Help a mama out

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  • 1 Post By EliasMama

My two year old son has awesome, beautiful, crazy curls of which I am completely & unashamedly jealous of as my hair has NO curl/wave. He gets compliments on his hair all the time, especially at it's craziest. The problem is I can't tame it & he has one section, that if I don't comb daily, becomes so knotted that combing it out is a battle. We only wash once or twice a week with an organic baby shampoo/wash which probably isn't the best choice & then I use a leave-in conditioner for curls (it's in his room so can't see brand right now). I use a de-tangler daily when I comb it. I was using rainbow resources detangler but since we ran out today I put 2 TBS of his conditioner in hot water & we'll see how that works.

I'm open to any suggestions on better shampoo, must be a tear free one because bathing him/hair washing is hard enough as it is.

I'm open to suggestions for leave-in conditioners &/or detanglers as well. In fact, any suggestions would be appreciated.

I don't know his hair number though I would suspect it's closest to 3A from the pictures. I've attached the best pic I have of his hair but it was in serious need of a washing so might not be the best.

thanks
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Help a mama out-gq-avatar.jpg   Help a mama out-nc-pic-2.jpg  

Last edited by EliasMama; 12-26-2013 at 09:33 PM.
I am not sure how much help I will be, since your son has much curlier hair than my 3 year old daughter...he is adorable, BTW. What I do with her hair is every evening during her bath I wet her hair down and apply Yes to Carrots conditioner. I let it sit for a while and then detangle with a wide tooth comb. After rincing I leave a little in her ends. I only shampoo when she needs it, hair look dirty or greasy. The shampoo I use is Kiss My Face Kids 2in1. Even though it is a shampoo & conditioner, I always follow up with the YTC conditioner. The shampoo is just ok, but it is a trade off for tear free. The pH of tear free shampoo is not the best for hair (learned that here), but bath time can be a struggle with a stronge willed child, so I opt for tear free. In the morning, I spray her hair with water/conditioner mixture and detangle again. She will not let me braid or pineapple at night so there are major tangles in the morning. HTH, good luck!
2a/b, med/high porosity, high density, fine texture
Various options: the solution is as much change if technique or approach as change of products. Curly hair is very different to straight hair.

First switch to conditioner only washing so you start the detangling process from the first moment. Second use a silk or satin pillowcase or bedsheets to reduce tangles forming at nap time.

Third stop combing daily, curly hair is not meant to be totally tangle free like straight hair, curls will naturally clump together. Whilst full on knots and mats are damaging and to be avoided, detangling is also damaging: damaged hair is prone to tangling. Many find the less they comb the less they need to comb. Even consider finger combing and finger detangling only.

Lastly use a wash out/ leave in conditioner (can be same product) noted for its 'slip' - ingredients like natural oils, the behentrimoniums. Avoid anything that builds up or is 'sticky' like butters or waxes including cetyl esters. If your leave in is slippy this will 'reactivate' when you wet down the hair so aiding detangling during washing.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
I disagree with fox about the combing. I wash or wet my hair daily and comb it. It's when I don't that it gets extremely knotted and very difficult to comb later. Have u tried looking up YouTube videos on detangling kids' hair?
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
While I do not detangle my hair daily, it is a must for my daughter. She twirls her hair when she is tired and is falling asleep, so she gets major knots at night and nap time. As I said in my earlier post, she will not let me braid or pineapple, so I am not sure how to prevent the knots.
2a/b, med/high porosity, high density, fine texture
My post was aimed at the OP whose child has fairly short hair.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
My post was aimed at the OP whose child has fairly short hair.
Originally Posted by Firefox7275
We know. If his hair is anything like mine, which it looks to be, then it would apply either way.
Medium texture, normal porosity, normal elasticity
I have a two year old with collar bone length 4a hair and sometimes you have to traumatize them a little for the sake of their hair (totally, slightly kidding here) but here's our routine:

Once a week during bath time I lay her down in the tub to wet her hair and then liberally apply Tresseme Naturals Conditioner to her hair and clip it up while she plays for 10-15 minutes. Then right before it's time to wash up her body, I detangle her hair with a wide-toothed comb. Then I lay her back down to get as much of the conditioner out as possible. We have a detachable shower head and I've rinsed her hair using that as well.

Another option, if you have time or the inclination, is to lay your babe on the counter next to the kitchen sink with their head in the sink. You can use the detachable faucet head thing-a-ma-jig to rinse and all that fun stuff without getting anything in their little eyes.

It's important to note that all of the above (except for the kitchen sink option) end up in screaming like a banshee for the exact amount of time her head is in contact with water. She's completely fine afterwards, but a passerby or neighbor might think I'm chopping her up for stew during some of our wash day routines.

After the fun (sarcasm) times in the tub, I moisturize her hair using my leave-in (either Kinky Curly Knot Today or Giovanni Direct Leave-in) followed by 100% Pure Unrefined African Shea butter. After that I do a protective style that will stay put for a few days. Braids, ponytails and puffs are our normal styles.

Her parts are NOT always straight and I definitely have to follow her head around as she watches TV and plays but hey, she's two and she's not Beyoncé.

HTH!

**Edited to add that I don't necessarily think you should use my products in your son's hair or put it into little puffs BUT sometimes it's okay to let em scream while you get the knots out. They'll be okay!
I am not sure how much help I will be, since your son has much curlier hair than my 3 year old daughter...he is adorable, BTW. What I do with her hair is every evening during her bath I wet her hair down and apply Yes to Carrots conditioner. I let it sit for a while and then detangle with a wide tooth comb. After rincing I leave a little in her ends. I only shampoo when she needs it, hair look dirty or greasy. The shampoo I use is Kiss My Face Kids 2in1. Even though it is a shampoo & conditioner, I always follow up with the YTC conditioner. The shampoo is just ok, but it is a trade off for tear free. The pH of tear free shampoo is not the best for hair (learned that here), but bath time can be a struggle with a stronge willed child, so I opt for tear free. In the morning, I spray her hair with water/conditioner mixture and detangle again. She will not let me braid or pineapple at night so there are major tangles in the morning. HTH, good luck!
Originally Posted by Wavygirl1
I've thought about the yes to carrots shampoo before so I'll look into the conditioner. We definitely need a tear-free shampoo as he goes completely balistic trying to crawl out of the tub if even water gets on his face so you can imagine if a non-tear free did. & thanks, we thinks he's absolutely adorable :-)
Various options: the solution is as much change if technique or approach as change of products. Curly hair is very different to straight hair.

First switch to conditioner only washing so you start the detangling process from the first moment. Second use a silk or satin pillowcase or bedsheets to reduce tangles forming at nap time.

Third stop combing daily, curly hair is not meant to be totally tangle free like straight hair, curls will naturally clump together. Whilst full on knots and mats are damaging and to be avoided, detangling is also damaging: damaged hair is prone to tangling. Many find the less they comb the less they need to comb. Even consider finger combing and finger detangling only.

Lastly use a wash out/ leave in conditioner (can be same product) noted for its 'slip' - ingredients like natural oils, the behentrimoniums. Avoid anything that builds up or is 'sticky' like butters or waxes including cetyl esters. If your leave in is slippy this will 'reactivate' when you wet down the hair so aiding detangling during washing.
Originally Posted by Firefox7275
Thank you. I'll look into the conditioners with different ingredients.
I disagree with fox about the combing. I wash or wet my hair daily and comb it. It's when I don't that it gets extremely knotted and very difficult to comb later. Have u tried looking up YouTube videos on detangling kids' hair?
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190
nope but I'll have to do that when I get some time. I should have thought of that. I look everything else up on there.
I have a two year old with collar bone length 4a hair and sometimes you have to traumatize them a little for the sake of their hair (totally, slightly kidding here) but here's our routine:

Once a week during bath time I lay her down in the tub to wet her hair and then liberally apply Tresseme Naturals Conditioner to her hair and clip it up while she plays for 10-15 minutes. Then right before it's time to wash up her body, I detangle her hair with a wide-toothed comb. Then I lay her back down to get as much of the conditioner out as possible. We have a detachable shower head and I've rinsed her hair using that as well.

Another option, if you have time or the inclination, is to lay your babe on the counter next to the kitchen sink with their head in the sink. You can use the detachable faucet head thing-a-ma-jig to rinse and all that fun stuff without getting anything in their little eyes.

It's important to note that all of the above (except for the kitchen sink option) end up in screaming like a banshee for the exact amount of time her head is in contact with water. She's completely fine afterwards, but a passerby or neighbor might think I'm chopping her up for stew during some of our wash day routines.

After the fun (sarcasm) times in the tub, I moisturize her hair using my leave-in (either Kinky Curly Knot Today or Giovanni Direct Leave-in) followed by 100% Pure Unrefined African Shea butter. After that I do a protective style that will stay put for a few days. Braids, ponytails and puffs are our normal styles.

Her parts are NOT always straight and I definitely have to follow her head around as she watches TV and plays but hey, she's two and she's not Beyoncé.

HTH!

**Edited to add that I don't necessarily think you should use my products in your son's hair or put it into little puffs BUT sometimes it's okay to let em scream while you get the knots out. They'll be okay!
Originally Posted by lovebonita
I know about the traumatization! He hates his hair being washed & at most we do it twice a week. Some days are better than others. The Giovanni has been recommended to me before as has the Shea Moisture Detangler.

I'm sure your little one is adorable in puffs. I'm equally sure my little one would bite me if I tried


Thanks ladies for the tips. I'll look into them all & see where I go from here. Have a blessed New Year.
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