BTDT Working Moms...does it get any easier?

I just took Reina to daycare for day #2. I cried in the hall yesterday and today I made it home before I did. When does it get easier for mommy and the child? She was crying her little heart out when I picked her up yesterday.
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My DD was three months old when she started day care. She liked it right away and enjoyed watching the other kids and all the activity. For me, it got easier once I knew she was happy and well-cared for.

It will get better once you're both comfortable with the routine. Hopefully you like and trust Reina's care givers. It makes it easier for you to concentrate on getting your work finished so you can go home to your baby.

Good luck!
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Oooh, I remember bawling my eyes out in the car the first day I went to work. My son was 18 months and was like "see ya later mom", I on the other hand had a harder time with the separation.
It's so hard but like Lolo said, once you get used to the routine and you realize your child is happy and well taken care of, it does get easier.
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My daughter stayed home with my ex husband until we separated when she was 16 months old and I enrolled her in full time daycare.
I was nervous and upset, but eventually got over it. Some days she doesn't even want to leave with me. Her daycare is run by Ms. Karen. BK constantly tells me "Ms. Karen helped me today!"

Okay, in some ways it gets easier but the mommy guilt is always there in some fashion or other. It does get easier when you drop them off and they stay happy and giggly...for Addison this took about 2 weeks (at the second daycare)...for Chas it was 4 or more months. Each child is different.

I have a nanny now and I still feel mommy guilt some days even though they are home with me and I get to see them more throughout the day. I get asked...why are you working. Can you swing me mommy? I don't want nanny to come to our house. (by the way we don't call her nanny just Ms. Her Name).
I don't think childcare gets easier. The relentless stress of childcare, both on the children and on me, is the main reason I'm a SAHM.

Sorry, but you asked.

Granted, you asked the question of working moms. And I don't mean to turn this thread into a working-mom vs. SAHM debate. But I was a working mom for many years, and had babies, toddlers, school-age kids in all kinds of care situations. It's always stressful. Maybe I'm just not capable of juggling all those stresses. Maybe a career wasn't as important to me as other moms. I just know that my kids and I have been so much happier since I stopped working. Part-time work was correspondingly less stressful.

I babysit a 1.5 year old. I've had him every day for the past year and he loves it here, and he still tortures his mother most days about going off to childcare. She's stressed.
with my first son, it honestly never got better (for me!) until he was 18+ months old, and I realized just how much he enjoyed and got from going...add a 2nd little boy into the mix, and it has gotten a lot easier...maybe because I am tired all.the.time, and work is now my "escape"...or maybe because my work situation has improved, and while I can't say I "enjoy" my job, it is what it is, and I think I've accepted it's necessity to our financial situation...that, and I have a future goal to work towards - we want to get our debt paid off enough so that I can go down to part time by the time the boys are in school, so I can be there to see them off and when they get home...
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It is a necessity due to our financial situation. We have a lot of things going on right now that need to be handled before I can stay at home. At times, I'm not even sure if I want to. It just breaks my heart when she cries as we leave. I prefer dropping her off when she is asleep, but then when she wakes up and we aren't there, she has a hard time taking her naps later. I don't know. I just know this morning I was so tired from the rough night we had that I was almost glad that her dad took her. Then he calls and tells me how she cried when he was leaving. We are supposed to be moving in October with DH's AF commissioning, so I may take a few months to see if we can swing it one income. If so then I may work part-time and SAH with her. Luckily I have another week before I go back to work. Maybe she'll be a little more adjusted by then.
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I don't think childcare gets easier. The relentless stress of childcare, both on the children and on me, is the main reason I'm a SAHM.

Sorry, but you asked.

Granted, you asked the question of working moms. And I don't mean to turn this thread into a working-mom vs. SAHM debate. But I was a working mom for many years, and had babies, toddlers, school-age kids in all kinds of care situations. It's always stressful. Maybe I'm just not capable of juggling all those stresses. Maybe a career wasn't as important to me as other moms. I just know that my kids and I have been so much happier since I stopped working. Part-time work was correspondingly less stressful.

I babysit a 1.5 year old. I've had him every day for the past year and he loves it here, and he still tortures his mother most days about going off to childcare. She's stressed.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
My kids almost never cry when I leave them, even when they were very little, and I am very happy with my childcare provider- so much so that even if we were to come into money and I could stay home, I'd probably send them a couple of days per week. That said, the stress of working is really too much for me. It's so difficult to get 3 kids out of the house every morning. My job used to be very flexible, but now it is less so, and I am getting home later and later in the evenings (with paperwork left to do). I'm either working or attending to my kids, and to be honest, my kids are losing out because of it. By the end of the week, I just don't have the energy. Almost no housework gets done, and I am constantly criticized by my mother, who lives a few miles away, for that.

I used to work part time and I loved it, but again, even though I was sad to leave my kids, they were happy and loved at their daycare. When I worked part time, I wasn't so burnt at the end of the day that I couldn't accomplish anything. I also earned more then (long story, same job, but I was contractual), so I could hire someone to come clean the house once a week.

Anyway, I think it's difficult for different reasons, but yes, it is very hard.
It does get easier. I'm technically in school, not working, but I am separated from my boy in the day. He spends 2 days with my mama and 3 at pre-school. He LOVES both. I cried too for the first couple of weeks or so until he adjusted (I started school when he was 13.5 months - before that he was home with me.) I think it is hard with a baby as young as yours - the US crappy mat leave never ceases to shock me - but harder for you. The baby is young enough not to have separation anxiety. The main hard part for me with a baby that age would be nursing, but there are pumps.

I disagree with RCW - my perspective is different. I love what I'm doing, I need to do it, it will make my kid's life better as well as mine, it makes me a better parent because I am happy and fulfilled. I don't have any of this "mommy guilt" people speak of and I think that is sometimes a way of keeping women down. My child is well-adjusted and we are very well-bonded - I have no regrets and I knowI would resent staying home, even if it meant more time with him. We are all different, so give yourself a chance - you might feel like RCW and you might feel like me, and either way your baby will likely be fine.

Also, maybe there is some flexibility with the job to be part-time or have a day off or work from home sometimes? I am lucky that I'm about to have 4.5 months off school and my son has July and August off pre-school and I will be working from home all summer, so he and I will have a blast! I like having some stay-home time but then some professional time to look forward to.

It is hard though -good luck!
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Also, maybe there is some flexibility with the job to be part-time or have a day off or work from home sometimes?

It is hard though -good luck!
Originally Posted by Amneris
((hugs)) I'm sure full-time daycare is tough for both Mama and baby. If you have to do it, you have to do it, but if its at all possible to introduce some flexibility into your schedule, its definitely worth looking into IMO.

My kids LOVE daycare, but I'm sure its because (a) they were older when they started and (b) its 2-3 times a week maximum. I went back to work 2 days a week in September (DS was 4, DD was almost 2) and I left the kids at home with MIL. It was a freaking cry-fest every time I left. The kids would be hanging onto my ankles as I tried to walk out the door. I decided to move them into daycare in January and it was the best thing for them - now they feel like they are out doing something fun while I'm out working.


I don't have mommy guilt (although I HATED working when my kids were babies, although like Amneris said, I think it bothered me a lot more than them)), and I don't think my working is hard on my preschool children. My school aged child, however, is another story and I wouldn't have guessed that in a million years. He needs me at home after school, and most days, I can't be available. I think if I was earning more money, I would feel better, but currently, we don't even have enough money to buy groceries some weeks, so if I have a long day, there is no takeout, I can't ever have a sitter on the weekend so SO and I can go out, etc. When I was earning more (and the economy was better), I had someone come clean one day a week.

Anyway, I'm researching better paying careers. How I will swing that I am not sure, but I don't have the option not to work. I wish I could get my old job back (still as a speech pathologist, but it was a contract position so it paid much better and I worked 3 1/2 days).

To the op- if it makes you feel better, my kids really do love daycare. I really do think it's hardest on me (but that is hard for them too- you know, if mama isn't happy and all that...)
Maybe this is just my experience talking, but my kids stay home with my husband and I still find it hard. I have the stress of being the breadwinner and everything that goes with a stressful job. Plus, as the Mama, I am still on the front lines with a lot of things with the boys (Harry's therapy, for example). I know that isn't always the case, but that is how it is in my family. (DH handles other things, though. I never do laundry or cleaning, for example!) Also, with my boys being little, they still need Mama differently than they need Daddy. As an introvert, I find it very intense. Many days, I wish I could trade with my DH and have him work so I wouldn't have to be the one worrying about EVERYTHING all the time.

Sorry for the tangent. I think it gets easier as they get older and it depends on your child's (and your) personality. I know I cried when returning to work after both boys, even knowing that Daddy was with them. And I know at some point, it got easier. Meanwhile, hugs to you!
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Thanks for all the encouragement. This is the last week before I go back to work. She didn't go yesterday, because Daddy was off work after working the whole weekend. I wanted us to spend some family time together. I'm going to try to make sure she goes a few hours everyday for the rest of the week. Plus on Friday, Mommy and Daddy are planning date day before we both are working. Her care providers are awesome, but she's become very clingy lately so it's really hard to leave her. Hopefully it will get better!
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I just took Reina to daycare for day #2. I cried in the hall yesterday and today I made it home before I did. When does it get easier for mommy and the child? She was crying her little heart out when I picked her up yesterday.
Originally Posted by PrettyLady24
My kids started daycare when they were too young to really know the difference (5 months and 4 months)
and always seemed to like it, overall. But occasionally, one will just have a "bad morning."

When that happens, one of the daycare providers will text me when she/he cheers up and stops pouting...which is usually as I'm pulling away from Starbucks LOL maybe 5 minutes after I drop them off. And periodically, they will text me pictures of the kids playing happily or posing happily for the camera. It's very reassuring. Maybe you could ask for a text or a picture as soon as she stops crying so you know when you can "stop worrying?"

But babies cry. Some more than others.

((HUGS))
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I don't know when it gets easier. I've been back at work for 3 weeks and cried all day the first day and she was just going to my mom's house and since then she's been home with dad. I still feel guilty when I kiss her goodbye in the morning. I'm getting teary right now thinking about it!
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So I'm back at work. I was 30 minutes late thanks to DH not having time to drop Reina off. I haven't cried and am about to pump for the third time. I can't wait to see her this afternoon. I called the daycare and they say she's doing fine, but aren't they supposed to say that?

I'm really glad we got a two week jumpstart on daycare. Today would have been really crappy if we hadn't. The bad thing is that I got sick yesterday.
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