Need encouragement, please!

I'm planning to do a natural childbirth this time (I induced and ended up w/ an emergency c-section with Danae). I plan to skip the pain meds and want to be able to walk and move around as much as possible. I feel like it's the right thing to do and what's best for me and the baby, but as my due date is getting closer, I'm starting to get scared that I can't do it. I know that logically, my body is built to do this, but I'm terribly wussy about pain and things going wrong. Any words of advice, encouragement, or personal stories of success would be greatly appreciated.
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Ummm, I can barely talk about stuff like this due to my juvenile squeamishness on the subject, so I'll just wish you luck and say that I hope everything goes as you would wish.

Strangely, I did think about you this morning and wonder if you were almost due.......
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You can do it. My sister had an emergency c-section with her first child, scheduled c-section with her second because of the first one, and finally found a doctor who delivered her third child vaginally and drugfree. No problems and she healed faster/better.
You can do it!!! I know you can!

I believe in you!

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You can do it!

Don't agree to an induction unless there is a good medical reason.

Don't agree to an IV or to constant monitoring unless they give you good, specific reasons. Stay off your back, move around and find the best position.

Don't go to the hospital too early.

Don't let them give you pitocin. Remember that the non-pit contractions only last a minute or two, and then you get a break from the pain.

You don't have to push the baby lying on your back with your legs up in the air. Try pushing on all fours, down on one knee or even lying down on your side.

Did I mention you can do it? Becuase you totally can
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You can do it!!

I am not hardcore at all when it comes to pain, I am actually a big wuss, and I had no epidural or pain meds for both my boys' births.

Don't have the doctor induce you if you can avoid it, and stay home from the hospital as long as possible.

I have a medical condition that causes low platelets, and I couldn't get epidurals, so I was scared as hell about having labor induced, because I knew the contractions would be stronger and harder to deal with. I wasn't going to consider induction until I got to 42 weeks, but I went into labor on my own before then.

You can do it! Your limits (for pain or whatever) are much further than you realize.
Aw, good luck! You can do it! As usual, Geeky gives good advice. Try to resist the induction and constant monitoring, so you can keep moving and not be tied to the bed. You'll be great!
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It's totally normal to have doubts in late pregnancy. Most women do, even very experienced ones. With my VBA3C baby, I had doubts that I could do it til the very moment his head popped out. Really...the loop in my head was saying "you can't do it, what the hell were you thinking" all through labor. The truth is, you can do it. Untold millions of women before you have done it. It's really not that bad.

I'll tell you the secret that it took me 4 babies to learn:

The contractions at the end of labor are not any more painful than the contractions at the beginning of active labor. They are closer together. They are more intense. But they are not more painful. If you can get through contractions at 4 centimeters, you can get through contractions at 10 centimeters. Really. Just take them one at a time.

Follow Geeky's guidelines above, and you'll GREATLY reduce your risk of c-section. It's the induction/augmentation that messes things up. It starts the slippery slope...one intervention (pitocin) leads to another (continuous fetal monitoring), leads to another (enforced bedrest), leads to another (epidural because it's hard to deal with contractions while lying down), leads to another (stuck baby from the epidural), and the next thing you know you're on the operating table. Induction is almost never needed, but it's so often employed. Just say no. You can say no to ALL pitocin. You can say no to all but intermittant monitoring. Stay upright and moving. I can't stress that enough. Gravity is your friend. You wouldn't find early women lying in bed while laboring/birthing in times before doctors took over the process. No. We stood. We walked. We squatted. We moved. Semi-standing, with wide feet, hanging from hubby's neck and hip swaying was my go-to position for contractions. Moan low. Push when you feel the urge and not when people tell you to. Push while sqatting or semi-squatting...it opens the pelvis another 30% over what it is while lying. And don't do purple-pushing...that causes damage to your nethers. Babies really do come out. They really do!!!! And they come out with hardly any damage to you. It's amazing. If you let it.

Be patient. Hopefully, your caregiver has lots of patience. They say the best type of caregiver is a coyote midwife: a coyote midwife sits by the hole, and waits.
You can totally do it, honestly i'd rather give birth than have a migraine, I had an vbac with Izzy and it was the best decision I ever made can't wait to have another .

I definitely feel that the induction with Danae was why she ended up being a c-section baby. I wasn't dialated or effaced at all. I kinda feel stupid now, but my doctor asked me if I wanted to induce at 40 weeks, and I was like, "Sure, sounds good!" I'm going to be more patient this time around.

I've made my birth plan and I'm bringing it to my next OB visit. I'm all for staying off any drugs this time, and I definitely want the ability to move around and drink a dang glass of water if I need to. The worst part (other than the actual surgery) of my last labor was being stuck in that bed. I was so antsy, but I couldn't get up because of all the monitors and IV. Pixie and Delma sent me some sample birth plans, and I found one that was a nice, easy form online, so I feel like that part is ready. Now I just need to convince myself that I really can do this.
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Thanks for posting this Nynaeve. I'm only 24 weeks along but I've been giving a lot of thought to my birth plan. With my son, I rushed to the hospital the minute my water broke (I didn't know any better), even though I wasn't having contractions yet and ended up being strapped to IVs, monitors and confined to a bed for 10 hours waiting for contractions to start. I was ready to pull my hair out! I was then given cervadil (sp?) to soften the cervix in hopes that things would get moving. Well from what I've read about it since then, there's a small risk of uterine hyperstimulation with it and of course I was one of those that is overly sensitive to it. Within minutes of them inserting the medication I went from no contractions to back to back horrible contractions that wouldn't let up. That's just not natural so it was awful.

This time, I'm planning on staying home as long as possible. I refuse to go through that again.
I'm planning on sticking to my guns this time around.
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Last edited by Magoo; 03-26-2010 at 05:18 AM.
You can do it! Don't let them scare you into crap just because you are a VBAC. Listen to your body and your heart. You are strong and you will handle whatever is thrown your way.

I am hoping for a med-free VBAC next time around. I am sure that unnecessary medical interventions led to my c/s. And yet it's hard to get rid of that voice in my head saying "maybe I can't." When you've had a prior cesarean, it's hard to believe in your ability to have a vaginal birth, especially if you've had people imply your body was defective (like I have). Try to tell that voice to STFU!

I think there is some great advice in here about how to avoid an unnecessary c/s. If you've never read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, go get a copy because it's truly inspiring. GL!

Within minutes of them inserting the medication I went from no contractions to back to back horrible contractions that wouldn't let up. That's just not natural so it was awful.

This time, I'm planning on staying home as long as possible. I refuse to go through that again.
I'm planning on sticking to my guns this time around.
Originally Posted by Magoo
That's pretty much what happened to me when I was induced with Pitocin. I felt like I was in transition at 4 cm. The hospital wanted me in bed. Like a good little patient, I complied and there was just no way to cope with the pain then so I got an epidural and things progressed from there until I was in the OR.

I was educated and committed to natural childbirth and yet in the end I got everything I'd wanted to avoid. I let myself get pressured into things. The bright side is that I've learned a lot and like you, I plan to stand up for myself and my baby a lot more the next time around.

This is making me want to get pregnant so I can give it another go!

You definately can do it!! I had a VBAC 19 years ago(although I did have an epidural). Just go in with an open mind and know that IF you need meds, it does not mean you are a failure.
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Having an epidural doesn't mean personal failure (there are no medals for enduring labor), but epidurals certainly do increase the risk of having another c-section. Significantly.

nynaeve, keep your options open. If you really do need an epidural, try to wait as long as you possibly can...past 8 cms if you can. And try to be sure baby is in an anterior presentation before getting an epidural, because a posterior baby has a very hard time turning to anterior once an epidural is on board and relaxes the deep pelvic floor muscles. Unless mom has a really roomy pelvis, most babies will need to be anterior before they can be born, because of the anatomy relationship of the maternal pelvis and fetal head. Babies really only fit one way.

Stay upright. Stay upright. Stay upright. As long as you can. It's much easier to cope with contractions while upright.

Check your library for the book Active Birth by Janet Balaskas.
you can do it. you totally, totally can.

every woman labors differently, but for me moving was the key. i was walking around most of the time. i leaned on my partner's shoulders (facing one another) and he walked with me - backward and forward, around and around. at the beginning, i did a lot of hip circles, and on the yoga ball doing hip circles, etc.

the midwife had to practically yell at me to get me to lay down to check me when i was fully dilated in transition! i didn't want to be laying down - at all! (:

not only is your body made to do this, there is a beautiful, natural, amazing concert of hormonal interactions taking place that bring the birth to fruition. if your body is feeling and experiencing everything, it creates its own natural morphine. think open. go into the contractions rather than constricting your body against them, if you can. i liked to think of them as waves in the ocean - undulating, coming and receding. that imagery was helpful to me. i approached it as very 'go with the flow' - literally!

it also helped me to conceive of the contractions as pain with a purpose. each contraction is increasing the opening of the cervix, and bringing you closer to meeting your baby!

ina may's guide to childbirth by ina may gaskin was very helpful to me in preparing for my birth.

best birth wishes to you! it really is a wonderful experience.

xo
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Having an epidural doesn't mean personal failure (there are no medals for enduring labor), but epidurals certainly do increase the risk of having another c-section. Significantly.

nynaeve, keep your options open. If you really do need an epidural, try to wait as long as you possibly can...past 8 cms if you can. And try to be sure baby is in an anterior presentation before getting an epidural, because a posterior baby has a very hard time turning to anterior once an epidural is on board and relaxes the deep pelvic floor muscles. Unless mom has a really roomy pelvis, most babies will need to be anterior before they can be born, because of the anatomy relationship of the maternal pelvis and fetal head. Babies really only fit one way.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I am sure this is what happened to me. Epidurals increase the odds of an OP baby significantly--450% according to one study I read. And doctors and nurses don't really seem to be trained in recognizing and addressing fetal malpositions. How can they recognize it when they barely spend any time with the laboring mother? So then it's off to the OR. And often mom is told her pelvis was too small or her cervix was faulty.

Having an epidural doesn't mean personal failure (there are no medals for enduring labor), but epidurals certainly do increase the risk of having another c-section. Significantly.

nynaeve, keep your options open. If you really do need an epidural, try to wait as long as you possibly can...past 8 cms if you can. And try to be sure baby is in an anterior presentation before getting an epidural, because a posterior baby has a very hard time turning to anterior once an epidural is on board and relaxes the deep pelvic floor muscles. Unless mom has a really roomy pelvis, most babies will need to be anterior before they can be born, because of the anatomy relationship of the maternal pelvis and fetal head. Babies really only fit one way.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
I am sure this is what happened to me. Epidurals increase the odds of an OP baby significantly--450% according to one study I read. And doctors and nurses don't really seem to be trained in recognizing and addressing fetal malpositions. How can they recognize it when they barely spend any time with the laboring mother? So then it's off to the OR. And often mom is told her pelvis was too small or her cervix was faulty.
Originally Posted by iris427
In my case, they said my spine curved too much and was pushing the baby's head off my cervix. LOL That's why I plan to be up and moving as much as I can this time. If my spine is so weird, then laying in bed for hours isn't going to help. I shall let gravity do some work for me (it owes me for what it's done to my boobs!).
"Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest."--Linus, A Charlie Brown Christmas
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In my case, they said my spine curved too much and was pushing the baby's head off my cervix. LOL That's why I plan to be up and moving as much as I can this time. If my spine is so weird, then laying in bed for hours isn't going to help. I shall let gravity do some work for me (it owes me for what it's done to my boobs!).
Originally Posted by nynaeve77

Oh, that's such nonsense. It always amazes me the fairy tales the OB staff thinks up to avoid telling women "we screwed up and you have to pay with a c-section recovery".

Not to make this about me, but...

After my first c-sec, the doc told me that I had a "flat pelvic arch" and I was SO LUCKY to be living in modern times, because if not for modern obstetrical practices and c-section, my baby and I would have DIED DIED DIED. And that I would never be able to deliver a baby over 5 pounds (my son was 8 pounds). With the next pregnancy, I was told "oh yes, you have a small pelvis. You'll never be able to deliver a baby, lets just do a c-sec." This played in my head, for years. It was a lot of baggage. My failed VBAC attempt with baby #3 didn't help. All those babies were 8 pounds. With my 4th baby, I had my successful VBAC. My baby was NINE pounds. He flew out so fast in one push...if not for the midwife's fast hands, he would have been a bungy jumper. Small pelvis indeed.

Let me put this plain: OB's and L&D nurses LIE. They make stuff up. They have NO way of knowing if your pelvis is adequate. They have NO way of knowing if your spine is curved and preventing proper labor. Babies are made to be born, and women are made to birth them. You have eons of history behind you personally to prove that. Believe in yourself, and believe in your foremothers. You can give birth. You can. You really can.
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Be patient. Hopefully, your caregiver has lots of patience. They say the best type of caregiver is a coyote midwife: a coyote midwife sits by the hole, and waits.

You can do it!
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almost makes me want to do it again...almost

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