HELP! Clueless mum to a curly girl
Please can you help. My daughter has the most beautiful curly hair (straight after washing). After that it's a disaster! I don't have the first clue how to manage it. She is 2 and a half and it is a constant battle to wash or comb her hair. The poor child looks like a scarecrow most days. I know it can look gorgeous as on the odd occasion it just turns out lovely. I have tried so many different products but it is all trial and error. Her hair Attachment 36213is cut regularly and has been layered as it is very thick and heavy. I wash it twice a week with shampoo and an adult conditioner. Then each morning I spray it to dampen and use a wide tooth comb to get the sleep time knots out. Any advice would be great. I think she is a 3a but I'm not 100%.
Welcome! Have you heard of the Curly Girl method? There is information on the stickies on the newbies board or search YouTube or get the book itself. Techniques are at least as important as product selection.
Curly Girl: The Handbook: Michele Bender, Lorraine Massey, Deborah Chiel: 9780761156789: Amazon.com: Books
waterlily716 - curly hair & beauty @:-) - YouTube (loads of CG method videos)
Curly Girl Method for Toddlers (Kynnedy's CGM Detangle & Wash Routine) - YouTube (one of a series of videos on her little girl's haircare)
Several things to try
- satin pillowcase or satin sleeping cap plus 'pineapple' or braid at night
- switch from commercial shampoo to conditioner only washing
- use a leave in conditioner renowned for 'slip', there are several curly kids haircare ranges that will likely have decent products (Curly Q's, Ouidad Krly Kids, Blended Cutie, Mixed Chicks Kids, Kinky Curly Tiny Twirls)
- don't comb damp because you will damage her hair, either dripping wet and drenched in conditioner or dry starting from the bottom and working up (many curlies do not comb daily)
- may want to wash three times a week in order to detangle: this will be much less like hell if you follow all the above!
Detangling with fingers is gentlest, followed by a double row detangling comb. Some curlies like the Tangle Teezer brush. Those with thicker hair generally need to detangle in small sections.
Tangle Teezer the Detangling Hair Care Brand
Thanks for that. I haven't heard of the curly girl method so will look into that. I will try following your tips and see how we go. Is it recommended to not use shampoo at all then? I suppose her hair is never greasy thinking about it!
What are your thoughts on the Argan oil? It's been suggested I use that but I thought that was more to prevent dryness than anything else?
Thanks again for your quick response :)
If you really can't get on with conditioner washing after a few weeks you could switch to a super gentle sulphate free shampoo, BUT at that point I would find a way to cover your daughter's eyes. Skin and hair like pH 4.5 to 5.5 (acidic), eyes tend to prefer 7+ (neutral to alkaline) so some products that are actually gentle can sting IYSWIM. There are face shields or you can try the lying back counter wash as per the video linked to in my last post, or of course the curly kids ranges which will include some tear-free formulas.
Frizz and dryness are intimately linked, curlies often need more conditioning than straight hairs so many of us use leave in conditioners. Pure argan oil is a rich source of the fatty acid oleic acid which will penetrate more porous hair, but if her hair is virgin it may not be that porous anyway and if it's fine you might find straight oils weigh her hair down or looks greasy.
It tends to be easier to distribute natural plant oils if they are as part of a conditioner formula or styling product. If you want to purchase argan oil be sure to get pure oil, many brands are actually wall to wall silicones (artificial drying oils that can build up on the hair, need shampoo to remove). Other natural oils that can penetrate hair include coconut oil and avocado oil.
I think you should do what took me a few years of experimenting with.
First: Since she's 2, do her hair WHILE she's in the bath. Take a bath with her and have her play while you put her hair up.
Second: Put her hair UP. While years later her curls will be her pride and joy, right now, she's little, and gets into messes and goes to bed like a sleeping ninja. The curls get tangled easily right? You can brush/comb one side and by the time you finish the other side , your previous work is ruined? Put it up. Make braids and ponytails. It gets her hair out of her eyes and trains it to go back.
Thirdly: Don't shampoo everyday. Use only conditioner. Wash her hair on weekends.Try things like Garnier Frutis that has low sulfates and natural oils. Then, as you wash it out, leave a litttlllle LITTLE bit of conditioner in her hair. If it makes it easier, wash it all out then put a small [dime size] amount back in. Curly hair needs moisture and protection but since she's so small, her hair isn't grown up enough to handle the heaviness.
Let her sleep with her hair wet and braided if need be because of time. The water overnight does WONDERS and she'll notice too.
She's small so those little cute hair bands with little balls at the end... those are the devil's work to her. And the Rubber bands, those HURT and snag and tangle! Instead, use scrunchies. Scrunchies can come in lots of colors she'll love and don't hurt.
Hope this Helps <3
If you need to do her hair dry, Bring Johnson and Johnson hair detangler and leave in conditioners that you water down so it's sprayable. The more water, the easier to do. Even just really water-ed down conditioners are great.
Use a BRUSH on her hair. Not boar or paddle or cushion though. Strong wide toothed brushes that have vents are the best on little girls' hair because it keeps curls in sync. It doesn't hurt, and though it's meant to dry, if done in the shower or constant sprays, it allows the water to spread.
Much love to your baby girl and I hope your life with her hair gets better X)
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