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Old 04-17-2010, 11:58 AM   #1
 
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Default Funniest/dumbest unsolicited advice?

Please share yours! Here's my favorite thus far:

Basically, it's my fault Ava has reflux, as told to me by the very overbearing sister of my backup babysitter who was at the sitter's house on afternoon.

1) I apparently do not burp her right. The only way you can burp a baby is to pin their legs between your thighs and squeeze their legs good & tight with yours, lean them alllll the way over your thigh, and pound on their back. You should do this at least every 1/2 oz during a bottle. If you do this, they will arch their back and scream like wild banshees, but they won't spit up frequently or have acid in their bellies or throats. Like magic!

2) I should stop giving her any formula of any sort. Instead, I should boil beans and then use the juice of the beans in her bottle instead. It "may" make her gassy, but it will fix the reflux. In addition, beans are wonderful for 4 month olds. Lots of fiber and protein and other good stuffs. Everyone knows this. After all, why else would they have that little song... beans, beans, the magical fruit!

3) I should feed her 5-6 oz and then, in about 80 minutes, when she starts to get fussy and rub her eyes (at her normal nap time) obviously she is fussing because she's hungry. That's the only reasons babies fuss or cry. EVER. So instead of trying to get her calmed down for a nap, I should feed her another 6 oz even though it hasn't been an hour 1/2 yet and she usually goes 3-4 hours between feeds. If her tummy is full of food, there won't be room for any acid, right? And *then* when she spits up like a fountain after this second feeding, it's simply because I don't burp her correctly.

Please do share yours.
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Old 04-17-2010, 12:29 PM   #2
 
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The scary part is that Hillbetty might actually try to implement some of her superior knowledge while visiting her sister some day.
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Old 04-17-2010, 02:01 PM   #3
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My kid tends to have accidents b/c sometimes won't stop to go pee...too busy, but has gotten better depending on the situation.
There is something wrong w/ the little one! Go to the doc! You're too cheap to go! You suck! blah, blah, fn blah.....
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Old 04-17-2010, 02:19 PM   #4
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My son was 2 weeks old and slept four hours straight while we were visiting my aunt. She had an elderly gentleman visiting too and he told me, "Wakeup that sleeping baby and feed him. He'll be up all night. You'll starve him." umm...what newborn isn't up all hours of the night for atleast the first month or so? I don't know of any baby that won't tell you when they're hungry.
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Old 04-17-2010, 03:51 PM   #5
 
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The scary part is that Hillbetty might actually try to implement some of her superior knowledge while visiting her sister some day.
That's why she won't be my backup babysitter anymore because she took it all in with wide eyes of amazement and wonder. They did feed her after an hour and 20 minutes even though I told her that overfeeding makes the reflux worse, that she wouldn't need to eat for at least 3 hours, but would be ready for a nap. I told my regular babysitter she is never allowed to leave or get sick again.
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Old 04-17-2010, 04:16 PM   #6
 
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any advice about spoiling a child/how not to spoil a child. i think its really weird when people think you can ruin a newborn by holding them.
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Old 04-17-2010, 05:24 PM   #7
 
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When I went home for a visit some of my older friends thought it was odd that I was hold my 11 month old so much. Oh sure because teething, driving half way across the country, and being in a strange house isn't nerve wracking for a baby odd part was one of these ladies had 8 kids and the other had 3. Whatever...
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Old 04-17-2010, 06:08 PM   #8
 
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I'm not the "boss" of my son because he insists on wearing his underroos backwards so the picture is in the front. Apparently I'm supposed to fight him over this and make him wear his underwear right.

A DT claimed if I didn't stop co-sleeping and letting them jump in the bath with me then it would be 15 years before they stopped on their own. Seriously, she said 15 years.
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Old 04-18-2010, 08:17 AM   #9
 
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I can't think of any that are really funny or dumb, but the most RANDOM piece of unsolicited advice....

My grandma came to visit from Florida after Abram was born. Solomon was delightful and charming while she was here. My grandma said - and I didn't hear this but my husband did - "He's such a good boy. Maybe he's ready to Cry It Out."

Huh???? We weren't even talking about sleep?
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Old 04-18-2010, 11:23 AM   #10
 
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Said to me by the lady with no teeth about my 4 month old. "What are you feeding him? Have you fed him steak yet? I feed my kids steak from birth."
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Old 04-18-2010, 12:01 PM   #11
 
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The only thing that was said to me (at least that I remember) was that I was going to spoil her by holding and wearing her. I ignored that.
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Old 04-18-2010, 12:25 PM   #12
 
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Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
any advice about spoiling a child/how not to spoil a child. i think its really weird when people think you can ruin a newborn by holding them.
I hate when people say that!!! it's so weird, or like everyone gives the baby attention, and the mom will say "she's so spoiled, stop spoiling her so much" ....SHE'S A BABY!
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Old 04-18-2010, 08:44 PM   #13
 
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I got an unsolicited "gift" of a tub of hair grease (first ingredient: mineral oil) from my MIL. My daughter's hair texture is a finer version of mine, so I use some of my products and techniques on my daughter. It struck me as funny that my relaxed headed MIL who kept my daughter for the weekend sent the tub of crap she was using (and I always send the products I use on my daughter in her toiletry kit, but they don't get used) back with my daughter. Thanks, but no thanks.

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Old 04-18-2010, 09:35 PM   #14
 
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I got an unsolicited "gift" of a tub of hair grease (first ingredient: mineral oil) from my MIL. My daughter's hair texture is a finer version of mine, so I use some of my products and techniques on my daughter. It struck me as funny that my relaxed headed MIL who kept my daughter for the weekend sent the tub of crap she was using (and I always send the products I use on my daughter in her toiletry kit, but they don't get used) back with my daughter. Thanks, but no thanks.
Something similar happened the first time my MIL kept my daughter. I also send the products that I use in my daughter's hair and they weren't used at all. I was not too happy about that and had a long discussion with my MIL about how I expect my daughter's hair to look.
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Old 04-19-2010, 01:50 PM   #15
 
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Don't spend money on formula; all a baby needs is cow's milked mixed w/ a little Karo syrup!
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Old 04-19-2010, 02:59 PM   #16
 
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My MIL told me I didn't need to go DD everytime she cried. DD was a week and a half old at the time.
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Old 04-19-2010, 03:19 PM   #17
 
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A doctor told me to have children, despite the fact I'd just told her I didn't want any, and wasn't good with babies at all.
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Old 04-19-2010, 03:24 PM   #18
 
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As someone who had a puker and a crier, I have heard every piece of ignorant advice out there. Nothing surprises me any more. Well, almost nothing.

A few months ago when my daughter developed dystonia in her right leg, my mom kept going on and on - don't carry her so much. Why are you always carrying her. Make her walk. This still makes me mad when I think about it. It's a neurological disorder. She was fine, now she can't walk. She's three, she doesn't understand what's going on, and instead of carrying her, I should make her fall and crawl her way around? Yeah, let me get right on that. Honestly, I think I can feel my blood pressure going up now, thinking about it and this was back before Christmas.
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:46 PM   #19
 
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His eyes will straighten out when he gets older. It's just a baby thing. Thank goodness we didn't listen.

The swing will spoil him and you'll never get him to sleep on your own. I so wish I hadn't listened to this advice....and just let him sleep in the swing so I could get some sleep.

Great Grandma and Great Aunt advice...you should alternate a bottle of sugar water for every other feeding. WHAT?
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Old 04-20-2010, 09:46 AM   #20
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by subbrock View Post
any advice about spoiling a child/how not to spoil a child. i think its really weird when people think you can ruin a newborn by holding them.
I haven't even delivered yet and I've already gotten this advice.
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