I'm having baby #2 jitters/cold feet

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant and at my last appointment the Dr was like "ok, we'll be seeing you every 2 weeks now" and the reality of it just hit me. "OMG, within a couple of months, I'm gonna be the mother of 2!"
It's been 5 years since we've had a newborn in the house and we had a few rough patches getting here so I'm so excited to meet this baby and hold a newborn in my arms again but at the same time, I'm getting the jitters and feeling a bit overwhelmed. I've done absolutely nothing to prepare for this baby yet. I haven't gone through the stuff I have to see what I need and I can't seem to get motivated to do it. Between work and caring for my son, I'm just so wiped by the end of the day.

I know the second time around, I'll have some experience under my belt but I'm still freaking out because I have no clue what it's like to care for 2. My son is 5 which I think will be a bit easier then if he was 2, he can dress himself if I pick out his clothes, feed himself, brush his teeth, etc and pretty much entertain himself for the most part but he still needs his mom's attention. He's excited about becoming a big brother but he's also been mom's one and only for 5 years now. I remember how all consuming caring for a newborn is and I need to be able to do that while at the same time giving my son the attention he needs. I'm afraid he's gonna feel left out or neglected in some way.

I'm worried about labor and giving birth. I ended up being induced after my water broke at 7am and I wasn't having a single contraction by 10pm that night. I don't want to go through that again but I know that as much as I keep telling my body that it's not allowed to do that again (lol!), our bodies sometimes decide not to cooperate. I'm worried about the pain. I'm worried about complications. I've had every worst case scenario run through my head.

I'm anxious about breastfeeding. I'm very determined to BF again this time but we got off to a very rough start when my son was born and struggled for 6 weeks before we both finally got the hang of it. Back then I had all the time in the world to focus on getting the hang of it and trust me, it felt like that was all I did 24/7 in the beginning. Now I keep wondering how I'm going to manage that when I have an active, needy 5 year old to care for also. I may not be able to stay home as long as I did with my son, so I worry about continuing to BF while I'm working.

I know I can count on hubby. He's great about stepping up to the plate and taking over the housework and errands and the little guy when I need him to but he'll only be able to stay home for a week after baby is born. He's able to work from home some days but other days he needs to be out on the road.

So, ladies please tell me how it really is going from 1 to 2. I appreciate any suggestions, advice, whatever you can give me. I keep hearing from some people how much harder it is going from 1 to 2 then it is to go from none to 1 and it is freaking me out!
3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
Modified CG, CJ Rehab, JCWDT, KCKT, VO5 Chamomile Tea Therapy, CJDF, HEBE Gel/Mousse, Bioinfusion Rosemary Mint shampoo, occasional protein

Experimenting with BRHG

"If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain"
I have 3 kids with 4 years between each child. I think your 5-year-old will actually be a very big help. By 5, there's usually no regression to the baby stages and they enjoy helping to get diapers and picking out clothes.

I always used feeding times as snuggle time with the older child. That was our time to read together or play a quiet board game. They were old enough to understand also when I needed to rest in the very beginning.

I didn't find 2 that much harder than 1. You've already established your routine and schedule and the baby just fits into that schedule. My youngest are more easy-going than my oldest simply because they had to be. Their schedules quickly adjusted to ours. If we were on the go, they would sleep in the carrier or their carseats.

The lack of sleep was the hardest. You can't just sleep whenever the baby sleeps because you still have the older one. A lot of times we would snuggle on the sofa and watch movies while the baby napped. I'd doze off for probably about 10 minutes but my child was in my arms so I knew he was safe. I felt guilty at first, but I needed the rest to get through the rest of my day.

My husband was very helpful with taking care of the baby sometimes so I could spend more time with the older ones. I always took a nap as soon as he came home and I used my crock-pot a lot.

I didn't feel like I really nested either the 2nd and 3rd pregnancies. Especially with the 3rd, I was so exhausted from working and being pregnant in the summer that I didn't feel I could get much done. My husband and I scheduled a weekend where the older ones spent the night at their grandparents and we slept late then got the room ready & went through the clothes. I was ready to quit after a couple hours but by the time the baby was born, I was so glad he pushed me to finish.

This is a very scary but exciting time. Congratulations and I'm sure you'll be fine!
2a underneath, 2b/c on top, medium texture, low porosity, normal elasticity, high density
mod-CG since Feb 2009
HG Combo: CJDF, BCDC & AFL
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For me, the jump from 1 to 2 was pretty hard, but my older child is a young 2 1/2 (was 2y3mos when #2 was born). My sister recently had her second baby, and her older son is 5 and I think it's been a lot easier for her. The 5 year old is more independent and doesn't need to be supervised quite as closely as a younger child.

My husband helped a lot with the jump from 1 to 2 by doing as much as he could with our older son. After I delivered the baby, my husband went home to spend the night with DS1 and spent the entire next day with him while I was still at the birth center/hospital (my mom came to spend the day with me and the baby). He also gives DS1 his undivided attention for 20 minutes or so every day when he gets home, and does special outings with him on the weekends. DS1 also does a good job of letting us know when he wants MY attention, and will say "Daddy take baby" so I can spend some one-on-one time with him. I've also found that, while it's so tempting to get stuff done during the baby's naps, I try to spend some quality time with DS1 while I can without distractions.

As far as labor/delivery... both times my water broke (rather, started leaking) before my labor really took off (I was in labor both times, but progressing slowly). The first time, my doctor let me go 30 hours before insisting on Pitocin. The second time, my midwife would have let me go as long as needed but she did want to do antibiotics just in case of infection (which they had also done the first time, when I refused the Pit at 12 hours). So if you really want to avoid Pitocin you can always refuse and see if they want to just do antibiotics instead, if you're concerned about infection.

For breastfeeding, remember that you have some experience going into it this time so at least on your end, it will be a little easier in that regard. As long as the baby is healthy on delivery, as the doctor to put him/her directly on your chest skin-to-skin immediately following the delivery, and not take him/her away for the first hour. That's the crucial time period for establishing breastfeeding. And even if you struggle a bit, I don't think that having an older child will prevent you from being able to work on it at home. Your husband will be there to help you and a 5-year-old can be independent to a degree.

Hope this helps a bit!
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy
My oldest is almost 5 and he actually can change a diaper by himself LOL. They actually like to help. They think they are big stuff by showing off how much they can help you... plus kids like babies. I think you'll do just fine. Just try do to the prep stuff now and try not to stress about the other stuff. All that baby stuff you figured out the first time will come right back to you.
Thanks for the advice and words of encouragment ladies. For the most part, I do feel a little more confident going into this one than I did with my first but I do have the occasional moments of panic.

It's a good thing my DS is obsessed with Daddy right now. He wants to do everything with Dad so it does free me up more.

As far as labor and delivery goes, I'm just hoping I don't go through what I went through with DS1. Pixie, do you know how long they'll let you go once your water breaks before they decide to induce you? My issue was that my water broke and I wasn't even having contractions for over 12 hours. I know there's always the worry about infection setting in once your water breaks.
I plan on making it clear to my MD during my next several visits that it is important to me to be able to BF ASAP.
3b/c fine, thick, porous, protein sensitive
Modified CG, CJ Rehab, JCWDT, KCKT, VO5 Chamomile Tea Therapy, CJDF, HEBE Gel/Mousse, Bioinfusion Rosemary Mint shampoo, occasional protein

Experimenting with BRHG

"If you want the rainbow, you've gotta put up with the rain"
Most hospitals and OB's want you to deliver within 24 hours of water breaking, BUT there have been several studies done that prove that the risk of infection is extremely low for up to 72 hours (3 days) as long as everything is kept out of the vagina. Everything. And that includes no vaginal exams. Not even so-called "sterile" vaginal exams. So, it really is safe (and always better) to wait for labor to start on it's own. Once an exam is done, however, the 24-hour infection clock starts ticking.

I had babies (twice!) when my previous child was age 5. It was great. 5 year olds LOVE babies and they are very helpful, and they really don't require so much hands-on parenting, so you will have time to devote to your new little one.
Most hospitals and OB's want you to deliver within 24 hours of water breaking, BUT there have been several studies done that prove that the risk of infection is extremely low for up to 72 hours (3 days) as long as everything is kept out of the vagina. Everything. And that includes no vaginal exams. Not even so-called "sterile" vaginal exams. So, it really is safe (and always better) to wait for labor to start on it's own. Once an exam is done, however, the 24-hour infection clock starts ticking.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
With my first, the doctor wanted to put me on the 24-hour clock (wanted to actually start Pit at 12 hours so I'd hopefully deliver by around 18 hours, but I refused at that point). As I said before, my midwife with the second would have let me go as long as needed. Again, if they're so worried about infection definitely refuse internal exams and also see about doing antibiotics just in case, if you're comfortable with that.
Faith, 3Aish redhead
Mama to two wild superheroes and a curly-headed baby boy

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