Here is how to detangle:
1. When she is in the bath, and her hair is soaking wet, liberally apply handfuls of thick conditioner to her hair. I like aubrey organics honeysuckle rose, it is very very thick.
2. Then gently work a wide-toothed comb or denman brush (or something similar to this) through her hair. You may wish to hold the strands of hair away from her head with your other hand, to avoid tugging. The only
way that you should attempt to detangle hair is when it is soaking wet and slathered with conditioner! My hair is not even that curly, mostly 2c with a little 3a on the ends, and I can't even begin to describe the pain of dry combing.
3. Leave the conditioner in. Don't rinse it out. The next day, if it is fuzzy, wet your hands with water and smooth them through her hair. Then smooth on a little bit more conditioner. Don't brush.
There are all kinds of styling products for kids (and adults) designed to bring out the curl, and you may put them on top of the conditioner if you wish, but this is just a basic detangling explanation. Detangling in this manner prevents fine, thin hairs from snapping and breaking (and destroying combs too!). When I detangle my hair this way, it doesn't hurt at all.
I attempted to post a link to a good website with pictures on this method of detangling, but the website was down...
I will come back later and try again!