it out? Tightly curly obviously isnt working for us. (or should I say me?)

SmilingElephant 01-24-2012 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stacy1101 (Post 1867893)
Thanks for the links!
So I tried my attempt at TC and well.....
All I have to say is now I have a three year old running around with conditioning soaked hair that looks exactly like it did before plus conditioner.
I'm obviously lacking in the kid hairstyle department :(

Can I now just style her hair with the conditioner in it or should I wash it out? Tightly curly obviously isnt working for us. (or should I say me?)

Awww.....you will get it eventually. I'm still getting to know my natural texture after being relaxed since the age of 6. My mom just didnt want to deal with my hair...but i think its important for all children to know what they really look like bc before i found the hairboards...i had NO idea i had curly hair!! I didn't know black ppl could have curly hair....so keep up the good work with trying!:icescream: It's important to kill the ignorance about Black hair.

Depending on what kind of conditioner you are using...if it has protein in it i would rinse it out just to avoid protein overload.....do you have any type of moisturizer on hand?

Have you seen any videos yet on how to twist? It should be easy on her hair as you wouldn't need anything on the ends to hold them in place bc her ends should just curl up at the end of the twists.

famus_darling 01-30-2012 10:46 AM

First off, your baby girl has beautiful, thick hair. I agree with the other poster, try to stay away from products with petroleum and/ or alcohol. Take a look at beads, braids, and beyond. She has great styling advice. I also agree that twisting her hair and leaving it for a week may be a good way to go, especially in the winter. You can leave it down, put it in a ponytail, two pigtails or a bun, all while it's in the twists.

Beyond detangling and washing in sections, I would also suggest detangling prior to washing. This makes detangling, washing, ect easier, plus you remove most the dirt while detangling.

As for shampoo, you might try deva curl no poo. I find it less stripping than the average shampoo. Also, try going 1-2 weeks between washing to keep moisture in her hair. I really like the Shea moisture line for conditioners, ect.

Jydal 02-01-2012 03:18 PM

Her hair looks so beautiful!! try locating a natural hair salon in your area. they may be able to show you hands-on techniques. also, YouTube may have some things that you can watch to help out. hope this helps!

debonyx 02-01-2012 11:01 PM

Do not fret! You just need some instructions
 
You should get this book called curly girl. I have it on my iPad and it has video showing you how to deal with curly hair. You can also just get it in paper on amazon. Just make sure you get the newest version. It is from the lady who invented the "deva curl" method. There is a whole section for kids and "ethnic" hair. You do not have to spend a bunch of money on products. I use cvs brand sulfate free shampoo,suave naturals conditioner, and fruitis gel. All pretty cheap stuff. The thing to remember is that many of us curly girls grew up hating our hair. Let your sweet one know how beautiful she is and how cool it is to be naturally curly.


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